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BM "needs an apology"

Cookieboom's picture

BM has told the court that she needs BF to make amends and apologize for “his past behavior.” I’m sorry what?????

Just another way for her to try the “I’m a victim” act. I know this is a game with the courts, and she is making herself look like an azz (GAL, the parental coordinator, judge and lawyers are NOW seeing it) but it still angers me that she still takes no responsibility for any of her actions.  I asked BF if she is going to apologize to you for leaving you and SS for a married man? And going after an innocent woman (me)?

BF said he is willing to apologize.  He reminded her lawyer that BM left him with SS when she ran off with a married man (Who later got his brain back and went back to his wife).  Her Lawyer said yes I know I read the GAL report.  BF told lawyer how BM ruined two relationships and he again said yes I know I read the GAL report.  Her lawyer also said he can’t stop her from running her mouth (in a much nicer way). 

I know it has to be done and this is a game with the court, but it still irritates me.  Ridiculous!

Winterglow's picture

Why would he apologize? What for? That might cast doubt on his integrity and, by extension, all the evidence against her. They might think it's not as serious as it was... 

shamds's picture

Further fuels her bs. He just needs to if called out in court whether he wants to apologise just needs to respond


"apologise for what? For raising and taking sole custody of my son because ex ran off to have an affair with a married man and cheated on me?? Well i'm sorry i stepped up to be our son's parent"

he shouldn't be apologizing just on principal.

my husbands ex did the same, had an affair, played the victim and conviced sd's the reason why daddy had no or lack of relationship with them was because of my and our then 2 toddlers existence.

reality was hubby wasn't gonna allow himself to play their manipulative games and when they ended contact for over 5 yrs, he neither reqd nor seeked their permission or approval to have a relationship yet along have kids with me. He's the adult, he makes the decisions period

exwife so called made an apology according to eldest sd despite never saying i'm sorry. It was nothing but waffling on how they both remarried and had new families and to move on

Cookieboom's picture

I think the lawyers were thinking that BF is showing the court that he is willing to compromise and be reasonable in regards to custody, as BM is not….

BM said in court that SS is afraid of BF, thinks I am dangerous, and is afraid that BF will hurt her and/or SS, and is afraid that BF will break into BM’s house and hurt her.  We cannot believe she actually said that. 

The judge told BF, “I never tell people to do this, but once you get a new custody agreement, I think it would be in your best interest to show SS the agreement as he will know the truth and know exactly what the court has decided.”  

shamds's picture

He knows she's playing a manipulative game but has to stay neutral. Its classic pas tactic. Skid is scared but there is no physical proof his dad would hurt them or ever has previously.

he has never broken into exwifes home, never entered it, he has never been physically abusive with either so biomum is drilling and brainwashing him her crap to the point he believes this bullshit.

my husbands exwife claimed to sd's daddy went to see a witch dr to do black magic against her as she went to see a witch dr who confirmed this. But then eldest sd claimed they had cctv footage from a neighbour clearly showing bio mums own sister and   Bil breaking into their home to do black magic (they'd stacked up knives weirdly, dead cats left, blood smothered etc) it was all classic black magic crap.

yet sd still believed bio mums claim daddy must have done it when cctv footage proved biomums sister and bil did it.

common sense should have prevailed too proving hubbys innocence because he is on call at work 24/7, any free time its playing golf with friends. He simply wouldn't waste time on exwife to see a witch dr because she has not been relevant to him since the moment divorce was finalised in 2009. 

but the exwife needs to remain relevant. By lying and claiming she fears for his life because he could hurt them and break into her home, she is trying  to keep him relevant to her and tied to her for life. Its classic narc tactics.

he needs to go dead cold on her. Anytime sds mentioned crap about biomum to dad to make her relevant, it was met with dead silence by my husband. It went in ine ear and right out the next ear. Hubby took no notice of what was being said the moment sd's mentioned mummy or stepdad.

in my case exwife is livid as aftermath of divorce she claimed hubby would grow a lonely old man, nobody would want him etc. except he did remarry someone much younger and had 2 kids much better than the 3 she chose to neglect and abandon whilst my husband has always been the sole income earner. So she tried to keep her and their daughters relevant even when they cut off contact for over 5.5 yrs

she couldn't have my husband moving on with life but hubby has made it clear we are his present and future and he is building a life with us, not with skids

justmakingthebest's picture

I can see apologizing for things he did do... Maybe for not always being compromising in the past, or being short with her. But that is all. I would not apologize for anything else!

SeeYouNever's picture

BM must have a mental age of like 8, because what she's asking for is something that kids ask for when they have a little tif between them and expected adult to mediate.

That lawyer is probably laughing all the way to the bank because he's just mediating an immature argument between two people who are willing to pay to pass notes using high paid lawyers as the messengers!

Seriously, "you have to say you're sorry!" What does that have to do with any sort of legal issue? I hope one day she realizes how stupid she looks making these types of demands.

CastleJJ's picture

I think apologizing will only embolden BM to continue this fight. It will make her think she "won," which will lead her to ramp up her allegations and false claims. 

And you and I both know that BF apologizing won't change anything. Maybe BF needs to ask that question before the judge - what will me apologizing do for this case? Will it give me more time with SS, etc? If BM says "No" then it is clear that apologizing is just to appease BM but won't actually change her mind about giving BF more of anything. 

Rags's picture

Far better to rub her nose in the stench of her life's carpet stains every chance she provides. Particularly in court.

Facts... use them.  Keep them front and center.

They are neither good nor are they bad. They are merely facts.  It is the cause of the facts that are either good or bad and even Courts, Lawyers, GALs, etc..., at least some of them, are capable of recgnizing where the cause resides.  

No appologies. Not only no, but hell not. Particularly in response to the stench emanated by the likes of this BM.


strugglingSM's picture

This sort of juvenile request so reminds me of the BM over here. She once accused DH of "never saying anything nice" about her...maybe because he never said anything about her. She admitted that she said mean things about DH, but then said she always said "please and thank you" as if that somehow counted for something...the kicker being that she didn't even say please and thank you. 

There's some weird HCBM playbook out there where these women think that if they make some big show about being the victim people will believe them (and the sad thing is that a lot of people do believe them). 

I agree with the above posts that your BF should not apologize...or if he does apologize for things he's actually done, not the things BM claims he's done. 

Thumper's picture

Gotta stop falling for the family court game called :

IF you do THIS it will show the court THAT

Think about how many times you have heard your lawyer say "If you do this, It will show the court that you,  blah blah blah "

stop playing that game. It truely does not matter. 






CLove's picture

Its part and parcel of the victimology playbook.

Theres nothing to be a victim over? Fine Ill make something up, push some buttons...