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This bothers me- YSD's selfies on DH's phone

zerostepdrama's picture

When DH and I first got together, I noticed that YSD and MSD played on his phone a lot. At the time he didnt have a "smart phone" so it's not like he had FB on it, or games, etc. I didnt like it for the fact that he and I would send "private" texts and it bothered me that they could be reading it.

Plus I felt like he was giving them access to something that they really dont need access to. Other then to use the phone to call someone, if their own phone doesnt work. Why do they want to be on his phone? The only interesting thing would be to look at his pics or read his texts and neither should be something they are looking at.

Fast foward, there are a lot of texts on DH's phone that I wouldnt want the skids to see. Not only "private" but also stuff that I have said about the skids to DH.

DH will take pics of random stuff throughout his day. I like looking at these pics, just to get a peak in his day to day life. Also he takes a lot of pics of my BS involved in stuff. So I have access to his phone and if I am bored, I will look at the photo gallery and see what pics he has taken.

Well the other day I go to look at his pics and there are like 10 selfie pics of YSD. :sick: I am assuming she took them last time she was with DH. He was on call for that week and had to run and do a job. I am assuming he left her in the car with his phone and she had access to it.

I dont want to look at her face. I dont want to look at her "duck lips" picture, her "I'm a gangsta" picture, "I'm shy and innocent" picture. NONE.

DH took pics of BS yesterday at wrestling. I go to look at the pics and am instantly annoyed that all those pics are there. I want to delete them. (would that be awful?)

I guess I just feel annoyed, something that I access and use and used to enjoy looking at the pics now have all these selfies of YSD.

Petty I know... still annoying to me......

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

I totally understand.... SD15 used to take DHs phone, supposedly because she couldn't get on the internet on her phone, which made no sense since we all had the same carrier at the time... but whatever.

anyway one day, DH was going through his pics with me and there were all these selfies of SD as well as pics of her stupid little friends. I was like why the hell do you have pics on YOUR phone of SDs friends? for some reason that just creeped me out. DH said it was because SD had taken his phone a couple of times when hers wasn't working and took some pictures. I mean it wasn't like they were pictures of them winning an Olympic gold medal or something they were just random stupid pics... why did she feel the need to put them on HIS phone? I viewed it as marking her territory and weird... but of course I got the Wicked, Jealous, Step Witch of the Year Award for voicing those concerns....

zerostepdrama's picture

Yeah I feel that way a little too. But I feel like she is stepping on my territory. She took the pics, now what? It's not like she forwarded them to her phone or uploaded them to FB. As if her Dad wants to look at pics of her making all those faces.

twoviewpoints's picture

"I want to delete them. (would that be awful?)"

Yes. This is his phone. He uses it to take pics of your son. Great. He also takes or allows skids to take pics and put on/leave on his phone. I will assume since he takes daily pics of whatever, that he is well aware of the pics of YSD being on there. How would you feel if he got in your phone and decided to selectively edit your photos?

As this is DH allowing his kids to play around with his phone, he obviously doesn't have a problem with them doing so> Now if they were sneaking his phone and weren't suppose to be , you caught them say while Dad was down the hallway and you stepped in from the kitchen? Then I could see you speaking up to Dad that the skids on messing on his phone. But that isn't what is happening.

IMO you'll come across as a petty control freak , trying to control something that isn't even yours to control, if you start deleting DH's stored phone stuff. I get that's not why you want to do it, but it is indeed the way DH might 'take' it.

zerostepdrama's picture

I agree!

My only reason for wanting to delete them is so I dont have to look at her stupid face. LOL. I know, I know not very nice. But that is the only reason. And I would be upset if DH felt that way about my BS.

oneoffour's picture

Well if it doesn't annoy him it shouldn't annoy you. Think of it this way... he gets to see pictures of his daughter (being a prize fool, I agree). But it is his phone and he can do whatever he wants with it. Just as you can do whatever you want with yours.... like this.

The next time he sends a naughty message or something personal either tell him you will talk about it later or ignore it. Ignoring it may be better. Then when he raises the topic later just tell him the truth. You are sorry but you cannot chat with him via his cell phone any longer as his daughters use his phone and it would be wrong for them to see your messages. He will deny it/ tell you he deletes it/ whatever. Then you tell him that he may think he does but you have found them looking through his phone. As long as the phone is his own source of family photos that can be added to by anyone then you cannot text him about private matters.

Yes, it is intruding and restricting you to how to communicate with your husband but you cannot in all honesty tell him not to allow his daughter to use his cell phone even if her photos make you want to throw up. It is his daughter and if his lasting memories are to be ugly photos well then that is what he gets. And he loses the ability to exchange personal intimate messages with you.

I think once he loses the ability to chat with you during the day he will call a halt to his daughters using his phone.

zerostepdrama's picture

Agree!

zerostepdrama's picture

Yes they have their own phones.... I think it's a territory thing. Or they think DH wants to look at their pretty faces Wink

It's more so YSD then MSD.

luchay's picture

Yep - I agree, it's them marking their territory.

SD13 does it too. She has the latest model iphone, an ipod, an ipad - access to cameras and the net all over the shop in other words.

She will still "borrow" OH's crappy little phone every chance she gets - yes he does his facebook on their - but it's nowhere near an iphone.

And takes about 3000 duckfaced selfies a day.

There are NO photo's of me on there.

One day I was on FB and noticed a new status from OH "I am awesome!"

I knew he was driving, and had the skids. So I called him and asked if SD had his phone by any chance? He said yes, she needed to access her FB urgently (???) I told him she was on HIS facebook posting statuses as him.

Previously I have told him I was not happy with him allowing her to use his phone as we also have "private" messages (and there used to be some naughty pics of me) So, he deleted my pics, and we don't message on that phone anymore Sad But we do still have a lot of messages on FB and raunchy messing around.

I went off on him, about how she had access to all sorts of areas of our RS etc. He "had a chat" with her....

She still uses his phone all the time.

Pisses me off no end. *I* get deleted so that she can play? FML

zerostepdrama's picture

Um I would be pissed. Why is she even on his phone when it sounds like she has her own top of the line phone.