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I can not believe what happened tonight

Shell97's picture

To start off...DH, myself, BS12, & SD15 all ended up getting a cold over the weekend. Well SDs glands swelled up and DH suggested taking her to the ER after supper. So we all got done eating supper and SD & I got ready to go to the ER. Right as we were getting ready to walk out the door, BM text messages SD telling her that BMs plane landed in Chicago and she's off to the hotel. BM told SD yesterday that BM had to go to Chicago for training for her work. Well we get to the ER, register her to be seen, and about 5 minutes later they take us back for her to be seen. They check her vitals and tell us the doctor will be in shortly to see her. About 2 minutes later, BM calls SD's cell phone asking where she is. SD tells her and explains why. Well about 10-15 minutes after BM called, she walked into the room. But first BM had the nurse bring in balloons & a rose that she got for SD. And SD wasn't sure who had sent them & the nurse said well there is a card. At first SD thought her boyfriend(bf17) sent them. Then SD saw the card said "love momma" and SD said, I can't believe she did that I'm gonna kill her. Well right behind the nurse was BM with a Green Dr.Seuss hat & green clover sunglasses on. And BM said "then ya better kill me fast, cuz I'm right here. BM showed up without letting DH & I know. So SD called DH & told him that BM was here. After SD got off the phone with DH, SD asked BM why she was here. BM said well your dad wouldn't let you come home to visit, so I came out here. Now mind you, BM wanted us to let BM fly SD15 & SD's bf17 up to visit her. Ummmm, hello phsyco...use your brain. So then I had to show BM where the hotel is that my parents always stay at when they come visit, which is like 10 minutes from our house. Well, lucky for me it was booked. So, I call DH and tell him to call some other hotels which are about 20 minutes away to see if they have any rooms. And then DH shocked me...DH said well it is almost 9pm, tell BM if she wants she can bunk with SD for the night and find a room tomorrow. So, I tell SD what DH had suggested. And once again, lucky for me BM declined his offer. So we get to our house, SD packs some clothes (without asking DH if it is ok that she goes with BM), I give BM the list of the hotels DH called for her and off they went. Then DH has me text SD, telling her to text back with the name of the hotel that they will be at & room #. I also told SD that I will be sending her a text in the morning after I get her prescription filled that the ER gave her.

Now if DH & I would have done something like this and just showed up at BMs home & took SD12 b/c we wanted to see her....BM would flip the hell out and not let us. As a matter of fact, when I was there in Dec. I only got to see SD12 for 8 hours and I was there for 3 days. Now granted I am not SD12's bio parent, but I have been in SD12's life since she was 2 and I should be able to see her for more than 8 hours when I'm there for 3 days. And also, what would BM have done if DH & I would have taken SD15 & BS12 on a mini vacation b/c of them being on Spring Break this week. I told DH that before BM leaves on Sunday, he needs to tell her that the next time she feels the urge to come visit SD, to let us know. B/C BM is no longer SD15's CP, he is. Not to mention BM did ruin plans that we had for Saturday. DH & I were planning on taking the kids to the mall to get some summer clothes. Now BM has to follow us to the mall & then SD will be going off with BM when we get there. DH is worried that BM is going to be trying to persuade SD15 into wanting to go back home with her. B/C BM is now divorced from SF, who molested SD15, and is dating a guy who could pass as DH's twin, and this guy & BM are moving into a house together the end of next month (not sure if they bought it or are renting it). Which DH & I feel is a big mistake, b/c BM has only been dating this guy for a little over a month & they are moving in together.

I just could not believe BM did this. Well actually I can, b/c BM thinks she is still the CP of SD15 and can do whatever the hell she pleases. I really hope DH puts BM in her place before she leaves Sunday.

Comments

Shell97's picture

Yeah you don't know about our situation, but would if you have read any of my previous blogs. And the thing is, we don't care if BM comes to visit with SD...the thing that we care about was the fact BM did not let us know she was coming. Even though BMs own father said that BM should let us know that she was coming to visit. Other than the court order visitations that are scheduled, BM is suppose to check with us before coming to visit with SD. Another reason for that being in the court order is b/c we can not have SD telling any details of her abuse by her former step-dad to BM. And as far as the whole SD staying with BM without asking us first...it is called Respect & Common Courtesy towards DH & I. We are trying to raise our kids to treat ppl the way they want to be treated. And BM has no respect or common courtesy towards anyone. B/C of BM having custody of SD for 15 years, BMs bad habits rubbed off onto SD. DH & I are trying very hard to reverse SDs bad habits that she has learned from BM. So far we have been successful, until SD has either been around or talked to BM for a long amount of time.

And you are entitled to your own opinion...but in our situation, BM does have to have permission from DH to visit with SD before the visit happens. But BM thinks that things have to be her way or no way at all....since custody change, BM does not follow the court order unless it benefits herself.

Shell97's picture

Yeah I was a little annoyed by it, but not offended. B/C you apparently haven't read any of my previous posts to understand my situation. And then decided to post your opinion, without knowing any background.

But no worries, I'm over it.

Amazed's picture

Shell97...why be annoyed when she's trying to help? So she didn't read past blogs...how many of us really do? I personally do not...so would you lash out like that at me too??

Shell97's picture

I normally don't get annoyed by any ones opinions to my posts. But I was having a very bad day the day I read what she posted and I guess those feelings I was having, ended up coming out in my response. I didn't intend for them to, but I'm human...I make mistakes. All I was trying to do was explain the situation a little better. But no I normally do not respond that way.

stepmom008's picture

Honestly, I would have said the same thing that collegemommy did. I don't understand the hostility. I can't imagine that anyone here goes back and reads all old blogs before posting a response.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

Shell97's picture

I see now why it may seem as though I came across as hostile, but that was not my intentions at all. The day I read what collegemommy posted, I was having a very bad day and without knowing, I let that emotion show up in my response. I am sorry collegemommy, if you felt like I attacked you or was hostile with you...that was not my intentions. And I know that me having a bad day is no excuse, but it's the truth. I normally do not respond that way.

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Hey... there's the Shell I know! Smile I knew something must've been off cause you're such a sweetheart!! Hang in there!!!!!!!!