Contempt of Court, Finally!
At risk of being a blog hog, I had to share that this dumpster fire of a week continues with maximum drama, and we don't even have skids this week.
Crazy has been at a 10/10 with her insane messages to DH on OFW. It really escalated the past 6 months. The other day she demanded he do something and then called him an idiot. At least 2-3 times a week she sends messages saying he/we are terrible parents, he doesn't care about skids and "makes them stay in their rooms or go play outside by themselves instead of spending time with them", and they feel "so sad at our house" because DH just doesn't pay any attention to them and he chooses "other people" over them, that "SD is right, she will never have a relationship with you because you don't care". DH actually printed the messages last night and he hadn't told me about half of what she had written- it is constant criticism and harassment. She clearly doesn't care about the communication guidelines we created for OFW (no excessive communication, it must be professional, no bashing, and can only be about 3 topics, which are basically emergencies or Dr. appt's) and doesn't think he will ever do anything about it, even though we specifically had it included that violation of the guidelines could result in contempt of court. I've been telling him for a while that this is out of control and not sustainable- It is SO frustrating, and reminiscent of when DH and I first started dating and she was nonstop texting nasty things and I was ready to bail on the whole thing.
Yesterday DH was looking for a therapist for SD after her "I want to kill myself" statement, and he grudgingly sent Crazy a message to let her know. Her response was that him "yelling at SD in the car yesterday was very damaging and he chose someone else over SD", and that she "heard from someone close to DH that he's known about this for a while", and SD needs to be in therapy immediately. Um....SS told me on Sunday night that SD makes statements at Crazy's house all the time about wanting to kill herself (this is the first time she's said it around DH), but Crazy has never tried to find her a therapist or done anything about it. And in her trying to make DH look bad by saying she heard he's "known about it for a while", she actually makes herself look bad also, because she's saying she knew also. I just can't. DH had to get a referral from SD's primary physician for a therapist, and he got that last night. This morning while trying to schedule the appt, they said they needed verbal permission from Crazy also...so they called her, called DH back, and in that conversation he found out that when they called Crazy ONLY for permission, she scheduled an appt. with some random therapist (DH did lots of research and found one that specializes in youths, and is a younger woman SD would more likely relate to/open up to). She just wanted to be able to tell SD "I scheduled an appt. for you", but she didn't schedule it until NOVEMBER! DH made an appt. with the psychologist he found for August and canceled her November one.
Anyway, yesterday when he tried to send a professional message about SD being suicidal to Crazy and how he was looking for a therapist, and she couldn't even keep that professional and unleashed on him, DH only replied "This is the last straw- see you in court". She replied "No response needed". *lol* Literally the dumbest person I've ever encountered...
So, DH is serious, has filled out the Contempt of Court paperwork, printed all of the messages from OFW showing she initiates constant communication that is harassing, aggressive, not within the guidelines whatsoever, and he is also going to include the texts from SS when she kicked them out in Dec and Jan and SS said this isn't a stable environment, and that she made them delete all pics/videos of me from their phones (CO clearly states no speaking poorly of SM or any of their family).
My question is, I know that CoC can be hard to win or get a judge to do anything about, and we need to show specific examples, keep it concise and not just say "she always does this"....but what else? Anyone have experience with this and how to best get it to work? What about punishments? Should we have ideas of what we want to see happen, or does a Judge just make a determination? Ideas on what could happen? We honestly just want her to stop with the criticism, constant messages, and harassment, stop trying to PAS the kids (I know this one may not happen), and have some peace, and at this point are willing to try it because we have no other options and this just cannot be the way it is for 5+ more years.