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Merry Christmass to me, Merry Christmas to me, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas to meeeeeeee!

Rags's picture

This week has had some great stuff.

1.  My likely BiPolar and regularly admitted on the the Autism spectrum #2 signed an offer this week for his next role.  His first day in his new role and no longer in my org is 12/25/2022. As I said, Merry Christmas to me.

THough relieved, I will miss him. He is outstanding technically but a flaming disaster on the soft skill side of the balance sheet.  I have busted my hump to mentor him and prep him for future opportunity.  I am glad he has this opportuntiy to lead his own site and team.  His move is lateral, but... positionally it is a good opportunity for him.

2. My next #2 got his offer yesterday.  Starting day.... 12/25/2022.  Yep, Merry Christmas to me.  He is about 90% as technically competent as his predecessor and he has great soft skills, partnership focus, etc....   I am confident that the next year will be a big improvement as this past year has been over the previous year.  But, hopefully it will not be a long, torturous never ending conflict similar to the one experienced with my departing #2.  I am looking forward to comparative calm.

3. DW has received her first offer.  She declined the offer.  The firm rejected her decline.  Something I have never heard of in my entire career.  They called DH and told her that the did not accept her refusal to accept their offer and asked her what it would take for her to go to work with them.  The issue is not money. It was a sound offer.  Her rejection of the offer is two fold. First, it is not a change from her current work content. Second, it exposes her to rediculous taxes in the state where the firm operates. She will never work there as it is a remote role with travel. That makes the Tax exposure a non starter.   Anyway, DW is kicking ass.

She has had a first in her job search history this week though. She received her first rejection following an interview. Her entire professional career, every interview she has had, the company made her an offer.  She was not phased by this at all. They told her that she is too Sr. for their need and they are concerned she would not be with them long term. She agreed.

She has another offer pending with a much larger company in a different space than she has been in for most of her career.  She had other applications submitted.  I am sure she will have a great next phase of her career. She truly is outstanding  and has absolutely the most developed and dedicated work ethic I have every witnessed.

4. Our dear friend's divorce is final as of Friday of last week.  32 years of marriage shit canned by her batshit crazy DH.  Truly he is mentally ill.  She has tried to get him help, support him, etc... He refused to do anything about his issues and perpectrated financial abuse, emotional abuse, and psychological abuse increasingly over the past 2 years.  She finally had enough.  Of course she is now at fault for the demise of the marriage. At least according to her now XILs.

She hired an armed security company to oversee her XH picking up his stuff from HER house. She received all physical property in the divorce. He got most of the investments and cash.  She will sell the house which they built 4yrs ago.  As she had all of his personal belingings moved to the garage, they found a bunch of skitchy stuff. Dozens of guns he had stashed throughout the house including a home made untracable weapon, an automated lock pick tool, and quite a bit of cash ($thousands).  She being who she is notified the court about the cash. She was told to take it to her attorney to be documented, to keep half, and fhave his attorney come get the other half. I would have not said a word and just kept it. But... that may just be me.

5. DW is on her way 'home' from our home in Texas.  Her flight lands in a few hours.  Her current firm flew her out for the end of year training, bonus awards, and EOY party.  This will drive some anxiety as she will in all liklihood feel guilty about leaving after a notable bonus, and how upset everyone at the firm will be for her to resign.  She is the one who built and presented most of the training this week.  She has taken multiple firms paperless over her career and a number of her coworkers have zero understanding of how to function in a paperless CPA practice.  Their anxiety will feed her guilt and anxiety over moving on.  So, I will be on my best, most supportive, sensitive behavior to help smooth her through the process. She'll do great. She always does.

She was venting this AM as she was road raging on her way to visit with our recently divorced friend before heading to the airport.  She was noticably morose.  As we talked, she said I needed to let her be angry and sad and to let her feel what she feels.  Then she said that it was at least partly my fault.  As we have jumped around the world for my career opportunities she is feeling that she cannot settle in, focus on her career, make friends locally, and enjoy our life.  I get her frustration. I have felt bad about those same things for quite some time.  This is part of why I have not pursued higher level opportunities. It is her turn.  So, I will lock in where i am and support her goals.  I applaud her advancing and eventually taking over the primary income mantle.    

After about 30mins of that conversation as she was fighting Houston ridiculous traffic, I offered to sign off and let her find her woosa place before meeting our friends.  Nope.  She said 'I would rather hear your voice.'  I am such a blessed man.  She is my happy place and my mirable.

6. Got a good raise this week.  Oddly, very different than the raise my previous boss presented to me a couple of months ago that was then paused when the company postponed raises and froze hiring.  My new boss, apparently disagreed with my review and raise, and revised it. I had protested the raise for every one of my direct reports as being too low compared to their performance.  I did not protest my raise and review.  My entire team got much bigger raises than the original raise sheet showed.  Good move Boss.  Thanks for taking care of my team.

7.  Mostly done with DW's Christmas Present shopping. As usual, I have not exceeded the budget. Only because I never set a budget and ... I ignore what she tells me the budget is.


8.  The kid will be here on 12/23/2022.  He leaves on 12/29/2022 to head back to his new duty station.  So far he is enjoying being back in the States after his 5yrs in Europe.  I am taking that week off.  We have not seen SS since April 2021. It will be great to be together for the holidays.

9.  My little brother started his new role at a new to him company as COO. He and my SIL made an offer on a home back in Texas. It was accepted.  The next day their AZ home sold with a full price offer.  Proud of my baby bro. 

Life is going pretty well for the Rags clan.

And that is how my Christmas is unfolding.... So far.

Happy Holidays STalkers. I hope it is going well for everyone.



JRI's picture

I'm glad your wife is interviewing, she will be happier in a new role.

My son and DIL are having those "too many moves" thoughts, also.  They are staying with us temporarily while he preps their new house for move in.  They have had a cataclysmic year: sold 1 house, moved and lived in a RV while rehabbing their duplexes, beloved dog died unexpectedly, DS diagnosed with colon cancer after colonoscopy, DS had emergency heart bypasses after pre-surgery testing, no further colon surgery right now, bought house here, moved in with us.  In the meantime, DIL is having multiple medical issues with daily dr appts.  Thank goodness my DS works from home and has a good job.  They just need to settle down and thankfully, near us.  Many doors have closed for them this year.  It will be interesting to see what new doors open.


JRI's picture

I dont think my DS has registeted the stability churn on his DW, either.  Their bodies are talking to them now.

StepUltimate's picture

Loved reading all your good news! Biggrin

I'll add a bit of mine. TODAY STBXH came over with my former SS, now 22, and got all his sh*t from my garage (had very large items including a fridge, metal lockers, a 12x7x2.5 foot custom shelving unit, a 7' tall metal cabinet, wooden workbench, tools, and 4 extra tires from the midlife crisis car). BONUS is that I didn't even have to see him - had a friend come over to let him in the garage & managed everything, making clear I didn't want to see/talk to him. It was perfect; I'd been dreading it but it went better than I could hope. Just got home from dinner with the friend, feel so relieved & happy that STBX no longer has any reason to darken my doorway (or garage) ever ever again. 

Olivia2020's picture

Rags-you have some wonderful updates to wrap up 2022! Thank you for sharing! 

Your wonderful bride will land the right position/job that suits her and it's the company that must be worthy of her, must pass her approval. 

Your boy will enjoy his leave back to the states and spending time with y'all. My son is 27 and finished his 7 years with the Air Force (he was a boom operator on the KC-10), he moved back to Texas and lives in Dallas with his uncle, his dad's brother. 

After 8 years in Florida, I finally made the move back to Texas, my home state. I moved to the Austin area, such a culture shock of NICE and competent people here. And no trace of exNarcDH, his ugly spawn or his exWife. Such a relief.

When I left FL, I took one month to embark on a road trip out west. I invited my son to join me the last week to hike the top 5 National Parks in Utah.  My son mentioned several times during the trip how he enjoyed seeing me laugh, being silly, very chill, enjoying life. I'm no longer the emotional wreck I was during the 5 years with that exNarcDH. As you said, and it stuck with me, living well is the best revenge. 

Landed a job with the VA here in Austin, licensed therapist, to help my fellow vets. ExNarcDH was banking that I would support him, was even calculating how many clients I could see in my private practice in that city...after the nuptials of course. Hard to believe that was almost 3 years ago. Freedom is sweet. 

On that living well thing...I"m taking myself to the Bahamas for a two week yoga retreat, flying out early tomorrow. 

Stay well and validate your brides feelings, haha! You are a good man, stay well! 

Rags's picture

Also congratulations to your DS and his next adventure.

Our son actually PCS'd to his new duty station in VA from 5yrs in Germany about three months ago.  He is enjoying being 'home' and his new challenging job.  April of 2023 will be 12 years for him in the USAF.  He will still have 3yrs left on his current enlistment when he hits his 12th service anniversary.  By all indicators, he intends to do 20yrs or more.  His mom and i are fully supportive of that goal.  I have several retired Sr. military NCOs who work for me now. Mostly Airmen, a few Soldiers, a Swabby or two, and a Marine.  They all do extremely well even when their military retirement income is not considered.  With that retirement that they all honorably earned, they all make more than i do.  Which does me proud.  That is much of the reason why his mom and I are vocal about SS getting his 20 in.  

The kid arrives mid day on 12/23 for a week and I am sure we will enjoy similar laughs to what you and your DS did on your Utah hikes.  We have not seen the kid since April of 2021.  Too long for sure.

As for Austin. We love Austin.  My parents retired there and are still there.  My niece and her DH bought their home about 4miles from my parents, my brother and SIL just moved back to Austin two weeks ago and will close on their next home the middle of Jan that is about 10miles from mom and dad .  About half of the Rags clan has resumed the Austin roots thing.  My DW and I own a home in the Houston area and are in Las Vegas for the forseeable future.  My youngest nephew is in CO half way through his Jr. year in college.  He is an avid mounain and environmentalist (Environmental Engineering major) so he may choose to focus on the Mountain West region for his base as an adult.  My oldest nephew and his wife are in the DFW area. With the exception of my two nephews who are born Texans, the rest of us are transplants and as the saying goes, got there as early as we could manage.

We lived in Austin for many years. I first moved there and started my company there in 1985. I sold to my business partners in 90 just after my divorce was final.  DW, SS and I moved back to Austin in 94 and were there until we moved to the Mid Atlantic region in 2005.  With my parents there, Austin is still our home base.  I expect at some point DW and I will get back to the Austin area.  With his cousins there, I expect our son will move back to Austin when he retires from the USAF.

Enjoy your Austin adventure.