Opinions appreciated...Adult "Child" insurance...
Sorry, I know this will be long, but let me give you some background information first.
SD21 lived with SO and I for months and wreaked havoc on our relationship. She was rude and hateful to not only her father, but to me and my children. She ended up throwing one of her tantrums two months ago, and moved out. Her tantrum was over something so stupid that I'm embarrassed to even share it. However, she lied to BM, her sisters, my friends, SO's family, the whole damn community that we had locked her out of the house. That she had banged and screamed at the door, in the rain, and the whole family walked back and forth in front of the door and would look at her and laugh. This was just ONE of the ridiculous lies. It never happened.
SO has always tried to help her out when he could, but drew the first line when it came to her car insurance after she had lied to him about a wreck she had been in. He almost completely dropped her car insurance then, but knew she couldn't afford it because she's in college and always broke. He kept the liability, but couldn't afford collision. Well, three days after he paid off her car, she totaled it. Granny gave SD21 her old car to drive in the meantime, but with her driving record, he couldn't afford even liability for her. He told her that would be her responsibility. Of course, BM started paying it for her.
Four under-age drinking tickets later, BM is the saint because she's paying for all of SD21's fines, court costs, and attorney fees. And mean daddy only helped her out with the first time. Didn't learn your lesson after the first time? Or the second? Come on.
So, SD21 has stormed off to live with her saintly mother and starts to attack her daddy and I (and my kids) on FB and Twitter (sperm donor, asshole, psycho bitch, replacement kids....) from her cell phone. Which mean daddy pays for. He's had this issue with her before, and told her that she is NOT to use a device that he pays for to trash us. So he immediately had her phone disconnected. SD21 called him immediately from her sister's phone and screamed that he was dead to her. And they haven't spoken since. Well, guess who's paying for her cell phone now? BM...yes.
Oh, I guess I should mention that he has two other daughters, SD14 and SD16 that live with BM. He pays $800 a month in child support, which he has taken directly out of his check (HIS choice, not court-mandated) to go directly to BM. He also covers their health insurance, which SD21 is also on. There is NOTHING in the court papers about support for SD21. He is not required to do anything for her.
Funny, after SD21 moves back in with BM, and BM starts taking care of her cell phone and other expenses, BM calls SO wanting more child support money because she says she can't afford SD16's cell phone and car insurance. Um, no bitch, you can. You just can't afford lazy, entitled adult daughter's expenses. Why don't you say what you REALLY mean?
Well, next month, he has to go to court for a child support hearing. BM now wants $400 more a month. He commented a couple of days ago, that if that happens, he is going to drop SD21 off of his health insurance. His enrollment renewal also comes up next month, so....
I reminded him that the policy is "Self and children"....the cost doesn't matter whether he has two children or twenty. If he drops SD21, he's not going to be saving any money. His response was that he is "dead to" SD21 and he feels like she and BM are always conspiring and conniving. He said he's done doing ANYTHING for anyone who just wants to hurt him. Is this wrong? Just plain mean? Or justified? I know if he DOES drop her, we will have hell to pay from her and BM. Ugh. I don't know how to advise him on this.