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Update on HCBM moving

Monique52's picture

So, as I shared on my last post. HCBM sent DH a text last month telling him she was moving 2 hours away the next day she sent the text (no 60 days notification like is stipulated in the CO) 

She proposed to have my SS every other week, which my DH didin't agreed. He went and filed for a change in my SS schedule and they have the court hearing in December.

After she moved to who knows where, becase she hasn't give us her address, we just know the city, My DH has his son in a different schedule than the one they agreed in court and is been driving half way for custody exchange. 

She sent another text yesterday letting my DH knows that she wont be relocating (face palm) well she is already living 2 hours away, so now she will be back this Friday. I'm pretty sure she is just scared my DH will be granted more time with his son and she will loose child support. Right now they have 50/50 and my DH is the residential parent. He is looking for my SS to live with us and visit her everyother weekend due to the lack of stability she offers. She has 3 more kids that she hasn't see in a month and had move 4 (close to be 5 )times in the last 1.5years.

This change seems very odd, since she was very excited about her husband's new job and suddenly she is back...

How can this change affect my DH from obtaining more time?. My SS is not in school just yet, but will be next year and the current schedule just don't work once school starts. They both agreed that she will have him everyother weekend and she will take CS away, but with her moving back, not sure if that will change everything... 


ESMOD's picture

What is the current CO schedule?  That is what I would stick to and hold BM's feet to the fire regarding her location.  As long as she meets all the pickups and drop offs locally..

Next year for school.. kid will be enrolled where you live.  If that means she has to drive 4 hrs a day to get him to school on her days..pffft.. that's her cross to bear. 

If your lawyer is advising you to go forward with a hearing for more custody though.. I would take his advice if it seems reasonable.

Monique52's picture

The current schedule is: she has every Monday (she picks him up from the babysitter at 5:00pm keep in mind she doesn't work) and Tuesday and every other weekend. My DH has him Wednesdays and Thursdays and every other weekend.

Now that she moved DH has him from Wednesdays till Friday following he has more time now becasue she doesn't want to drive. 

Chmmy's picture

BM moved 90 mins away a couple years ago. She had primary custody but now DH does. She gets every weekend but only takes them every other.  She does ALL of the driving because she chose to move.  If DH does any driving it is out of the kindness of his heart. Sometimes we drop them at her place of work which saves her an hour. We live in Illinois. CS from DH stopped and she pays us about 10% of what he paid her. Same deal. Instability and shes an idiot. Now DH has the kids...he's an idiot too but gives them a stable home lol

simifan's picture


My guess, her lawyer told her she would proably lose. DH is already the residential parent & has had majority custody since the move.


ndc's picture

Do you live in a state that defaults to 50/50 custody being in the best interest of the children?  If so, and if BM has moved back and is ready to resume the 5/5/2/2 CO'd schedule, it might not be easy to maintain the status quo.  If you're in a state that defaults to one parent having primary custody with the other having EOWE and perhaps a day during the week, then it's different.  How far from you will BM live once she returns?

Monique52's picture

Yes we do... We don't know how far she will live, she wil stay with her mom until she finds an apartment.