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Life sucks.

savemysanity's picture

So I've been around here a few weeks. Lurked for a few weeks before that. I've just realized that my forum topics kind of disappear into never-neverland. I need to blog, anyhow. Writing releases so much tension for me.

Yeah, I'm the evil stepmom of 3SDs, 21, 16, 14. Nice to meet all of you hateful b****es. I'm just going to copy and past some of this from a comment I made on a forum topic, because, honestly, I'm just too lazy to type it again. This is how evil I truly am. BM called yesterday saying she was going to take SO back to court for more child support money because she couldn't afford SD16's car insurance AND SKs cell phones. Well, SO's vehicle has been broken down all summer, and we don't have the money to fix it. He's been using my car to get back and forth to work, which my car couldn't pass the state inspection because the two back tires are bald. So, actually, this means my tags are dead at this point. THEN, yesterday afternoon, one of the back tires went flat. Now we are riding on a spare. Oh, and yeah, his vehicle is a 1998, and mine has over 200,000 miles on it. But SD16 has a 2011 car that SO PAID FOR. The courts have deemed that his children cost $400 a month (per child= $800), while my children are only worth $300 a month, each. I don't argue that (no need to) but DAMN, for the first three years, he paid child support (ALWAYS on time, set it up to come right out of his check...BM is paid CS before ANYONE else...fine with me, it needs to be that way, support the kids you help make). He also paid her mortgage up until BM got married this summer, and paid for SD21's car (which she totaled), and car insurance for SD21 (until she lied to him and his insurance tripled...he still paid liability until she totaled the car), mind you, NOTHING about SD21 was in the divorce papers. He helped her with rent when he could, while she was going to college, helped her purchase text books, paid for ALL THREE SKS cell phones (which he didn't have to do), he also made BM's car payment for 15 months (agreed to in divorce papers, he fulfilled it) and pays for all of the SKs health and dental insurance, plus 70% of any medical/dental bills. He told BM about a year ago that he couldn't do the cell phones anymore, that she could use child support for that. Continued to pay for SD21s cell phone until she called me cussing about her dad, "What the f*** is his problem?" (Uh, no....brat.) Then used it to blast us all over FB. Not to mention that I have used MY children's CS money to give her for gas to get back and forth to class, only to find out she wasn't going to class at all, and used her financial aid money to take a trip to Panama Beach during Spring Break and purchase $400 worth of Victoria's Secret bathing suits. (What a hard life this poor child has.) AND has had four underage drinking tickets (three within 9 weeks) and was ticked at us because we wouldn't pay the fines and attorney fees. Sweet BM did, though, no worries. And now BM is paying for SD21's cell phone, too. So she can't afford it ALL...so we are going to court, I guess.

But, you have to understand what a crazy BM I am, also. (Did I say how nice it is to meet you?) My ex-husband and I, honestly, adore each other. Our marriage just didn't work. We just weren't meant to be together, and were both miserable. Miserable mommy = miserable children. We co-parent very well. He's a good daddy, a good guy. I had a single friend that I thought was a good woman, and the two of them started dating. Good! Great!!!! Oh, wait...she starts flipping on me. WTF? Hateful texts, FB statuses about me....she "friends" my SD21 and SO's ex-wife on FB...um, no, woman, you will not go near my kids. If you are going to try to cause trouble in my life, I WILL protect my kids from your hatred of me. Ex-husband agrees with me and breaks it off with her. She has now made it her favorite pastime to stalk me. No, really. She knows when my SO is at work, she knows where my youngest child is at a mutual friend's house and she "coincidentally" shows up there. She knows when this mutual friend is at my house, and actually sent a text to mutual friend yesterday while she was here, saying, "Tell your BFF that she and I are going to have a girls' night REAL SOON."

Ummm....I'm wigging and out of wine. Dammit.

Happy weekend, y'all!!!

Comments

ltman's picture

Crazy bitches come from anywhere. Be careful. So what does have a girl's night mean?

savemysanity's picture

Tell me how you would take it. I live in a relatively small community. She is EVERYWHERE I go. I went to get gas yesterday, and she pulls up to another pump, sits there on her cell phone, but NEVER gets gas. I then go to the grocery store. She comes into the grocery store. Thirty minutes later, while mutual friend is at my house she texts that. Just like I said, notice the caps, "REAL SOON". My SO is working a midnight shift for the next five nights. I'm feeling a little threatened. : / Maybe paranoid? Maybe psycho, like she has everyone on FB thinking. I don't know.

savemysanity's picture

I hope so, too. We are really struggling. I honestly think she's going to get screwed if she takes him to court. HER attorney drew up the separation agreement, it was agreed to by both parties and signed and over with two years ago. HIS finances haven't changed. Hers has. She's making, probably close to $10K more a year since signing the agreement. AND she's gotten remarried, so her household expenses shouldn't cost as much (even though I doubt a court cares about that). I think she's trying to kiss SD21's a$$ and pay everything for her using CS meant for the minor children. She didn't complain about money until SD21 moved back in with her. Oh, well, SO told her, "Do what you gotta do." We're hoping to call her bluff this time. Not to mention that we are paying back a $29,000 loan SO took out to keep her from losing her house and car during the first year they had separated; they weren't living together, but he didn't take her name off the bank accounts. She had always been in charge of paying the bills (probably why they had to file bankruptcy ten years ago) and he knew she would need his income to keep paying the bills until a legal agreement had been made. I love him, but he's a dumba**. She didn't pay a damn thing for MONTHS. He found out when her car was repossessed and his kids started texting him, telling him how horrible he was, and how dare he. How dare he WHAT??? Geez....he had no clue, but took care of it. Still paying on that loan. And will for two more years.

BellevueFalls89's picture

You almost need a restraining order against that woman. And I've heard you should document everything which is something I need to do. Something court-worthy. There's only a few more years of child support at least! I'd say at least start counting down so you have something exciting to look forward to Smile

savemysanity's picture

A friend of mine came by last night while I was having a breakdown, and when I told her the whole story, she called the police. I knew what the outcome would be, that's why I didn't call. Basically, the officer said she'd actually have to do bodily harm to me before they'd do anything. So, until SO gets off of the midnight shift, I'm sleeping by the door with a butcher knife. (I'm not kidding. I told you I was a crazy BM.) I'll gut her and then hang her by her own freaking intestines. (ewww...sorry, that was the wine talking.)

Oh, and yeah, we thought we could look forward to not paying BM's mortgage anymore. One month after she remarries, she needs more child support. I'm not sure if I have it in me to look forward to ANYTHING anymore.

JEEMudder's picture

Welcome! That was an excellent read! Looking forward to more craziness, because as we all know, we have signed ourselves up for a lifetimes worth! Blum 3

savemysanity's picture

Ten years from now, she'll be the hero, and SO will still be a POS. Right? I think that's the pattern I'm seeing here. However, we are disengaging, and at times, it seems to be getting easier. I just hate that SO feels like a failure as a father, because he sees how hateful and spoiled his children really are. I just tell him that maybe he worked too much to support their material wants while they were growing up and they were influenced too much by BM. lol.

SteelRose's picture

My xh used to stalk me in person and on line. Still might, but I ignore. He also used to go to the kids schools and spread incorrect rumors about me to the staff/teachers. I talked to my attorney once about how to stop him and he said xh could take out full page ads on me and it's not illegal. I wanted to take him to court on slander, but even with all that I would not have enough to build a case.

Now after years I ignore and most school staff and court staff know my xh, he has a nasty reputation b/c he took me to court so many times for such piddly things.

As far as Child support, the courts are not going to do much unless there is significant change in incomes and house hold expenses, and it sounds like in your case your SO would be favored!!

savemysanity's picture

The laws in my state (I looked it up) are pretty clear that what she is doing is illegal, it just seems kind of strange that the police, attorneys, and courts don't care to enforce it. Maybe I've just watched one too many Lifetime movies, but I've been really nervous the past week. I think I could ignore it a little better if I wasn't here alone with the kids at night. But hell, honestly, that's stupid of me. My boys are bigger than I am now, why do I still feel like I'M the one that would actually be physically protecting THEM? Mama Bear syndrome never goes away, no matter how big they get, does it? *Sigh*