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Primarymom's picture

My SS is 7 years old now. We have bonded so much in the past two years. I met him when he was 3 years old.

His Bio mom decided to move states Jan 2021. She chose not to fight for custody. She sees my SS for 6 weeks in the summer. She was supposed to have him in Nov 2021 for thanksgiving but she didnt. She is pregnant and having a second child with her new husband. I believe is she due April 2022 or May 2022. I figured maybe she didnt want to travel now that she is pregnant and financially. Well my husband asked her to start sending $$ in sep 2021. She did for Sep, Oct, and Nov. Then she has stopped. His birthday was in Feb and she said she didnt have money to send him a present. She doesn't ask for him either. Calls once a week maybe. Ever since he came back in Aug 2021 from visiting her she has only asked me twice about him. One pic of him in his halloween costume and a few weeks ago to send a pic again. I used to send her updates and pictures before. But I stopped because when I needed to talk to her she would say she was busy. So I figured I was going to let her ask about her son instead of me trying to reach out to her. Sometimes I feel guilty not giving her any updates. But I think it should be up to her?

She was also supposed to have him for spring break. Yet, I know he told my SS she will see him in the summer. I didn't even ask if she was going to have him over for spring break. For thanksgiving i had to ask her two weeks before because she had said yes she was going to pick him up but didnt. I hate how inconsistent she is. She is not good at keeping her word. Very frustrating!


JRI's picture

I hope your DH goes to court and gets the child support, custody and everything else nailed down.  You guys deserve it.

I feel sorry for the little boy but he's lucky he has you.  If you read around on here, you'll see many stories of kindly stepmoms who have stepped in, like you have, only to have their family life upset when biomom decided to come back in the picture.  That's why its so important to get things resolved legally.

Best luck to you.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Yup. Never reward bad behavior. Get a court order for support, even if it's inputed at minimum wage. No way should you be okay with contributing your money and emotional labor to raising someone else's child while BM gets a free pass.

grannyd's picture

Yup, here comes yon cowbird again. Drops her egg in your nest and then, intermittently, flies in to claim MOTY status and disrupt the stable life that you and your husband have created for her lad. This type of selfish, narcissistic mother is repellent to me. 

Worse still, is the criticism that society launches against the stepmother who is sacrificing her own wants and needs to love and raise the abandoned child of an ASSHOLE! 

grannyd must pause now to fan her overheated self. At 77 years old, my tolerance for assholiness and irresponsibility is lagging....