Who's On First?
Reading a couple posts about kids being "first" this week has me thinking. In general, this has been my experience in Steplife and in observing others caught in Steplife:
Society as a whole: "The kiiidddsss should always be FIRST!!! They were there FIRST and should be put FIRST no matter what!!!"
Random Strangers on the Internet: "The kiiidddssss were there FIRST and should always, ALWAYS be put FIRST!!!!"
Random Strangers Offering Unsolicited Advice out in the World: "Well...you knew he had kids and the kids have to come FIRST!!"
The BM: "My kids come FIRST!!! My kids are always FIRST!!!"
The Skids: "We're the kids!!! We get to come FIRST!!!"
Your DH: "A 'good dad' puts his kids FIRST...right?"
Your Therapist: "You should get used to the idea that his kids will come FIRST."
Your DH's Mom and Sister: "Just don't forget that the kids come FIRST!"
**This Chorus of "The Kids Always Come FIRST" Repeats on a Loop for Years. SM sacrifices her time, money, and other resources on the altar of "The Kids Always Come FIRST" and gets zero recognition for her efforts.**
Exhausted SM: "I have to put myself FIRST for a little while. I have to come first now."
**Collective gasp from the entire world.**
Everyone Else, In Unison: "What kind of selfish, evil person are you??!! First??!! Whatever do you even mean by that? 'Surely there's enough love and attention to go around.' It's not like it's a competition!!!"