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BM wants to compensate fiancé for watching the kids

amodernstepmom's picture

Well here’s a doozy.

BM of SS11 and SS5 pretended she wanted to put the kids in after school care but backtracked when we agreed. Reasoning? She was trying to call our bluff after we sent her child support reduction papers.

Now she wants her fiancé, a convicted felon with not one but two convictions (for violent crimes, not drugs or white collar crimes), to be compensated for watching the kids.

Do we laugh as we call our lawyer or...? This is so hilariously bad that I can’t even google answers to this one.

Hi, lawyer. It’s been all but a few weeks.

Acratopotes's picture

no I will demand after school care, simply because her BF is not an qualified educator and if you have in writing where she asked for it, use it,

Call lawyers if you have to, but her BF will not get paid for watching the children.

Acratopotes's picture

rose colored glasses being in lust... I mean in love.... not taking their anti-crazy pills daily

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

BM can compensate him if she wants but that's on her and her alone.

I will point out that yes it feels like a cash grab here but we tell SM's all the time that they don't have to watch the kids and all that.

I would focus on the fact that you guys don't approve of a man with felonies watching the children. There is no way he would be allowed to in any form if it were an official thing.

Rags's picture

BM can pay for the child care since CS includes all of the NCPs support obligation unless otherwise stated in the CO.

In our case CS was increased due to my Skid's child care costs. This was until age 12 at which point either party could initiate the end of the child care element of CS. They never did and we sure never did so .... the SpermClan paid 6yrs worth of half of the child care costs that they didn't have too. }:) It wasn't a ton of money... $50/mo but they were too stupid to read the CO or take any action to stop it when he turned 12. Shame on them.

Were I you... I would just tell BM NO!. Family provided child care is not likely to be acceptable to a court for increasing CS as far as a judge or the CSE office is concerned. If child care isn't already factored into the CS order.... the answer is no. If she wants in added, she should have to go to court to make that request at which point your lawyer can jump on her to ensure that the kid actually is put in a licensed childcare facility.

So, RFTCO and take control. They whom read the CO own the asses of those that don't.

At least that is the case in our experience.

I love dogs's picture

Shouldn't ROFR come into play and biodad should get skids when mom can't keep them? With the felonies and biker "club" I'd go for it.

DaizyDuke's picture

So if you have to pay SOMEONE for after school care, then just simply demand they go to a sitter, or after school program or something and pay THEM.  I would not be OK whatsoever with a convicted felon babysitting my kids, much less paying them to do so, especially NOT when there are many, many other options.

amodernstepmom's picture

Thanks everyone. BTW, she's ignored our communications about this so far.

And she wants to pay him $600/month total ($300 of which comes from us). 

We'll see how this goes... have a court date for child support reduction soon.

Java_Junkie's picture

NO. $600 a month to a felon to watch your kid while you're away. What could possibly go wrong here?

Java_Junkie's picture


Just... NO.

PS: Is that the best man she can find? Because most moms would want ONLY the BEST for their kids.

amodernstepmom's picture

Honestly, she's got red flags all over the place. Objectively? She's unkind to most people she interacts with on a daily basis. I have hardly heard her utter a nice sentiment, ever, and that's what everyone tells me about her too. So I'm not so sure the best men out there want anything to do with her. Apparently she's always had a thing for the Sons of Anarchy type, so... my DH / her ex does not fit that, but what he does fit is 1) makes good money, 2) can be manipulated if you use "doing the right thing" against him. 

Believe me, I have struggled hard to understand. I was always giving her the benefit of the doubt, but then she would rip away any reason to lend her consideration. It's so frustrating. We just want the best for them.