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i'm sure this question has been asked, but...

FutureSM's picture

Do some of you dislike your stepkids just because they are a constant reminder of BM or Biodad? Sometimes I feel like that's how my stepmom felt about me growing up, and I don't really blame her...just wondering...thanks!!!

FutureSM

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lostinwisc's picture

Very rarely, sometimes they will do or say something that is very BM, but it's not their fault, it's human nature to do what you know. If I start to get irritated I remove myself for a little bit or send them off to do something else.

kaffonseca's picture

I don't dislike him at all..he is two..loves me to death and is the cutest little thing..BUT everytime I know he is coming I get tense and kind of grouchy only cuz' he reminds me that BM is in the picture and WILL be for a VERY long time. Right before pickup and after dropoff I get bitchy but when he is here I'm fine.

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

melis070179's picture

That last line was good.

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

Angel's picture

his kids at all. They are "slow" to mature---that is hard to deal with. The 25 year old girl acts like a 17 year old Valley Girl that should have been named Meme because it is all about her, the 17 year old man/child acts like he is 12---he doesn't misbehave he just "exists". The 27 year old is starting to mature and is quite delightful. I am hoping that the other two will grow into their own. I don't know the biomom but maybe if I did it would make a difference.

Amazed's picture

sense of mini-exbeast stalking around my home in the form of an 11yr old... I don't dislike snowshyte because she looks like her mother...I dislike snowshyte a lot because she adopts the behavior of her bm that are bad, ie.treating dad like atm rather than dad.

"We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”

Jbee27's picture

I just dislike him half the time because he's a spoiled rotten brat.
SS8 really doesn't like his mother (and I wouldn't either if I was him) and doesn't want much to do with her. So, really in no way does he remind/look like/or act like her.

melis070179's picture

I think there are many people here that are HARDER on their SKs because they come from BM, or they are simply not their kids. SS is not my DHs bio kid, so I don't see him as an extention of DH, so BM is my only option. LUCKILY he's a decent kid. If he was a brat, it be much harder for me. But he looks like BM, obviously no physical relation to DH, so thats a little hard. I don't think he's a cute kid whatsoever, and is way overweight, which is another pet peeve of mine (obese children). Its really not the kid some people don't like, its what they represent. If the kid is a brat, THEN its the kid they don't like. But yes, I think there are some here that don't like the SKs around simply for what they represent. I can think of a few.

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

Rags's picture

than he does his BioDad. He looks identical to his BioDad but we get comments fairly regularly how he looks like me. We just smile, nod and say thanks. We also get regular comments on how much he looks like his Mom.

I think the resemblance to me is due to some of my mannerisms that he has picked up since he was 15mos old.

Regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)

Joy101378's picture

because he reminds me of BM. Sometimes the way she lets him act towards her (and thus the way he sometimes acts around US) makes me pretty antsy. He's 5, and pretty cute, but he's imperious as hell. "Mommy, get me a drink." He freakin' COMMANDS her to do stuff, and she totally lets him get away with it, so he tries it with DH and I as well. So when I get irritated with SS it's because of how she lets him behave.

EvilDiva's picture

SD14 looks just like BM and it grates on my nerves. She is also not H's biokid which makes it harder because I don't see any of H in her. She also has a lot of mental issues and while she is sweet, she is also a manipulator and a liar. So for me it is a combo of her looking just like BM, not being H's biokid and her having a myriad of mental issues.

Evil Diva