BM won but still rubs it in
The past weekend was father's day and SD sent DH a text mid day. Very formal "Happy Father's Day I hope the day finds you well love you miss you." Her birthday is next week so she's been a bit more responsive this month because she's angling for a new iPhone. DH has told her no on that so she's dropped off talking to him again. He tried to call a few times father's day weekend, no answer.
Today BM texts DH "I just thought you should know that yesterday your daughter graduated with honors if you want to congratulate her. She got 15 awards and will be taking all honors classes in high school next year. She is also admitted into this a special program that is only for 15 out of 200 students. I am going to be signing her up for some summer programs more information to follow." I have to give it to SD and BM they're both very professional when I'm talking to DH...
To be perfectly honest, and I am probably going to seem kind of snotty, being in special programs and taking honors classes is pretty much the norm and expected if you live in an afluent area and don't have any behavioral issues or learning disabilities. BM has put SD in special programs before and basically they will take whoever is willing to pay to be in them. SD is not dumb but BM is trying to make DH feel bad as if she is made all these accomplishments no thanks to him. BM signed up SD for so many extracurriculars and had the age pay half of all of them so her guilt trip making it seem like SD accomplished all of this without his help didn't quite hit the way she thought it would.
My response was it would have been nice to know about that before the ceremony. My DH agreed and that was that. I'm very happy that he doesn't fall for these carefully crafted guilt trips anymore. I'm sure he still feels bad but both BM and SD have had ample time to tell DH about this if they wanted. He asks SD about school every time he talks to her but that's usually when she wants to hang up because as soon as the conversation deviates from pleasantries and what he can buy her she's done talking.
What does BM want at this point? She won she has been successful in alienating SD from her dad and completely shoving him out of her life. He still pays for whatever extra SD needs. She's got his money without any of his involvement isn't that what she wants? Is she just guilt tripping him because she is going to ask for a hefty sum for summer programs? Or does she just want to rub in her victory?