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Thoughts on SS15 behavior

Mia2Desarbo's picture

Ok thoughts on this...SS15 sleeps ALL day and gets up between 4pm and 9pm stays up all night either playing video games or watching UTUBE videos about video games. Then goes to sleep between 5am to 9am.
Now SS15 loves video games Obviously but will do other things if DH or I offer and Initiate to join in. Meaning SS15 is like a 4 year old who can't Initiate anything himself. SS15 will go for a walk BUT only if DH joins him. SS15 will go outside and "play" but only if DH comes too. SS15 will watch tv/movies but only if DH watches with him. SS15 has few to no friends but really wants friends but he never makes the first move. There are lots of teens in our neighborhood but SS15 would NEVER think to just walk around and make friends. Like I said he's like a 4 year old that wants to be entertained and if no one can "play" with SS15 he falls back to video games. Video games are literally the only think SS15 can do alone. 

Now both DH and I work full time and have other Responsibilities so we can't be SS15 24/7 entertainment. So thoughts on WTF would cause a 15 yr old to be so unmotivated and lack Imagination/Initiative to find his own entertainment besides video games? 

Winterglow's picture

In your previous post, you said he had been diagnosed with depression. What you describe would seem compatible with that. 

ESMOD's picture

I am assuming you are both out of the home but have SS15 there while you are gone?

My first instinct is that allowing him to virtually reset his clock to a total night owl is not a good idea. it will be tough to acclimate back when school starts.  Dad needs to establish some rules for his son.

1.  Kid gets up in the AM when you both do.. he is up and dressed before you leave the house.  

2.  Since he is such a poor "self starter".. I would consider leaving him with a list of chores to be done... and maybe even have the wifi router turned off until he texts current pictures of himself in front of the completed projects.. 

3.  I think looking into some kind of summer activity would be a good idea.. volunteer activity?  sport summer stuff? maybe a church camp thing? etc?

4.  If you know your neighbors with kids his age.. perhaps set up some opportunities for him to meet these kids.. invite a few families over for grilling.. or set up a trip to a local fair.. or festival? maybe once the introductions are made.. the kids will be more likely to meet up?

5.  Kid needs to hear expectations that he is basicaly up and awake during the day.. and reasonable lights out for a 15 year old of 11 or 12 oclock.  wifi off and phone surrendered if necessary.. his dad is being lazy by not being more proactive about this.  I know he works and can't be there during the day.. but he can still text or call and give the kid direction even while on the job.. in most places (unless he is an air traffic controller..haha)

6.  editing to add/ask since I saw the other comment about his depression.. has there been any update on his general diagnosis/medication/therapy?  someone who is depressed would act like this.. so it's not necessarily a teen only issue.  does he have friends at school?  does he live with you during school?  even if the kids in the neighborhood aren't his friends.. any way to set up things with the kids from school that are his buddies. invite them on a weekend even..?


Kaylee's picture

Personally, I can't stand gaming and think, from a health perspective it can be very harmful. Many, many people are addicted and it can interfere severely with activities of daily living.

I don't have any specific suggestions for you but you have received some good advice from other posters.

dragonfly878's picture

My SS14 is the exact same way minus the sleep/gaming. To be honest I almost WISH he were into gaming because it would be something age appropriate... he's 14 going on 5 socially/maturity... it's ROUGH. He's always up DH's ass... sprints to greet him at the door when he gets home from work. I'd expect that from my toddler not the teen.