easier than a stepmum. Its not a definite but its pretty much guaranteed stepmums are rarely accepted well as seen as the trashy whore who stole daddy from bio mum even if they met for the first time years after the divorce was finalized..

bio mum ould have been cheating and married her lover a week after divorce was final and skids are taught he is the new daddy but stepmum, she’s the trashy whore!!

Men expect women to come in and take over parenting, and women seem to feel they should do that - that seems less common in men. IMO, it's a byproduct of our society still expecting women to be the primary parent.

Your SO is a lax parent and he's excusing it by saying "you would be too," but that's probably not true, it just makes him feel better.

The having to remind a kid to do stuff isn't really the issue, the issue is that she argues about it, which says that he doesn't enforce his expectations with consequences.

So you have to beat her at her at her game.  Make up a chart display it in the kitchen .  Brush teeth, take a shower. No jumping.  Ect.  If she break the rules  .  one hour with out electrons , for each rule broken or something.  Can't forget if it right in front of her. 

I think that being a StepDad is inherrently easier than being an SM because BM's are far more supportive of their spouse than BioDad's seem to be.

The dynamic in a subsequent marriage following a failed family marriage injects an element of guilt far more firmly in men than in women.  For whatever reason.  It may be that men far more often than not are the NCP and have some soul wrenching change due to not being with their children as frequently as tends to be the case for BMs following the dissolution of the failed family.

BMs being far more frequently the CP may become numb to the irritating crap perpetrated by their children while dad and his wife have a refresh of the irritating crap every time the kid arrives for periodic visitation.  

I think a lot of it also comes down to gender roles. In our society, moms are still expected to be the primary caretaker and dads are "babysitting" when they watch the kids. This carries over to SMs. As the female in the family, they are often expected to be the caretaker. Of course, they are also expected to be cognizant of BM's feelings. She, after all, is the poor, defenseless victim of any divorce (regardless of its circumstances) and everyone - but most especially the SM - needs to accommodate her. I think SMs are also often expected to make up for the "trauma" that CoDs experience, because again, as the resident female, they are the maternal / feeling ones in the family and also because they are interlopers and therefore, must grovel properly to the needs of the poor defenseless children. Stepfathers on the other hand, are often the saviors, stepping in to replace the deadbeat dad who abandoned the poor defenseless, single mother (again regardless of how the divorce came about) and her traumatized children. How this "mother mythology" has held on so long, despite much evidence to the contrary in many areas of life, is beyond me, but it sticks and I think that makes it harder for SMs. 

My SD is the exact  same and she is almost 13. DH says nothing when she jumps on the furniture and never stops talking.

My kids wouldn't dream of jumping on furniture and they talk on and on i just tell them to be quiet. Lol

I think most dads are riddled with guilt and parent like complete idiots....and most moms are no riddled with guilt and parent normally.

Biodads can't even be consistent with their own biokids. My DH is much stricter with our 10 month old daughter than his 12 year old daughter. He says he doesn't want her to have to same bad habits as SD. 

It's not about bio or step, it's about parental guilt making them a weak parent.