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The Big lie continues

Shieldmaiden's picture

Dh and I got ambushed last night. I fully believe it was a planned attack by the three SD's. When the harpy twins SD16 and SD18, screamed accusations and insults at me a few weeks ago, one of the questions that SD asked me was "If SD21 wanted to come over for holidays, would you be willing to let her?" I told her that is up to SD21. She has had 6 years to apologize and sit down to talk with me about her behavior (that led to her choosing to live with her mom.)  SD16 tried to make it about me, and I shut her down, saying that SD21 has had plenty of time to own up to her actions and she has chosen not to.   

When I heard SD16 mention SD21, my spidey sense told me that SD21 might be behind some of these "verbal abuse" accusations they were trying to lay at mt feet. Funny, since i literally was unable to say anything to them due to DH not wanting to spook them into running to mommee's house for good. So, DH had a terrible day. His pita of a boss called HR on him about something piddly, and is trying to get him fired. I have been telling DH for almost a year that it would come to this, and that he should be looking for another job so he can tell this guy to go F*** himself. Dh is in a bad mood, and I am coughing up a lung from the flu. Dh gets a phone call from ....SD21. SD21 just wanted to tell him that her aunt, who is invited to our Thanksgiving dinner, "invited her to come to our house for Thanksgiving." DH says "Well, if that is true then your aunt overstepped her bounds. You are not coming to Thanksgiving."

SD21 says, "But I'm your daughter! Why?!" He says, you have had 6 years to make it right with Sheildmaiden, and you chose not to.'SD21 then says "Well, SHE is the one who slammed my head in a freezer door when i was 14. I have gotten over it. Why can't SHE?" 

DH says "I was there, and that NEVER happened. If you want to arrange to talk to her, then that's fine. Right now, she is sicker than a dog, so its not a good time." 

Meanwhile, I am incredulous to hear this lie come out of her mouth, after I have heard her sisters repeat this lie, and I was pretty sure she was the source of it, but wasn't sure if it was her or BM.  DH excused himself and hung up. DH and I got into a fight. I finally said "Time out DH. Do you realize we have both been ambushed? We have allowed ourselves to be manipulated into a fight because SD21 decided its convenient for her to come to Thanksgiving and invite herself?" DH agreed. We agreed to stand strong against SD21, and that she will not be at our Thanksgiving. DH promised to hold the line for me. I promised myself that I may need to get a restraining order if she shows up. 

Wow. Just wow. I can;t believe the nerve of this girl. Where does she get off telling lies about me and inviting herself to my house? Now the younger two SD's want to show up at 6 pm for leftovers. This weekend is their weekend to ruin my life for 2 days, so I am hoping all will go well. I am so done with entertaining these two twats and their entitled, lying sack of crap older sister. Sorry. I just had to rant. DH may be heading into a deep depression, based on his listless face this morning. I don't need this right now. I am home from work today due to the flu, but can't rest because I have to clean this house before company comes over.


Kaylee's picture

1. You are sick with flu and your hubby is spiralling downwards with depression. Cancel the company! 

2. Take the bull by the horns and state to your H that the SDs can't come over this weekend - you are both unwell and need time and space to rest. 

These adult stepchildren are making your lives hell.  

Yesterdays's picture

Agree. Just cancel it ALL. Cause screw all that $hit. Then have a relaxing night with your husband instead. 

Survivingstephell's picture

Random thoughts about your situation.

 I see a big ultimatum coming your way.  Just how much more abuse are you supposed to tolerate?  These skids don't love  their father. They were never taught.  It seems to have ramped up ten fold this fall. What is behind it all?   Figure that out and you might find your solution.  Hubby will have to chose for himself peace or drama.  He can't continue to have them both. It's unhealthy is so many ways.  

My DH had to let go of his 3 estranged kids.  It was a process but accepting the reality of who they truly are and not looking at them thru daddy rose glasses was key.   They too were brought up with similar attitudes planted by BM.  I had my own kids to raise and I had put my foot down about keeping their drama away from my peace filled home.  For their sake.  

I don't see how you can continue on this road with these girls.  They bring nothing worth keeping to the table.  Keep disengaging and let daddy feel the full force of this dysfunction.   You can't fix this.  You can carve out a life away from it.  Let them exhaust him and he might just join you.  Painful to watch but so worth it in the end.  Btdt. 

notsobad's picture

"not looking at them thru daddy rose glasses was key."

I read somewhere that it's impossible to see red flags when you are wearing rose coloured glasses.

thinkthrice's picture

To have her over to make her fantasy come true i.e. actually slam her head in the freezer.

 They never give up the narrative.   It would mean admitting their whole life has been a lie and they're not willing to do that.

 Hope you feel better I had the same cold flu cough thing.   The cough takes quite a while to go away.

Stepdrama2020's picture

SLAM HER HEAD IN THE FREEZER   LOL figuratively of course. You made me laugh.

OP these twats should never darken your doorstep again. They are killing you and DH (figuratively of course)

Hun never expect reason from the unreasonable.

Get well and cancel TG. Too much drama before they have set foot in the door. 

thinkthrice's picture

Figuratively.   Give her something to cry about as my parents would say. 

Yesterdays's picture

I would stick to my guns about SD 21 not coming over. She's STILL lying about a serious allegation. Toward you. False. Don't allow her until amends are made. Don't allow anyone else to override that. You have the right to set that boundary. She isn't allowed over. End of story! Anyone who doesn't like it, too bad, too sad. 

Yesterdays's picture

Those kids are all testing you and DH, big time. Stay united and strong. As you've realized. Don't allow them to conquer and divide you. They can all act respectfully or not come around. I know your husband is worried about them not coming over any longer. But also.. That doesn't mean they can come over and disrespect everyone and make false accusations and act horribly. They still need to behave well or they can stay away. You have that right no matter how someone tries to guilt you 

dragonfly878's picture

They have absolutely no interest in moving on productively. IDK if your DH can see it? Sounds like he can with the oldest, but not the younger two? I think it's great how he supported you with his oldest- will he draw the same line with the terrible twins? 

Do not allow a beat down guilt ridden DH to force you into an uncomfortable situation with the problems that he created/allowed with his mini wives. It begins and ends with him.

shamds's picture

Crap stressful day at work and skid pathetic behavioural issues piling up and not changing and he snaps- enough is enough!! Then he finally starts telling them what needs to change and follows through on it.

Lets them know they made choices and actions have consequences and they need to own up to it. 

that bad choices have rightfully distanced ourselves from them and we don't intend of destroying the harmony in our family unit, home and marriage to tolerate their crap anymore and should they choose to continue this behaviour, it means they won't be welcome into our home and family and will be lonely since their bio mum abandoned them.