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BM can do it, but it's the end of the world if I even mention her keeping HER daughter.

SteppingUp's picture

Now that DH is working retail hours, he isn't home some nights during the week. Which means it's me with SD6, SS4, and our BS on the weeks we have the skids (on nights he works late). A couple of months ago, DH asked BM if she'd be willing to keep SD6 on those nights, to make it easier for me. She threw a huge fit about it -- she doesn't want to separate the kids, she doesn't think it's right that I don't "want" SD6, etc, blah blah blah SteppingUp is such a bad person for even wanting this to happen. Of course she refuses to see the part about how is it MY responsibility to be taking SD6, when she has two bio parents available -- BM and SD's biodad? The point in us still taking her was so that she could reamin to have a relationship with the "daddy" that has raised her -- my DH! Why am I sitting around being a free babysitter so BM can have a night off? So what has been happening is that every week, DH tells BM his schedule and she has been keeping BOTH kids those nights -- it's all just to spite us and to make herself look like she's such a good mommy.

Mind you, SS6 goes to her bio dads every other weekend, the same weekend we have SS4. So they are separated at that time. That is what happens when you have 2 kids with 2 different dads....they get separated!!!!

---Side note: we discovered in the stipulation for SS4 that now that I'm DH's spouse, I have rights to have him on our nights, even if DH isn't around. We haven't "fought" her about this yet but it's in the back of our minds next time she tries to take SS4 from us on our night.---

So on Monday night, SD6 says to us, "I'm not coming to your house on Tuesdays anymore." This was news to us! And yes, it's true. At 4pm on Tuesday, BM finally tells DH that SD is goign to her biodads on Tuesdays now.

This is a GREAT thing -- we're glad that biodad is stepping in more often. This is what we've wanted to happen.

The part that is driving me NUTS and I totally want to say something to BM is that -- "OHHHH, it's okay for YOU to separate the kids, when it's YOUR decision, but god forbid I ask for a little help and ask you to keep YOUR daughter for a night, when she's not even mine or DH's!!!!"

UGH!

Oh yeah let's get this part right --- now that biodad is taking SD6 an extra day every other week, that means that BM has SD4 only 14 days out of the month. That's under half the month! Why shoudl she be paid child support??? ARG!

I rEALLY hope that some day biodad asks us to help him in his court case.

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SteppingUp's picture

Oh, and I just figured out some mathematics according to our state's rules. Extended Visitation means anywhere between 60 and 164 nights a year. So BM will now have SD6 only 154 nights a year. So her "custody" shouldn't even be called full custody! It should be called extended visitation! WE have SD6 more than she does!

I almost want to email that information to biodad, because I'm guessing he doesn't really know that. But that'd obviously be overstepping big time....