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SD Death Threat

thisisus's picture

I have a stepmom friend who has an evil adult SD. She actually threatened to kill her to her face. She handled it much better than I would have. I honestly would have said, "Please try, so I can take you down first." I would have called the police and filed charges against her. That SD has to be mentally ill because no sane person would threaten another humans life. Mental illness runs in the family and the adult SD is a spoiled brat. I knew sharing this would sicken many but make a lot of you feel better. At least our lives have not been threatened. 

There's still no improvements with my own SD. Still submarined in another world. But, for those who have great relationships with their DHs, letting them know what could happen with a spoiled SD where there are no boundaries may help someone stand up to them. It's all excuses and divorce guilt until someone actually gets hurt. 

Please pray for my friend who was verbally attacked. I doubt the psycho SD would actually follow through with her threat and did it only for dramatic purposes. However, she needs to be in a hospital room with padded walls and no sharp objects. 

That SD has also said things to my friend like.. 

"You are nothing to our family."

"My dad will always choose me over you."

"I can break you up anytime I want." 

and of course the death threat... 

The bottom line is if your DH refuses to protect you, you must leave. My friend is not leaving, unfortunately. So, she lives a life of danger and emotional abuse. 

The SD isn't ignorant. I'm confident it was only to make a scene. She knows if she ever killed a person she would lose her children, inheritance and spend her life behind bars. But, still, insane words hurt. Until DHs start taking this seriously, stepmoms are in danger. 

I'm thankful for the support of this group. We are stronger im numbers. 


tog redux's picture

How did your friend handle it? I hope she got the police involved. Never assume someone won't act on a threat like that. 

thisisus's picture

I was not made aware of the situation until weeks after it happened. I would have called the police myself had I known when it happened. Her SD is completely insane. My friend is older and I am sure feels trapped. But, excuses were made for her SD like she didn't mean it, she was upset and overacted, etc. I could never feel comfortable or safe again in that situation. I wish there was a movie with A list celebs that showed this type of abuse of stepmoms. Maybe then people would be aware and do something proactive about this type of abuse. It makes me sick. 

24 years as a SM's picture

Hopefully your friend's husband sees his daughter for what she is and does everything possible to protect your friend. If not, your friend needs to leave or tell him to leave.

For over 25 years, I have put up with an evil SD. If you read my blogs, you will see that a lot of the problem is the DAH(Dumb A$$ Husband) for not parenting the SD and being a guilty Disney Dad. It took me years and this site to finally grown a spine and stand up for myself 4 years ago. I never thought that my SD39(Leech) would ever become physically violent, but she did, I now have a restraining order against her. My DAH has my back 100% and will not tolerate any of SD39's crap. My SD39 showed her true colors, while my DAH was away, but made a major mistake of attacking me with other people witnessing her hitting me.

In my situation I would not be the person moving out, this is my house that I inherited from my father. Since the last big blow up with SD39, DAH has finally opened his eyes to what his daughter truly has become. SD39 is nothing but a selfish, entitled evil person. Yes, there are mental issues with SD39, but these are self inflicted by using illegal drugs and who know what else. My DAH's biggest concern was for SGD11, while SD39 had custody, DAH was at a loss of how to protect SGD11. This all came to a head and SGD11 now lives with her father and is safe from SD39 evil self.

Thumper's picture

What are YOU going to do with this info?

I will be blunt, you ARE required to report to authorities. LET police handle it. They have resources including brining in mental health etc. 

Frankly I have no problem with praying. I am a Catholic and I do pray a lot---but this? This is more than family drama, you have been given specific information about a death threat. 






tog redux's picture

That's not true. If the victim doesn't want to report it, no one else is obligated to. 

thisisus's picture

I contacted a fiend of mine who is a local police officer once I found out, weeks later. Unfortunately, they won't do anything unless the person who was threatend files a report themselves. I was not there and did not witness it myself. That's why I can't do anything. Had I witnessed it, I would have made sure that brat got arrested. 

Thumper's picture

Really Tog? 

Poster is not a victim here, she is prevy to information that SHE was given. THAT information was a death threat. And you think she should not report it,,,,what?

Holy moly.





tog redux's picture

What I said was that she isn't OBLIGATED to report it, she won't get in trouble if she doesn't. People on here seem to believe there is a legal obligation to report something like this, and there isn't.

Also,no one should take the control away from the person receiving the threat. What if she doesn't want to report it?  What if reporting it causes her SD to kill her? What if reporting it brings about the end of her marriage? What if it causes SD to kill herself? The OP's friend is a competent adult I assume. If she wants to report it, she can. It's not the OP's place to report it. The friend needs to decide what's best in her situation.

Now if the threat was made to the OP and not to her friend, she should tell her friend. Do you really think she should go to the police and report something her friend has chosen not to report? Would you be okay with someone making that decision for you if you decided not to report something?

These situations are tricky and the friend should make the best decision for herself. 

thisisus's picture

I wish I could do something. I really do. If I had witnessed it myself, I would have whether my friend wanted me to or not. She chose not to file a report. I'm sure she wanted to save her relationship and bury it. It's beyond sick. I honestly think that her psycho SD would have loved for her to file a report because it could have potentially ended the relationship. AND, that's what she wants. I'm sure DH would make it all go away somehow. I took the opportunity to have a conversation with my own DH about it. I told him if that ever happened to me with my SD, I would immediately call the police and file charges. He agreed. When you let these horrible people get away with this behavior, they never learn and they get worse. I would never in a million years tolerate that abuse. 

MrC's picture

Please don't take this death threat lightly. More often than not, it starts with a threat and escalates. 

Your friend is in danger and needs help. Urgently. 

advice.only2's picture

Family and friends used to make fun of me for being afraid of Meth Mouth and even Spawn.  I was told I was overly dramatic and that they would never do anything to hurt me.  Well let's see Meth Mouth runs with drug dealers/gangs...nope no worries there.  She broke down her second exes door and beat him with a tire iron....nah nothing to be worried about.  She was pulled over with a gun under her seat...yeah no worries all is well.  Spawn likes to post on social media that if the purge was real she would off me first...but you know I'm just being overly dramatic.  I have learned if somebody is threatening you take it seriously.  Don't let anybody gaslight you into excusing that behaviour. I really hope your friend does something about this because honestly that's just the first step.