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Spent the weekend just the 4 of us. (OT)

Rags's picture

For the first time since 2010.  Mom, Dad, me and my younger brother.  No kids and no wives.

It was nice.  My SIL and youngest Nephew were at home in Asia, the rest of the GrandSpawn were doing their thing where they live, (Dallas, CO, Germany) and my bride was visiting her family for the Adoption hearing/celebration of our two newest nieces (twin 9yos).

We had a very nice time together.  I really did win the parent and brother lottery.  I am a fortunate guy.

So........ dad's meeting with the  Surgical Urologic Oncologist was Monday afternoon.  The last appointment of the day so the surgeon could spend as much time as necessary with my dad, and my mom... and my brother.... and I.  All of us were there.

He opened witih "Well, its not too bad." I guess if you have to have a meeting with a Urology Sugical Oncologist that is about as good as the appointment can start.

Initially my brother did not like the Doc's demeanor.  I was find with it. I would rather have this type of conversation be personable and lively rather than somber and all X's and O's.  But... baby bro (49) warmed to the doctor over the more than an hour we spent discussing dad's biopsy results and treatment options.  I am happy that ultimately my brother was put at ease and found some comfort in the way the Doctor is working with dad.  I was 6 when mom and dad brought the kid home from the hospital.  He has been my BFF and special charge ever since.  When I see him I still see the happy energetic tow headed toddler that stole my heart nearly 50 years ago though I do not miss him whacking me over the head with his miniature Lousville Slugger wooden bat when I was napping on the sofa.  .  My brother is a wonderful man.

In a nut shell, dad can choose either 8wks of radiation or removal of his prostate.  My dad being hyper "engineeric" (as my XW used to refer to him) opted for immediate removal of his prostate rather than 8wks of radiation followed by 2 years of biannual biopcies. In dad's mind (and the Doc agreed) if the problem is prostate cancer then removing the prostate removes the problem.  The only caveat is if the Doc finds any spread of cancer to surrounding tissue when he is in removing the prostate.  Which according to the Doc is extremely unlinkely but can be treated with radiation if that is the case.  If dad opted for radiation rather than removal there would be no way of knowing if all of the cancer is dealt with or if it will return. No long term incontenance or reduced sexual function other than "dry orgasms" after a few weeks of recovery and PT for abdominal muscle control and strengthening ("keggles for men").  My mom was happy to hear about that part.  Mom and dad are very active apparently.  And.... watching her sister change my Uncle's diapers several times a day drove home the point with mom that she does not want to be changing my dad's diapers. Not that he would allow her to if he were to have to wear them.  The Doc said there will likely be some leakage until dad is finished with a few weeks of recovery. Dad was relived about that.  He is a proud man. Dribbling when he pees is not something he would take very well.

Surgery will likely be scheduled for early to mid Jan 2020.  Interestingly the Doc told dad that if there was something he had planned that they could push the surgery to March-April.  Dad wanted to do it now.  The Doc's lack of urgency on getting it done right away made an impression on dad.  The Doc won't do surgery within 6wks of the biopsy so based on that the absolute earliest that he could do it would be Dec 30. Which won't happen due to the Holidays so 8wks post biopsy is pretty quick ... apparently.

Forcast life expectancy post surgery (barring any spreading/reoccurance which is rare) 10-15 years.   The Doc was very impressed with my extremely fit highly toned 77yo dad.  Mr. work out is doing himself proud.  And I am proud of him.

Not a bad forecast for a 77yo man.  It looks like I will have my dad until I am approaching 70 myself. In all likelihood I will be in a retirement home with my mother.  The women in her clan all have made 90+ with several knocking on the door to 100.

Christmas for the Rags clan came early this year. I would have given up my two front teeth for this positive path forward for my dad.

I am relieved and very thankful.

Merry SolstaChrismaHannuWanza everyone and Happy Holidays.

Comments

Kes's picture

Good news about your Dad, Rags!  Lets hope surgery goes smoothly and there is no spread. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Great news, Rags! I lost a friend to a particularly aggressive type of prostate cancer two years ago, so it's nice to hear something positive about that awful disease. It seems you've all won the lottery.

Rags's picture

Thanks everyone. I make no secret that I won the Parent lottery.  They are both truly good and inspiring people.  Their love for each other, their commitment, and their family is what my brother and I attempt to immulate in our own marriages and family.

Baby bro isn't too bad either.  He is a good man who I am blessed to have as my nearly life long BFF.

A month or so and we should be into dad's recovery.  I am thinking 2020 should be a pretty good year for the Rags clan.