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Asshat update...

WalkOnBy's picture

Had dinner with DD27 and the baby last night.   My butt didn't even hit the chair when DD27 whips out her phone to show me the text message that started all of this nonsense.  It was a group chat between DD27, Thing1 and Asshat.  My suspicions were confirmed.

AH - hi guys I need to talk to both of you.  When is a good time to call.  We need to talk about Thing2

Thing1- ???  why do we need to talk about Thing2?  Is he okay?  Just facetimed with him yesterday and he seemed fine

DD27 - I have a one year old.  There's never a good time until she goes to bed.  8pm?

Thing1 - that's 7p here, yeah, that will work

AH - so, I am so proud of him and how hard he's working and we all know that one day he will save us all from Zika *more effusive praise of Thing2 and his work ethic, how hard it must be to be in Japan and blah blah blah blah*  Since your mom is not helping him, we need to put together a Thing2 loan program to help him out.  I don't know why your mom isn't helping, but she isn't.   His tuition for the first year is due and he will need the same amount for next year's tuition.  I will put up 6K if you each put up 3K.  We will loan it to him interest free and when he saves the world from Zika he will pay us back.

DD27 - um, wait.  Mom is paying the rent to the tune of 45,000 yen a month which I think is about $450 depending on the exchange rate.  You know this because I have told you, as has Thing2 and Thing1.

Thing1 - dude - I told you mom was paying his rent.  What's with saying she isn't helping?

DD27 - the way I see it, she is the only one helping him right now if what you're saying about the tuition is true.  Maybe you should call mom?  *lots of lols and laughing emojis because everyone knows he isn't going to call me*

Thing1 - THAT would be a fun conversation to listen to - NOT! 

AH - So, what do you guys think?

Thing1 - I am in if you will guarantee my investment.

DD27 - no comment on the mom not helping thing?  I have a mortgage, my own student loan to deal with, car payments. baby.  All of our money is already allocated somewhere else and why are you even asking us?  This is weird. dad.  Like if you want to give Thing2 6K, then just go ahead and give it to him.  ???

AH - Okay, so I will call you guys at 8 eastern time.  We can talk more then

 

DD27 is just flabbergasted at this.  She said it made her feel super uncomfortable and awkward.  When the phone call came, both kids reminded him that yes, I WAS contributing and in an equal amount to the tuition.  She said she told AH that she was unable to contribute and once again told him that if he wants to help, he should just help and not try to extract more money from his children. 

Thing1 reiterated that he was in, but only if AH would guarantee he would get paid back.   

Apparently, the call ended with no resolution and AH saying he would "have to think about it."

She said she pressed him a couple of times about lying about my contribution, but he would only say that he was under the impression that I wasn't helping.  She said she gave up because "you know how he is when he doesn't want to admit he was wrong."

Yes, kiddo, I sure do.

Then we had a really nice dinner Smile

Comments

WalkOnBy's picture

Thanks, Gimmy.  Yes, as you know, I am a HUGE advocate for not alienating the other parent (even when it would be completely justified, as in this case LOL).

I will be fascinated to hear how this all ends up.  I texted Thing2 last night and asked him if he knew anything about this plan and he said he had no idea.  

I WISH Asshat would call me, I really do 

Diablo

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Trying to get money out of his kids when he makes weird amounts of money?! What is wrong with this man?!?!

I'm not saying males are a bank, but if you have money to spare!!! Why not put it to good use!!! INSTEAD of whining about everything!!!

If I had spare money you can bet I'd be helping out wherever I could! I have basiclaly no monies right now and I STILL try and do whatever I can to help out! Normally it's just more service based!

I'm glad you're not stooping, and I'm glad your kids are standing up for you on this!!!

WalkOnBy's picture

yep - the asking them to help is the thing that I find most fascinating in all of this.   I mean, DD27 hits the nail on the head, if you want to give Thing2 6K then just do it, right?  

I knew this had something to do with me - when it comes to Asshat, it always does....I am very surprised that he pulled the old "your mom's not helping" card when both kids know that I am paying Thing2's rent.  I mean, if you're gonna lie, you should at least make sure that they folks you're lying to don't know the truth, no?

Oh, Asshat.  Poor, feckless Asshat.

Stop

Aniki-Moderator's picture

You two have been divorced HOW LONG?? He just cannot stop with his control BS, can he? Whatever will poor, feckless Asshat do once Thing2 finishes school?

Maybe Asshat will beeyotch about you not spending enough money on the grandkids. SMDH

WalkOnBy's picture

We got divorced in 2000.  The Things were about to turn 5 and DD27 was 9.  It's been a looooooooooong time.  

Don't even get me started on how he handled DD27's wedding a few years back.  All I am going to say is I'm glad we only had one daughter Smile

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

18 YEARS. Shok E-freakin-gads!!!

I can only imagine what a jackass he was about the wedding. Likely, he will find SOMETHING to crank about when the Things marry.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I don't condone lying... But people who lie stupid and obvious are an even clearer nuissance to society... 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I don't care WHAT the circumstances are, the age of anyone, whether it's bio/step/Vulcan. The gist is that Asshat made a promise/commitment and now he's reneging. Period. Dot.

WalkOnBy's picture

could be.  Thing2's take on it - "it sucks and it's shitty for sure.  I am sure it's at least part Money-Ka's doing.  this has been the record playing non-stop for five years now."

Sad

Sweet T's picture

Ladies totally nailed it on being about control. He must be bored and needs to create drama.

 

Sorry you are still stuck with that idiot...Doesn't give me a lot of hope.

Maxwell09's picture

You know it might be a good thing if Thing 2 can get through all this without his Dad's help. From the sound of it, Dad is the type to take full credit of any of Thing 2's success even if his contribution is nil to none. Then he will really be insufferable. 

queensway's picture

This is the way I see it. The man (father) told his son he would give him 5k a year for his schooling abroad. That should be the end of it. This should be between him and his son. He should stick to what he said he was going to do and DO IT. Game over. But now this guy wants to drag his other children in on this problem that he has created because he went back on his word. In all honesty his word is now shot to hell and the young man that is in Japan will remember this for the rest of his life. If this Father has the money why on earth would he want his other children to pitch in 3k each. Utterly ridiculous.  He should only care about what he is giving and should not care what his ex is giving. Frankly it is none of his business what and who else gives this young man money to help him out. From what I have read in your blogs the man has money. This is the part that makes this so ridiculous for me. This is his child. For all of you out there who say well the son should be paying his own bills,he is old enough, blah blah blah. That is not what this is about. This is about a Father who has money and has chose to go back on his word. Nothing more. This father is a controlling and untrustworthy grown a$$ man.

WalkOnBy's picture

Yup - it's really that simple.  He told Thing2 he would pay for him to go to graduate school.  Doesn't matter if Wookiee or bananasee think he should or shouldn't - he agreed to do so.  Paid for Thing2 to travel to Japan and accompanied Thing2 on the initial trip.  KNOWS I am paying a literally equal amount to what he said he would pay.  

Reneges on agreement, thereby potentially stranding kid.  

Ewwww.  Ick.  So gross.

ndc's picture

This guy's behavior is reprehensible.  He could give lessons on how to destroy a relationship with one's children.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Crap from Pottery Barn is important you know.  Your child's tuition is just child's play when crap from Pottery Barn for Money Ka is needed.  

WTF...REALLY's picture

 Why is he bringing his children into this? It is incredibly creepy. And what a stupid man thinking that this would be a good way to alienate his adult children from their mother. What a fool. 

WalkOnBy's picture

I don't know WTF...that's the strangest thing in all of this.  Why on EARTH is he soliciting the other two kids??  

As my husband said last night, Asshat never ceases to amaze.

twoviewpoints's picture

I read the first blog on Asshat (but didn't leave comment, just hit some 'like' buttons) and now this one.

Several things jumped out to me. 1) that Thing 1 was so willing to hand over the cash if Dad promised to see it was paid back.  The man who is screwing over Thing 2 still holds his other son's trust. Dad broke his promise to Thing 2, why would Dad keep a promise to Thing 1? I suppose the kids want to 'believe' in their father even when they know deep down Dad doesn't always prove trustworthy. 

Second thing was, why is this man asking his 20-something kids to bail him out of a promise he made that they had nothing to do with making?  A young man just getting going himself and a young woman who just became a mother and has all those necessary kiddie expenses .... Daddy makes 6 million a year? $5000 is pocket change to this man. 

Third thing was the odd $3,000 a piece. Asshat hasn't paid this year's tuition , and it sounds as if he is now trying to get his kids to come up with the cash to do so, plus an extra $1000 for? Kicks and giggles? 

Yeah, the broken promise, especially after Daddy took the young man over there to get this all started. Now wants to back out? NOW!!!??? Who does that? 

If the man wasn't going to come through or wanted the option of perhaps changing his mind, he never should have told Thing 2 he would in the first place. Nope, not gonna do it, Thing 2 , would have been said and done. No more further expectation from Dad. 

Do I believe every parent 'owes it' to their adult child to pay clear through higher education? Nope. But I do believe in following through on what you give your word as. What is a person who isn't worth their word? Unless there has been an extreme change in circumstances which were totally unforeseeable and 100% out of your control, would be my one exception... and even then I'd very likely find a way to make my commitment whole. 

I hope things work out for Thing 2.

WalkOnBy's picture

You totally feel my pain :-)  

Thing1 has always been Asshat's favorite, so his experience with his dad is much different than Thing2's and DD27's. They have both been fucked over by him in the past, so they see what's coming.  DD27 has a much easier time dealing with it now that she is launched and has her family.

Thing2 is that kid who is still seeking the approval of his dad.  I think that deep down he knows it's not coming, but I also believe that deep down he believes that his dad won't leaving him twisting in the wind in Japan. 

I, on the other hand, have every reason to believe that he will, indeed, leave Thing2 hanging.

Who asks their kids to kick in?  A DICK - that's who.