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It has already begun!

CJ38's picture

So we took my stepson to DCFS and of course they found nothing as I had thought. Although the nurse their said that 85% of the time they don't find any signs of sexual abuse, and that often times the kids won't talk about the abuse for months or even years. And like we thought, my SS f'd up mother came unglued that we had taken him in before notifying the her. She thought that we should have taken him to the family doctor first. What a complete B! She also wrote a Freudian slip in her as always well crafted emails saying, "you should have written me to get my side of the story". Thus proving our suspicion that she knew what had happened. What kind of other side can there be to abuse.

Well and my SS has started the sexual stuff already. When we were going home today, from picking him up he I sat in the back with my son, because I don't want him anywhere near him. he turned around three times and I swear that one of those times he was looking straight up my baby boys shorts. Of course to see only his diaper, but still. I questioned if I was seeing things, but then when we came home, he was talking with me and staring directly at my breasts, not glancing mind you but staring. Disgusting, seeing that I am like his mother. I have been married to his Dad for three and a half years, he is well over the phase of I have a crush on my Fathers new wife.
When his Dad asked him about it, he sheepishly fessed up. Nasty little smacker, I know that I shouldn't feel this way but I am scared to death of my little boy being with this child. I can't help my SS because we found nothing, and his mother who has full medical won't allow it. I have asked my husband to move away but he has informed me that unless things get really really bad, he will not leave my SS. How in Gods name am I going to live like this? I am being held hostage in my own home by my spouse and SS. And my husband doesn't believe that this boy is a threat. I beg to differ, my gut tells me he is a real threat, and will be a real real threat to all of us, especially my little man. Any ideas on how I can curtail this with my SS. Do I threaten him with bodily harm if he comes near my son! Of which, I would not act on but it would be just a threat! Is this normal for a ten year old boy to be looking longingly at his SM breasts? How do I survive, and stay sane living in such hell. How do I put the fear of God in my child, so that he knows to stay completely away from this child? And this last question of which many will say I am crazy, but should I have another child? We were planning on having another child actually two before all of this happened, but I had since changed my mind. But I started thinking that my birth son needs to have a sibling that is his blood, so he won't want to go towards his SS in any way, and also because I want another child. Amy thoughts or suggestions will be more than appreciated, or at this point friend request for any of you who would like to be individual sounding boards and advice givers.

Thanxs everyone!!!

Comments

momma27ofthenorth's picture

I've read some of your old blogs and I can't seem to find if you mentioned how you know your ss is or was being molested? How old is he? I know its scary to think something like that could of happened but what I'm reading is hes acting out sexually? My BD2 is at an age where she's very curious of her body and her Dr. says its normal for her to be curious and explore. My SD6 is also curious she asks questions about my bras and used to try and peek into my shirt also she was very curious of looking at her sisters body. Dr. Says its all normal. Now if the kid is 8,9,10 or older of course its concerning. I'm not down playing your feelings just wondering

CJ38's picture

Just a few of the signs are: He came home from his Grandfathers house with a completely altered personality. He also had a very very detailed and disturbing knowledge of anal. He also told us several times that he didn't want to say anything that would send his Grandfather to prison. He went through the curious stage right after me and my hubby were married, when he was seven. He was innocently curious about breasts. At that time it just made me laugh and we taught him about appropriate behaviors and etc. Hr also cries regularly when we assure him, it is okay for him to tell us the things that happened on the trip, that he has not been able to tell us.

overwhelmed_underappreciated's picture

I want to point out that not all children who are molested turn out to be deviants themselves. I have been somewhat following this story and I am very concerned for your family but especially your ss. I will reread your blogs after this comment but can you and your DH get him into counseling?? If you can't afford it maybe call social services and discuss the situation with them and seeif they can help. This kid obviously needs help and it is your (and your DH and BM) responsibility to get this kid help. Don't hate him for his behavior, he didn't ask to be harmed in this way. He needs help, love, and support. And he needs it ASAP.

overwhelmed_underappreciated's picture

Can you get court ordered therapy?? Has the gfather molested anone else that you or DH are aware of?? DH also needs some counseling. As he is obviously having a hard time. With this. When I told my dad about my uncle (then he and my aunnt had custody of me) had been abusing me he started using heroin because he could not cope. This is an extreme reaction but your family needs some form of therapy, individual and family. I hope everything turns out ok and if you ever want to talk you can pm me... I can't make or accept friend requests because I'm on my mobile but. You can talk to me and I can just share my personal experience and thoughts. I'm so sory for your family and this poor child who has had to deal with this awful horrible weight on his little shoulders...

momma27ofthenorth's picture

My husband works for CPS and unfortunately unless the child discloses to them what happened and have physical evidence that this happened they can't do much. It's sad. They need a "victim" to have a crime. I asked him about this situation and he suggests counsling and hope for your ss that eventually he comes out and tells somebody.

oneoffour's picture

Why are you still sending him to Grandpas? And why did you not do something the first time he mentioned actions he should know nothing about? So now it is the kids fault because you all did nothing in the beginning? or will you delete this post as well?

CJ38's picture

Read the blog, we have done everything we were surpossed to do. It isn't his fault, it is his mothers. But he puts us at risk, because nothing was found, so we can do nothing, and his mother has full medical decision making. Really your threatening tone is not appreciated!

momma27ofthenorth's picture

Knowing about anal sex should of had cps dig a little more. Have you had him examined by a Dr.? I see your point in being concerned, I just don't see why running away from him can fix anything. If this was your son and your husband was in your shoes would you feel the same? I'm sure your husband loves his son very much and wants to try anything to help him not leave him. I don't want feelings between us just my view on things. Good luck!

momma27ofthenorth's picture

Knowing about anal sex should of had cps dig a little more. Have you had him examined by a Dr.? I see your point in being concerned, I just don't see why running away from him can fix anything. If this was your son and your husband was in your shoes would you feel the same? I'm sure your husband loves his son very much and wants to try anything to help him not leave him. I don't want feelings between us just my view on things. Good luck!

momma27ofthenorth's picture

Knowing about anal sex should of had cps dig a little more. Have you had him examined by a Dr.? I see your point in being concerned, I just don't see why running away from him can fix anything. If this was your son and your husband was in your shoes would you feel the same? I'm sure your husband loves his son very much and wants to try anything to help him not leave him. I don't want bad Feelings between us just my view on things. Good luck!