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OMFG…Just when I thought it could not get WORSE

Mia2Desarbo's picture

This goes with my last post "turncoat” SS…WTF just happened???!"" So read that first to fully understand 

So not only is SS15 a turncoat but a trader also. SS15 informed both BM and therapist DH AND I were the ones to turn SS15 against BM. DH and I just AGREED with SS15 what BM did to SS15 was wrong and backed SS15. So NOT only did we waste $$$ Attorney fees fighting BM for full custody something SS15 ASKED us to do but now dealing with the Out lash from what SS15 told BM and therapist. SS15 NOW wants to live 50/50 between BM/DH and the therapist is recommending "family therapy" for BM/DH and SS15. BM is having a FIELD DAY blaiming DH and I for ALL of SS15 "problems" and Threatening DH with court if we don't agree to her rules regarding SS15. 

SS15 gets all pissy/ tight lipped and won't talk to DH about WHY SS15 did/said what he did. Honestly I want to strangle the little bastard. 

AlmostGone834's picture

I stand behind what I previously said. From having him full-time to 50/50 is a win in my opinion. I would encourage him to have BM file for full custody. CS is a small price to pay to have them out of your house. 

Survivingstephell's picture

Yep, let his mother have him full time and enjoy the peace in your home.  DH can take him out for a cheap meal here and there until he ages out.  

This is what BM wants:  attention, revenge, control.  Cut her puppet strings and stop the show.  If she can wash her hands of him and dump this toxic boy on you two, then DH can too and make the relationship with SS on DH's terms. There is no pain like a kid betraying you.  DH needs to take control back.  BM can't fight with someone who won't fight.  NCP have a choice about exercising visitation, she can't force him.  

Have you thought about moving away , far enough so another dump of SS would be next to impossible??   

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

This is a win for you. I would even push it as far as going 80/20 or 90/10 if possible. Why want someone like that at your home. He should be with his mother full time. CS will be paid regardless of being 50/50 or not, its based on income not time spent at your home.

CLove's picture

It sounds like he really just loves his mom and hes being a hormonal teen that has no idea what he actually wants and it changes with every moment.

Id document everything possible and dont let the BM bully DH into giving into all her whims.

Ive seen stepkids really waffle and get brainwashed by BMs

Someoneelse's picture

This exactly!  You say that ss and BM got into a big fight and tagged BM's house, including a computer. Did ss do this or BM? And is this according to ss? Or is this factual knowledge? According to sd, our last total meltdown, i stood over her and was yelling at her while she was huddled in the ground. I was scaring the crap out of her.  I stayed seated and did not raise my voice at her at all... 


Ss was probably looking for sympathy, saw DH was willing to bend over backwards, and let him say and do anything... saw BM and then realized how much he misses her and wants to go back home

Harry's picture

therapist Get paid by the hour. The more you are at the therapist more they make.  SS is lost, not a good person. Will never care about you.  So just give  up,  save your money for fun times. Without SS.  Then wasting money on SS.  
When you get old  and sick. SS wound give a sh*t. 

ESMOD's picture

So what are her rules?  are they rules that make sense given the kid's behavior?  as I said on the other post.. I sure hope that your DH let his kid know that destroying his mom's home and posessions was unacceptable behavior and was punished for that.

Or.. maybe your DH was happy that his kid was choosing him "for once" instead of BM.. and he let that feeling lull him into a false sense of security as far as what his kid's feelings were about his EX.  

I know my DH's kids would come over and complain about their mom.. that she was "going off" on them when they didn't clean their rooms.. and that she was mean.. whatever..

We 100% always told them.. it's her job to get you to clean your rooms.. it was also a matter of respect for their mom's boyfriend.. who was providing them a place to live.. and that they owed it to him to not treat it like a pig sty (and these girls could be messy).  So.. we would at least back their mom up on what she was trying to accomplish.

and it sounds like with this kid.. restricting computer use was probably a good thing to try to do.. so I would have mirrored the restriction at your home.. so that his kid couldn't opinion shop his parents into the one that was being more permissive got his loyalty.

Rags's picture

Then go for her throat.  Time for this kid to see mommy simpering in front of a judge while her nose is scrubbed in the stench of every sordid fact regarding her crap.  

If daddy ends up in COd failed family therapy, he needs to dominate that process by forcing the faces of both BM and the failed family spawn in the plugged up toilet browl of all of the facts regarding what they both have pulled.  You are three years from the end of this whole shit show.  Make it painful for the opposition by making them wallow in the stench of the crap they have created.

Have fun!