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Sick of suffering because of lazy BMs/ child support laws

xtina's picture

In my state, SD, women don't have to have a job in order to receive child support and it really pisses me off! For example, my boyfriend has a 5 year old from an OOPS one night stand. 9 months later, he had a note on his door that said "I'm pregnant, if it's white it's your baby" Turns out she was married but in the end the baby was his. Well he was all about being a part of this kids life and now has him 50% of the time. When she found out she wasn't going to get child support because they had split custody, she quit letting him take the kid that much, so she could collect child support. Now she gets 600 a month from him, but she has NO job, is a known hooker, and has 4 other kids with 4 different guys. Why in the world should she get that much money to sit on her ass? And she probably gets the same for the rest of her kids. Apparently I went into the wrong profession. In my opinion, and this is just mine, I don't mean to offend any of you out there who are stay at home moms, etc but a woman needs to get off her BUTT and get her BUTT a job and at least try to support her own children before relying on someone else. Especially the government. These women sit at home, collect child support and food stamps and whatever other assistance they can get, while the guy is stuck working his tail off to pay child support. I have a friend who makes GREAT money yet collects $900 in child support a month! Her ex hubby has to live with roommates and got a second job in order to keep up. How is any of this fair? Back to my boyfriend's POS baby mama... he is more than happy to support his son, but why should he pay that much because she is too lazy to get a job? As his partner, why should we suffer because of her laziness? Why should we pay her to pop her pills, smoke cigarettes, and loan money to her bum boyfriends? Child support laws are so messed up!
On the other hand, I feel that when a loser guy knocks up every girl he sees and then takes off and is a 'deadbeat', he needs to pay up! Suck every penny out of those losers!

I just had to vent... my boyfriend says his son's mom wants him to borrow her money. Are you kidding?

Comments

StickAFork's picture

One could argue that if she's a hooker, she's NOT sitting on her ass.

Laying on it, maybe. Blum 3

Do you get CS from your babydaddy?

xtina's picture

HAHAHA that's funny.
Yes I do, I get 150 a month. Where is my $900/ month? JK that's just outrageous.

xtina's picture

That's exactly what I asked my BF!! How much did you pay for that? He said she wasn't hooking back then, and they met at a party and his friends knew her. Whatever he wants to tell himself.

Oh and trust me, I'm not knocking SAHMs who stay home. I would if I could, trust me. I was referring to the ones who purposely don't have jobs to collect all the assistance they can. Does that make sense?

On another note, if you're going to get knocked up by someone you don't know or is not your husband... don't ruin someone else's life and the childs by raising that child. Especially if you're a druggy hooker. To these girls, babies are just money bags. It's sad.

xtina's picture

That's pathetic! I heard a story that when pro atheletes have random sex, they are super paranoid and use condoms and then keep the condoms so women can't take the semen out and impregnate themselves. I feel bad for the babies that come out of these situations.

Frustr8d1's picture

Tell me about it. This whole topic has to be the most maddening of them all. First, us SMs are pissed that BM is a lazy-ass who takes minimal responsibility for her ridiculous offsprine. Then, we have to be pissed at DH for getting himself (and us) in this mess in the first place.

I blame them all. We can't win.

xtina's picture

Right! I feel hostile because he shouldn't have been so stupid to knock up women he wasn't married to, how could he do that to his future wife he didn't know yet (me)? And I can't stand the kids, or the baby mamas. But we looooooooooooove these men.
The math is all wrong.

Disneyfan's picture

Forget BM If I were in your shoes, I would be livid about the amount of CS I was receiving. $300(assuming each parent paying 50/50 to support the child) a month just isn't enough to support a child.

When my son 3, day care alone was $475 a month.

xtina's picture

Are you referring to my measly 150 a month? My son's dad also has 3 other children he is paying for. Yes, I will admit, I am a repeat offender Sad LUCKILY my mom does daycare so I don't have a daycare expense!

Beautiful Dreamer's picture

Amen preach on! DH has 2 lazy bms who don't work! I don't but was working btw I just had a c-section a week ago so it's not like I can work right now. Their kids are all school aged kids so that means they sit at home all day doing nada while their kids are in school. Wtf man!

Frustr8d1's picture

I have felt the same-- "...how could he do that to his future wife he didn't know yet (me)?"

Good point xtina, the math doesn't add up!

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

I guess I don't see the correlation of needing a job in order to get child support? It is supposed to go to the child, and I know that plenty of people live off of it, but in theory, employment only affects the payor.

xtina's picture

Because too many women live on welfare and child support and food stamps, thus causing higher costs for the government to support these deadbeat moms. WOmen need to get a job to try to support their children and themselves on their own before they are allowed to take government money and resources. Now some women on the other hand work hard but still struggle to make ends meet for their children. They are the ones that deserve the child support, not the lazy ones.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

I still don't get the correlation. Child support goes to the custodial parent regardless of economic status or employment. These women that are on state aid usually have part of, if not all, of their support taken by the state. That is why the state reacts so quickly when people apply for aid, becuase the state wants repayment.

StickAFork's picture

I think that maybe you don't have a clear picture of how government assistance works...

Welfare goes to a parent who is *very* poor. Let's say it's mom, and dad is NCP. IF dad pays support, the welfare is reduced by that amount (except $50, I think.) So, technically, the government isn't paying all of that money out.
Now, instead, what *usually* happens is there's a deadbeat dad involved who does NOT pay CS. BM gets welfare, and there is no offset.

So, really, there isn't "living on welfare and child support" in most cases.
Mom gets $500 in welfare.
Dad pays $200 in CS.
Mom gets the $200 in CS and and $300 in welfare (not accounting for the $50.)

Or...
Dad pays $600 in CS.
Mom isn't eligible for welfare.

Numbers are just examples.

In my case, I could live comfortably without working if XH paid CS. Even if I were single, and didn't have a DH and his income.
Of course, XH doesn't pay anything.

Disneyfan's picture

If a BM is getting welfare (cash) and CS, the state is taking a big chunk of the CS.

My son's dad has 2 BMs. I have always worked. The other BM worked for 6 months when the kid was 4~ that is it ( The girl will be 23 next month.)

Son's dad and SM would bitch about CS, not because he had to pay it, but because most of the money went to the state.

DF is dealing with this now. It drives him crazy to known that the state of NY is getting that money instead of his kids.

Disneyfan's picture

If a BM is getting welfare (cash) and CS, the state is taking a big chunk of the CS.

My son's dad has 2 BMs. I have always worked. The other BM worked for 6 months when the kid was 4~ that is it ( The girl will be 23 next month.)

Son's dad and SM would bitch about CS, not because he had to pay it, but because most of the money went to the state.

DF is dealing with this now. It drives him crazy to known that the state of NY is getting that money instead of his kids.

xtina's picture

Maybe the laws are different in your states, but in SD women can not have a job but they will get hundreds of dollars a month in child support and hundreds in food stamps, and help with rent. my ex's baby mama used to brag about making so much in child support that she could pay her rent and bills and still have money left to live on but she also got 300 a month in food stamps. That's what I'm talking about. Lazy.
Stop correcting me, I know what I'm talking about.

hippiegirl's picture

I think her point is that it pisses her off that BM sits on her @ss and collects money from HER man, while she is stuck trying to make ends meet with whatever is left.