ZHi all. So step mother in law and bils and sils ( there’s a lot) are pretty close to us here. And we want to be around them and hang out, invite them over. Usually they are tight knit with each other, but their behavior has affected our closeness with them. SMIL was given bedbugs while living in same house with landlord. She proceeded to pass them on to us in our new apartment the first time she was over. I ended up discovering them when my first DD was born, and having to work on ridding our house with DH  while I was home recovering and for 7-9 months after. Unbeknownst to her, we had had to sign N agreements as part of the lease. It stated that we were responsible to pay for the building to be fumigated if we introduced bedbugs into the home.

I kept in laws up to date and had conversations with them about our progress and ways to get rid of them. All the in law sibs ended up getting them, by smil not telling us that she had them. They also allowed her to come over with clothes to wash laundry etc. By the end of the year, her sister had exiled her cause she got them, one sil2 had to move to a new apartment & buy new furniture, she bought a house for SMIL and SMIL and bil3 transferred some to new home, other SIL1 got them. They were still trying to have people over, and we turned them down when we knew they had them. In our home, we went out of our way to inform friends in case they made their way over, and so they knew why I was being distant. We backed off hanging with family and I became anal about checking bags and vacuuming etc. we beat them out of our home, but had to develop a protocol when dealing with in laws and holidays and stuff. This was in the course of a year.

Ok. Anyway, they did it again this pregnancy! They invited us over for a birthday party for my nephew, and I was a week and a half from inducement date. Baby was bigger, and doctor was concerned that I wasn’t big enough to do it naturally if we waited longer.anyway, At the party, SMIL asks me, “ ok, when baby comes, should we come to your house or the hospital to see her?” I said, not my house, come to the hospital. While there, SIL1 noticed SS breaking out in a rash,and SO and I felt bit so we left. 

I got the info for who could visit, when how, if kids were allowed etc in a FB message stream? at the hospital on the big day (idk the word) to all in laws including SMIL ahead of time, and notified everyone  when inducement was scheduled to occur. SIL1 showed up with kids and had to leave early cause Little’s couldn’t come in, SMIL said she didn’t know, and didn’t show. Instead she was telling us she would come to my house (this she texted SO, NOT me). I made it clear to SO we were not dealing with bedbugs and exposing another little baby to this crap, so he needed to make sure they didn’t have them. He asked all of them, we saw they read his post, and they didn’t say anything for two hours. Finally after hounding SMIL she admitted they found some more. We said no, come to the hospital. She never showed, and neither did the rest after this. They all told me they were coming prior to this so it was annoying. SMIL asked DH to come over,when I had already told her no a week prior. I was pissed at the manipulation tactics.

So we get home, bio mil stays and helps (she’s sweet, and clean) after a week and a half I think I’m getting bit. I found out when SIL finally came to visit that they also had an infestation of fleas! It was torturous guys. I had them nesting in my hair, it was awful. I again had to spend my recovery time killing bugs instead of spending time with my newborn. Ughhhh. We didn’t have anything to do with in laws after that. DH sent them a mad text and that was it. We don’t even have pets either so it was ridiculous. Ew. We saw them a few times in public, but they had some on them and they did not notice. So we stopped seeing them, SMIL has never seen grand baby. I should say that while they had these new infestations, they all moved back in with mom in SIL2s house. So they were aware, had these other homeless freeloaders living there with a multitude of animals. It’s ridiculous. They had to put a pet down cause SMIL claimed she didn’t have money to take them to the vet. How do I know their up to date on their shots? They had like 7 animals running in and out at the party, and I found out at my house,  at least two different kinds of fleas infesting the house. 

SMIL sent us a text recently inviting us to a work thing. She says she misses us and wants us to bring our kids. No one has volunteered an apology. How would you handle these in laws? It’s like they don’t notice bugs! It’s crazy. I’m not sure I should say anything as SO has fussed at them and it’s been radio silence. I want good relationships with them, but I’m tired of the bug situation. Whenever we have gotten anything, they nest in my hair or my side of the bed. I have an allergic reaction to them, but I must be tasty. And my kids are vulnerable. Plus SOs ex is the kind to start crap without notice or us even aware it’s coming. So I have to be careful with bugs in my home. Anyway, any advice on how to handle in laws? Should I try talking to them to make them stop?I want to get this straightened out, I want them to stop being so inconsiderate. How do I accomplish this?  My DD2 is about to be 7 months, we have no fleas, or bedbugs- the last time I saw in laws was in April. 

Just to be thorough, tapeworms from dogs and cats, typhus, and bubonic plague is spread by fleas to humans through bites. Right now, LA is experiencing some of this due to the homeless population increasing and the dead rodents and live fleas in the area. So it’s possible to get this stuff today.