How do I move on from these hateful feelings?
DH and I recently took his BM to mediation in order to get their dated stipulation to match what we currently are doing. Unfortunately BM and her husband took it badly and came for blood. We intended for it to just be a quick change but more was changed then we anticipated. The biggest change was our child support payments. BM has made the mistake in the past of telling DH that she doesn't need our payments and that they just go towards their house. Regardless she just recently started working full time at $14/hr(from previously being SAHM). But my DH makes $30/hr as a factory worker with rediculous hours that he absolutely despises. The big hiccup is that her husband makes $100k+/yr and all they do is spend money frivolously. I mean who wouldn't when with our child support she now makes close to $70k and our portion is already tax deducted. I understand that her husbands income has nothing to do with the child support and we can't fight it. There's nothing we can do except accept it. I am really having trouble with this. After the recent uptick in payments the SDs (twin 10yo) come home telling us that BM bought a gaudy new vehicle. Of course I can't help but roll my eyes but I put on a face for the girls' sake. How do you cope with these feelings? I hate that my DHs hard earned money goes to someone who doesn't use it for its purpose. Who laughs in our face when we just want to go on about our lives. I can't help but hate her fucking guts. I want to be strong for these girls but omg... I have so much hate built up from this. Is there a light at the end of this incredibly black tunnel?