Bratty McBratFace's Best Tips for Mailing a Gift
Father's Day is coming up soon! For those of you who may be sending gifts to Dads, or for those expecting gifts from children (step or otherwise), here is a tutorial courtesy of Bratty McBratFace on the most, um, interesting way to send your gifts.
Now, what most people would do is to get a card, sign it, put it in a box with a gift. Then go to the post office (or UPS store, whatever) and pay the required postage. All set, the post office will do the rest and the receiving Dad will gleefully open his box, read his card, and admire his shiny new gift.
But why be so boring? Be more like Bratty McBratFace and do this instead:
Step 1 - Get a card, sign it, and mail it seperately. Make sure the card is sent a month early in May for Father's Day, which is June 20th. This way, everyone in the household will run and check the date in a panic in case they had slipped into a month-long coma by accident. Hahahaha - joke's on them, isn't that hysterical?!?!
Step 2 - Get a gift that truly reflects the inner narcissist within you - one that is all about you. For example, go to your company's store and get a sweatshirt from there. That way everyone will know your obscure company whenever your Dad wears his gear.
Step 3 - Package the gift seperately from the card, and make sure this gift also arrives unexpectedly two weeks before Father's Day. What a surprise, bet Dad wasn't expecting that!
Step 4 - When mailing the package, instead of just going to the post office, find a book of stamps. Place the entire book of stamps individually on the box, at least 18 or so. Then take that box to the post office anyway - and if the 18 stamps are not enough, don't fret! You can still wait in line and the post office will print you a label for the 15 cents that you're short in order to mail the package.
Step 5 - Wait for your praise when Dad receives his month-early card and two-weeks-early gift. Because narcs love praise!!!
There you have it, gentlepeople (very non-gender-binary, by the way) - the Better Way to Send Your Father's Day gifts courtesy of Brattty McBratFace!