This post is to give everyone a little background on the relationship that DH & I have.

We met in Nov.'99 at work. He was a supervisor and I was a temp employee. Though he was not my supervisor, all my co-workers thought that b/c we were dating....I was getting special treatment. Which I was not. So, our relationship started off rocky due to some of our co-workers. So we both quit that job a few months later, I became a SAHM and DH started driving truck OTR. Now when we first started dating, he did not introduce me to his girls (at the time they were 3 & 5) and actually he didn't tell me that he had any kids, but did tell me he was divorced. I told him straight up, that I was in the process of getting divorced (legally separated when me met & started dating)and that I have a 2 year old son and his father is not in the picture and I don't receive CS from him. B/C I felt that if his father doesn't want anything to do with him, I was going to support my son on my own without his help. And DH was fine with that. He actually commended me on what I was doing. DH finally told me that he had 2 daughters and introduced me to them about 3 weeks after we had been dating. So then my divorce was finalized in Dec.'99, it was a great Christmas gift for me. And up until that point, I refused to become intimate with DH (which he hated), for fear that before my divorce was finalized my EX would try to use it against me. My EX was psycho. lol So after it was finalized, DH & I took our relationship to the next level. We moved in together. We had our ups & downs and during that first year. BM tried everything she possibly could to break us up (telling me lies about DH, telling the girls that while at dad's house you don't have to listen to his gf cause she isn't your mom, typical things to make life miserable). Now also during that first year, I had tried to befriend BM. B/C I thought that if I was her friend, it would make things easier on DH, myself, & the kids....boy was I wrong. But as they say "live & learn". So things were going great between DH & I and the kids, his girls loved me, I loved them and my son loved DH and DH loved my son. So after about a year and a half of dating & living together, DH & I decided to get married. Now since we both already did the whole "big wedding" thing....we decided to elope. The week before we eloped, we talked to the kids asking what they thought about if DH & I would get married. Now the 2 youngest (at the time 3 & 4) did not totally understand, but SD7 (now 15) did and she was happy said that she would for me to be her SM. So the next weekend, DH & I eloped. Was a great weekend. BM didn't know until we got back that we had gotten married. Well, that made BM very mad. So I guess to get back at DH for getting remarried & not discussing it with BM first, BM & her bf decided that they would get married to and did so 3 months later on DH's birthday. Well, I thought that we had all finally gotten to the point that we were all going to be adults and move on with our lives. Wrong again.....DH & I getting married was the worst thing to add to the mix with BM. From then on, BM would not tell us things about the girls (like when school events were, school pictures so we could order, if the girls got sick). BM even tried keeping the girls from us different times. And because there was no court order for visitation, she could. Well, all through this I dealt with BM for DH. B/C DH could not have a civilized conversation with BM without yelling & cussing. Mainly b/c BM would bring up things from their (BM & DH) past and it would set DH off. And BM knew this. I believe that's why BM does it. Well b/c of me always dealing with BM for DH, it caused problems between DH & I. B/C at times, I did side with BM on certain things re-guarding the girls. And DH would get livid when that happened. B/C DH felt that I should take his side re-guardless of the situation. So I believe that is when DH & I started fighting more often than getting along. Over the years we had the normal problems of the kids not getting along, BM causing drama, & financial problems. Some how I managed to stick it out and stay with DH....no matter how stressed, exhausted, and fed up I was. I think it was the far and few between good times we had that has kept me around and going. Though I sometimes wonder why I have stayed. B/C there were times when DH & I would go for weeks without talking, looking at each other, or even give each other a simple kiss good night. And part of the reason why those times would happen is b/c one time while DH was driving truck OTR, I met someone online and started talking with him and did for about 3 months and during that 3 months, somehow I let it evolve into and online relationship. But a lot of the other times was b/c DH has an anger issue, that when he gets pissed off...you better stay clear or you'll be sorry. Now I to have an anger problem, but mine is more like....I keep everything inside for a long time and then one day something just strikes me the wrong way and I explode. So, I can't and won't blame DH for all our problems in our marriage.

Now fast forward to the present......DH & I have been together almost 10 years and married for almost 9. Some how we have managed to stay together, even when things got really bad. But now we have SD15 living with DH, myself, & my BS11 (DH got custody of here in August of this year, but by the court system not until Nov.18...due to BM lying to us(explained in another post)). Now on top of that, SD15 disclosed to me that her SF was sexually abusing her and has been for several years (DHS worker tells us at least for the last 10 years he has been, so basically ever since BM & SF got together). I had to take SD15 to court for the preliminary hearing 2 weeks ago, which went well. So now DH has the normal everyday stresses that he & I deal with, plus the stress of what BM's asshole of a SO did to DH's daughter. DH doesn't really know how to deal with the anger he is experiencing from finding this out. Now me on the other hand, DHS gave us(DH & I) a book to read. DH hasn't read it, but I have and I find that it has helped me deal with this situation very well. DH has even went to SD15's therapist with us for a family session and while there, wouldn't express his true feelings about it. I think b/c SD15 was in the room. So I basically have to walk on eggshells in my home around DH, for fear that if I say or do something wrong he will loss his temper.

Now with all of that said, maybe my other post about the facebook & SD15 & DH thing will make more sense to everyone. Don't get me wrong...I love DH, but sometimes I wonder why. A friend of mine keeps telling me that God only gives us what we can handle & to teach us patience & test us. But I always respond back with " well don't ya think I've been tested enough and when is enough patience, enough?"