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My poor SMIL (OT Vent)

3LittleDragonflies's picture

25 years ago, she adopted a 6 week old baby while working at a troubled children's home.
She raised him as her own, on her own, and loved him with everything she had.
She then adopted 2 little girls, ages 3 & 4, when he was 16.
SMIL met and married FIL when he was 18.
He got into HEAVILY into drugs.
He molested the youngest (SIL2) when she was 8.
SMIL paid $15K for him to go to rehab, thinking it happened because he was high.
He broke out.
He tried to rob an old lady bringing in her groceries
He was put on felony probation
He tried to kill FIL, DH, the girls, and SMIL.
He had a gun
FIL turned him in
He went to prison.
SMIL and FIL moved the family out of state (with DH and BM)
SMIL tried to get him help in prison
He got out
He was on parole, he went down to visit SMIL. He nearly broke SIL2's leg.
SMIL sent him home.
He ran off and absconded from his parole
They gave him a slap on the wrist
He got off parole
He started living in the homeless shelter
He moved in with SMIL's best friend and her wife. SMIL adopted another girl, age 11)
He decided he didn't like their rules and moved back into the homeless shelter.
He moved down to where SMIL lives now
Expected her to take him in. She sent him to the homeless shelter. Said he needed to earn her trust back.
He asked if he could stay with them for the week of his birthday. (last week of October and first few days of November)
SMIL allowed him to. Any time the girls were around, she was right there keeping an eye on all of them.
Day after Halloween, he and SMIL got in a huge fight. He called my baby sister (who is 12!) a whore. He burned her Halloween costume. He stole their game systems and left notes saying the girls are all little sluts and pole dancers in training (I've known these girls for 3 years now. They are the sweetest things I've ever met.) where the girls would find them. Stole
SMIL is now in a depression, she feels she failed as a mother and has no right raising her 3 girls. She apparently hasn't gotten out of bed in a few days (she's normally first one up and ready to go in the morning. She is really a great mom. I go to her about everything. DH says she's more his mom then his bio mom ever has been)
I just want to hug her and tell her it's not her fault he turned into such a bad apple.
He's not allowed anywhere near the family anymore. SMIL is done.

Just my vent for the day before I explode. I know it's not Christian... but I hope he never gets saved and burns for what he's done to SIL2 and MIL.


not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Wow, wtf. Did he fall into the wrong crowd and started drugs?

Poor SMIL, I feel for her. Sad

3LittleDragonflies's picture

Him and DH both fell into the wrong crowd. DH realized it was a bad crowd (after 2 years of being addicted to crack) and got out and sobered up. SMIL's AS just got deeper.

3LittleDragonflies's picture

Yeah, his biological mother was a 16 year old who's mother had thrown her out when she got pregnant. She didn't know which of the several guys she was sleeping with at the time was the father. She wanted to keep him, then decided being a mother was too hard and dropped him off with SMIL when he was 2 weeks old. SMIL got the paperwork done in record time and he was hers at 6 weeks old.

ctnmom's picture

So sad, some big thank you to your poor SMIL! This situation reminds me of something I read once about a kid who was adopted at birth and ended up mirroring his bio dads' crimes- even using the same type of weapon( bowie knife) to terrorize/rob people. Does she know anything about his bioparents?

3LittleDragonflies's picture

Mother moved to Ireland and married when he was young. He saw her once when she was in the states when he was 12. She was... "Unpleasant" to him. SMIL says he really changed after that.
Father is a mystery.

ctnmom's picture


furkidsforme's picture

He was likely born addicted or has some type of brain or emotional disorder from his mother using drugs or alcohol.

My SS16 is "off". He's not disabled, but there is something about him that just isn't right. He lacks empathy and never shows any emotion except a very flat affect or outright rage. Found out that his BM abused Stadol her entire pregnancy. Nice!