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Thoughts? Oponions? SS hitting

LoriwVT96's picture

SS12 had his annual physical two days ago. My sister is a nurse at the pediatrician SS goes to and happened to be the nurse taking care of him( SS12 knows her well) DH and BM both went to the appointment as they always do. The Dr and BM were taking about SS12 needing a vaccination something SS12 I guess did not know he was going to get. SS12 who is a total whinny baby started to cry and pitch a fit about getting a simple shot. This is a 12 year old. After much drama my sister gave him the shot and BM went to hug him(This is the reason this kid is a baby I would have dragged him out embarrassed if it was my 12 year old) When BM went to hug him SS12 punched her in the shoulder! WHY? Because BM was the one to tell the DR " Lets get the shot done today so its done with". What did BM do when SS12 hit her? NOTHING just backed away and said "ok I won't touch you". Then again as everyone was walking out BM went to put her hand on SS12 back,again to comfort him and he punched her again! Again BM just backed up.

First am I wrong to think a 12 yr should be able to take a normal vaccination without crying and pitching a huge fit???

Second I felt DH should have said something to SS about hitting his mom. Yes BM is a bitch and I would love to hall off and punch her too BUT as SS father I think DH should have stepped in and at least say what SS did was wrong but DH just stood there. Oponions?

Now my sister said it was not a all out punch more half punch/half push. But still SS hit/pushed BM twice.

 

 

Aniki's picture

If BM is okay with being her kid's punching bag, that's on her. Another person pandering to a spoiled brat.

What did your DH say? I would hope he told SS that it is NOT acceptable to hit people. Gads. You'd think the kid was 3.

Rags's picture

Yep.

GoingWicked's picture

If it was more of a push, then as a mom I’d let it go.  My instinct is to hug my boys when they’re upset. As they get older, they push me away, especially in front of other people.  It embarrasses them, they don’t want to look like a little kid.  If they physically hurt me, I let them know that it is definitely NOT ok.

ITB2012's picture

If DS so much as speaks to me rudely in front of XH, XH calls him out immediately.

If your DH isn't going to say anything, I hope the doctor takes them aside to tell them to parent their child. What else is he going to let this kid get away with? Is it okay when he starts hitting you or DH or other kids or adults?

Then again, when my YSS was twelve/thirteen he had to take some pills at the ER. Ten to fifteen minutes of gagging and spitting them out, with applesauce, and juice and crap, and BM said she still gives him liquid meds. DH at least was embarassed and said the nurse rolled her eyes behind BMs back. (And I'll give DH this, he was embarassed enough that YSS spent some time at our house learning to swallow pills--mini m&ms.)

twoviewpoints's picture

Neither parent should be staying in the room for shots when the kid is 12.

Kind of funny kid cries he has to get a shot, but then pushes Mommy away when she reaches out to treat him like a young child that he is acting. Oh no, Mommy don't hug me, I'm too old for that. LOL.

By time my kids got your SS's age,I went in room to talk to dr and for most of exam, but then would leave for waiting room when it came time for nurse to go get vacs and give them. Of course, IMO, kid is going to be a baby if one or both parents are sitting there ready to give him/her sympathy and play it up. 

My mother (nurse in a drs office for part of her career) always told my children, vacs were up to them. Meaning it might hurt/sting a tiny bit, it might not hurt at all , but if you misbehave and/or p*ss the nurse off, it sure will hurt a lot. 

LoriwVT96's picture

SS12 DID NOT punch/push whatever BM because he was embarrassed because she hugged him he was PISSED she agreed with the DR that he needed the shot. How do I know this? I asked SS12 why he hit his mother since DH did not seem to care and this is what SS told me. He was pissed as he was thinking he was not getting a shot but BM had to side with the DR and tell them to go ahead and do it.

Rags's picture

My SS pulled the wailing like he was being killed while getting an injection when he was 8-ish.  He had a horrendous case of bronchitis that oral antibiotics were'nt putting a dent in so the doc ordered a huge shot of thick gooey antibiotic to be administered in his rump.   I get it. That crap hurts. I hated getting shots at that age and I did shed a tear but never did I freak out.  

SS pulled his drawers down around hid knees rolled onto his stomach on the exam table and proceeded to freak out yeally and screaming nd crying "NOooooooo! NOT YET! I DON'T WANNA SHOT!!!  He was kicking and squirming and hitting. I grabbed his legs and layed on his bottom half to hold him down, told the Doc to climb on the top half and the nurse to give him the shot. I swatted him on the rump and told him to knock it off.  The nurse jabbed him the butt.  He was clenching his butt cheeks so tightly she could not push the plunger.  I told her to get it done whatever it took because we were not doing this again.  She had to push the plunger in with the palm of her hand.  The kid howled even more.  As we were leaving the exam room the nurse told SS to take a lollipop.  I gave him the look as he reached for the candy jar. He did not take the lollipop.

As we walked through the waiting room all of the young kid were crying and clinging to their parents over his wailing and screaming..  

When we got out of the door I stopped, turned around and had SS Look at all of the crying kids and told him that he should be embarrassed over his screaming and scarring the crap out of all of the kids.  He got the message that if he never did it again he wouldn't sit for a week. And he never pulled that crap again.

He also never hit either his mom or I.  He did cock his fist back at me once after I intervened when he had gotten in his mom's face.  Flying out the door into a snow drift in the middle of a blizzard without a coat and only one shoe nipped that crap in the bud. He was about 15 when that happened.

This kid pisses me off to no end.  BM should have gone tennis pro on his butt every step to the car for the first time he hit her and if he had done it again that kid would have been in jeopardy of his life if I were BM.  If I were DH I would have lit that kids butt up when he got to my house for hitting his mother.

Grrrrr!

Good luck. With BM and DH this kid is screwed to be an entitled snowflake brat for life.