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Bratty McBratFace's Best Tips for Mailing a Gift

caninelover's picture

Father's Day is coming up soon!  For those of you who may be sending gifts to Dads, or for those expecting gifts from children (step or otherwise), here is a tutorial courtesy of Bratty McBratFace on the most, um, interesting way to send your gifts.

Now, what most people would do is to get a card, sign it, put it in a box with a gift.  Then go to the post office (or UPS store, whatever) and pay the required postage.  All set, the post office will do the rest and the receiving Dad will gleefully open his box, read his card, and admire his shiny new gift.

But why be so boring?  Be more like Bratty McBratFace and do this instead:

Step 1 - Get a card, sign it, and mail it seperately.  Make sure the card is sent a month early in May for Father's Day, which is June 20th.  This way, everyone in the household will run and check the date in a panic in case they had slipped into a month-long coma by accident.  Hahahaha - joke's on them, isn't that hysterical?!?!

Step 2 - Get a gift that truly reflects the inner narcissist within you - one that is all about you.  For example, go to your company's store and get a sweatshirt from there.  That way everyone will know your obscure company whenever your Dad wears his gear.

Step 3 - Package the gift seperately from the card, and make sure this gift also arrives unexpectedly two weeks before Father's Day.  What a surprise, bet Dad wasn't expecting that!

Step 4 - When mailing the package, instead of just going to the post office, find a book of stamps.  Place the entire book of stamps individually on the box, at least 18 or so.  Then take that box to the post office anyway - and if the 18 stamps are not enough, don't fret!  You can still wait in line and the post office will print you a label for the 15 cents that you're short in order to mail the package.

Step 5 - Wait for your praise when Dad receives his month-early card and two-weeks-early gift.  Because narcs love praise!!!

There you have it, gentlepeople (very non-gender-binary, by the way) - the Better Way to Send Your Father's Day gifts courtesy of Brattty McBratFace!


advice.only2's picture

I needed a laugh this morning, so thank you for sharing this story. Does DH just shake his head and mutter softly "Bratty oh Bratty?"

caninelover's picture

He was like, oh wow, this card is early LOL.  Then when the package came he did say 'I wonder why Bratty put all these stamps on the box'...

I got a good laugh from it all.  So typical of Bratty.

caninelover's picture

'Didn't want it to be late...'  

She lives in the same state and packages rarely take more than a week.  A card would be 2-3 days tops.

Ispofacto's picture

She prolly got the sweatshirt for free.  My company sends us free crap all the time.  We also get credits to buy more crap in our company store, at a substantial discount.

Why the hate?  Your DH should be proud she secured a job at the enviable Boston Market.


caninelover's picture

Boston Market wouldn't hire her - she would secretly eat all the food and then blame them for making it.

Yeah that's what I thought too - free or discount.  Plus she bought a big fleece sweatshirt - at the start of summer LOL.  

justmakingthebest's picture

I guess at least she sent him something. I can't get SS to respond to me when I offer to do the buying of gifts for DH. 

She is something else though!

caninelover's picture

When she was punishing him for not making me let her keep her room in our house she didn't get him anything except a very curt text on Father's Day.

So yes, I am glad she sent him something, even though it was in her typical nutty fashion.

Stepdrama2020's picture

Thanks for the tips Bratty. SMH  Only Bratty would thunk this shite up.

One year ex snotfaced SD gave daddio a mug with her pic on it. Yes, but not any pic it was one where she was seductively smiling with a very low cut shirt. Daddio was so happy, he loved that mug. He told me he wasnt taking it to work cause all of his co workers would be jealous. 

Very sick indeed.

caninelover's picture

That mug...ew ew ew ew ew....

MissK03's picture

The stamps... LOLLL. Like a 3 year old plastering stickers everywhere.

Bratty will always be my fav. 

caninelover's picture

Since she had to go to the post office anyway, why not just pay the required fee at one time instead of all those stamps?

ndc's picture

Well, she's a step ahead of some of the kids I read about on ST, who think gift giving with dad is a one way street and couldn't even be bothered to get him a card. I laughed at the stamps, though. She might have had enough if she didn't mail the card separately!

caninelover's picture

The episode where Susan (George's fiance) dies after licking stamps for their wedding invitations.  The box from Bratty with all those stamps reminded me of that episode hahahaha