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I can’t go to jail, I can’t go to jail

TrueNorth77's picture

This is my mantra after one too many messages on OFW from Crazy today, and I'm about ready to catch a charge just for the satisfaction of throat-punching her. DH and her were going back and forth about SD's Ortho/Dr appts and who would take her to which. Because Crazy is, well, literally the dumbest person I know, she was trying to tell DH SHE would be taking SD to her ortho appt on OUR week, and DH would be taking SD to her Dr appt. On Crazy's week. does that make sense?? Each parent is supposed to be responsible for appts on their own time. Except, DH takes SD to many extra appts on Crazy's time, if he is the one that made the appt. Anyway, eventually, Crazy says they should reschedule both appts (WHY?? They each are able to take her to the appts on their weeks, she is just being difficult and trying to get DH to do what she wants. 
Then she has the nerve to say "Why doesn't your wife Ever take SD to an appt? She claims to be Involved in their life, but she has never taken her once".

WHAT. This is the same woman who lost her mind when I tried to show SD how to use a tampon when Crazy refused because SD wanted fo go swimming with us and had her period. "She is MY daughter, Truenorth77 is not her mom"! She has told the skids I'm an alcoholic, did drugs, was homeless, had a foreclosure, was previously married and my ex had a restraining order on me. All of which are 100% false. Called me fat, ugly, a beast, a giant, called CPS on me, and the list goes on and on. And now you think I should help YOU?? DH wasn't going to reply and I usually encourage him to gray rock her, but I was just fuming. I know she is a sad, jealous little troll, but the nerve to suggest it's fine for me to be an Uber when it saves her from having to take off work? No. Nope. So I made DH respond. He said "She is not going to do anything that helps relieve you of your responsibilities after all of the nasty lies you have vomited. I am done with this ridiculous conversation". But of course she wrote back, a large paragraph with all kinds of crap about me, which DH didnt tell me and I didn't press for details. He just told me she said I looked at her Tik Tok and "she took a screenshot every time". Great! What will that get you? I looked twice to see if new videos of SD were posted. Ok and also so my friends and I could make fun of her.  Apparently my privacy settings were not what I thought they were. So now I just blocked her. 
DH did not respond to that one.

I have never hated someone so much, which I also hate, because she is the only person on my hate list. 


thinkthrice's picture

Cake eater syndrome.   They want SM to absorb 100% responsibility with 0% authority.  You can finance the skid(s), become Bank of SM, become the holy failed first family's laundress, chauffeur, maid, cook, admin asst. but don't you dare usurp their authority by establishing rules and boundaries. 

justmakingthebest's picture

For the appointments I would highlight a calendar on whose weeks are whose and write the appointments on there. Send the picture with "Because this is so hard for you to figure out, if the appointment is on a "Yellow" week- you take her. If it is on a "Green" week, we take her. 

As for the rest, she is dumb, insecure, unmannered and just in general a horrible person. She isn't worth that throat punch... even though it would feel AMAZING! You are grace and class and will rise above her. Let her talk and be a child on tiktok. Let her play that bitter BM shit. 

Just remember, resentment only hurts you. She doesn't care. This has been a hard lesson for me and when I catch myself going down a rabbit hole of emotions, I just have to take all of those feeling out of it. Here are the facts: X,Y,Z. This is the problem, this is how we can resolve it, move on. I have to work on it every day but it is really freeing to let it roll of my back. 

TrueNorth77's picture

You are so right. I wish I knew how to not let her take up any space in my head, especially with resentment. I think blocking her will actually help. I have never encountered anyone as hateful or awful as her, so it baffles me that people can be like that. I need to remember it's her, not me, and she does not deserve to take any of my happiness or peace. Part of me is glad DH didn't tell me all that she wrote in her last message, because I may have just gotten a posse together. We ride at dawn! *blum3*

advice.only2's picture

Tik-Tok sucks in that the user can choose to see who has viewed their page.  Which is why I have never looked at Spawn or Meth Mouth's Tik-Toks, so just beware for future.  Also Crazy can go suck a raw egg for being just a heinous cow.

TrueNorth77's picture

I told DH she can f*ck all the way off and eat a whole bag of d*cks as she's doing it, but I was also in a mood.  *blum3*  

I had actually set my account so that I couldn't see who looked at my profile, and they couldn't see if I looked at theirs. But I think maybe there was an update that re-set it, because both DH and mine were set to view who looked at yours/vice-versa, and we didn't realize it. Lesson learned! DH suggested I just block her and I liked that idea- I wasn't sure why I really cared before, it was always just annoying to see her multiple vomit-inducing comments on every tik tok SD posts about how beautiful/wonderful/awesome her "baby girl" was followed by 50 emoji's (you know, social media mom). This will be wayyy more peaceful. 

round2's picture

BM did this to me as well. I was a child abuser, horrible to her baby, blah blah blah. While SD was going though treatments for her eating disorder (that my insurance covered) she demanded I take on part of the appointments because they were three times per week and she needed to work. Nope, not happening. The appointments were individual and family therapy and my attendance as her driver would not have moved the recovery forward. Her parents needed to be there. 

SD18 is now in college and we proposed that we trade years carrying her on health insurance and she refuses. If I dont carry her she wont have coverage. (DH job doesnt offer insurance). She even called SD18 and told her that I was being selfish and that she will not be covering her. How is this my responsibility???


TrueNorth77's picture

Imagine having the kind of mind that thinks that is rational. Putting equal or more responsibility on a SP, for YOUR kid. When I made DH respond, he was just going to say something along the lines of "She will not be doing anything to lessen your responsibility"....but I had him add the part about after how she's treated me. Because Crazy thinks she can treat people like absolute shit and then demand they do what she wants. She does it to DH all the time. I said, she needs to understand that the reason I will not help is not because I don't want to- it's because I will not be helping her because of the way she has treated me. 

It probably didn't get through because she's an idiot, but it sounds like your BM is similar, if she's calling you selfish for not providing insurance for HER daughter........

notsobad's picture

“Well, I think if they win, I should get all the credit, And if they lose, I should not be blamed at all. But it will probably be just the opposite.”

This is the BM mantra, from another crazy narcissist.

AllIsFairInLoveAndWar's picture

She sounds aweful. Why is it that the HCBM's always get bent out of shape about us SM's doing the things for their kids that they wouldnt? Remember to take deep breathes, she can only disrupt your inner peace if you let her. also, lots of making fun with freinds, its good for the soul sometimes Biggrin


TrueNorth77's picture

My new goal is to not let her disrupt my inner peace. But absolutely still make fun of her with friends on occasion. Lol