Staying in marriage
I wonder why do I stay in my marriage even though my 5 step boys resent me because of their father not in the picture, no child support. My doesnt i feel push for it even though she says she does. They dad don't do anything and they get mad at me for not doing enough for them as what they see. Like getting them stuff they want not need. From the oldest 16 to the youngest 10. My daughter 7 they get jealous of if she got new things or extra food. They start getting on her for petty stuff. And my wife, I feel doesn't be consistent with disciplining them. She will talk to them here and there then it gets out of control again with the step boys but not enough form of discipline like take games away for a week or no tv such. I have mentioned to her about what we can do for discipline for ways to help them but she doesn't listen to what I have to say. So my question is the one above and what and ways I can disengage from all this? Any pointer tips can help thank you.
Your first priority is to
Your first priority is to provide your own daughter a safe, stable and loving home. That comes before your desire to have a romantic partner.. before the needs of your romantic partner's children.
Your SO also has an obligation to do the same for her children.. and her ex should be paying to support his kids and be in their lives as a father. The fact that he isn't means those kids are relying totally on mom. Is she capable on her own to provide this support?
Because you are not obligated to support her children. if she expects that? then that is likely a problem. you are looking at 10 years at least of having her children resent your preference of your own child.. that they don't have a father.. i'm not sure it could be worth it honestly...
It would be difficult for her to do so. As if I was to leave she would use refund from taxes to cover until she figure something out. As far as the ex goes he has a court order to pay but hasn't because he been getting paid under the table. And she mentioned to me that she reported it but nothing hasn't happened in the matter. He lives with his girlfriend and her children and call her kids his, but don't see his own nor the time which is absurd. So I believe I will save up money and then go on from there, I am at my ends with this.
Maybe it's time somebody
Maybe it's time somebody alerted the IRS ...
I shoud contact the irs lol. My wife told me not to talk to her about whats going on with their dad when i bring him up into topic why he need to pay for his kids. I don't know why I keep allowing myself to feel obligated to helping my blended family or hard to let go, even though i may feel bad about it. Maybe it's a guilty conscious or feeling that the family would fall apart. I've asked myself this many times but can't seem to find it or let go. We file taxes together in Jan. And nothing still comes from his end for his kids, and his kids are upset at him for not giving them what they want instead of what they need. Or not asking him why he is not present in their lives. Just wants stuff like games, computers laptops devices you name it. I never went my way to giving them this stuff. They have to earn it. So far nope. Lol. My wife sometimes let them get what they want if they bitch and moan about anything. So I always get pissed at her for that. I ended up hitting one of the kids for talking back and pushing me first. And she got mad and told me not to hit them. She got on him for his mouth amd told him not to do it again. So he did it again next day and so on. And i told her and she got mad at me for not handling it. She come home and didn't deal with it. Act like nothing happend.
If the child support was
If the child support was court ordered, your wife should be going after her ex legally for non-payment and backlying payment. Why isn't she? And if it wasn't court ordered, it's never too late to fix that. Either way, you should not be paying for another man's children...
I'd say the best way of
I'd say the best way of disengagingfrom all this (I've just read over your past posts) is to move out with your daughter. By all means, remain married, continue to spend time with your wife, but do not live with her rude and unpleasant kids. You are constantly disrespected in your own home, your wife doesn't have your back, you are treated like an outsider and your daughter gets bullied. Nope, can't see another way out (barring divorce, of course) and it's very much time you put your daughter first, don't you think?
Sit down with a sheet of paper and write down all the good things about living with them, then turn it over and write down all the bad things about living with them. So which list is longest?
Thank you. I will take the suggestion of writing down. I don't think I need to because it's many negative stuff out weighing the pros.
You need to take your own daughter and leave this shit show.