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The Mother of All PASinators - OR - ugh, mom, enough already

WalkOnBy's picture

I have posted here before about my mom, aka the Original PASinator, so I won’t go into all the gory details, but suffice to say, I didn’t see my dad for a long time after my parents got divorced. Like 8 years. When my daughter was born, something akin to a bolt of lightning exploded above my head, and I took my 3 day old daughter, strapped her in her car seat and drove from Chicago to Michigan to show my dad his first grandchild. Didn’t call, and I wasn’t even really sure that he still lived where I thought he did, but he was there and it was the start of rebuilding our relationship.

When Asshat and I divorced, my mom tried to PAS my kids against Asshat. I shot her down at every turn. Even told her flat out that she was NOT going to do to MY kids what she had done to us. Always with the snide remarks about Asshat, his wife, his house, his whatever. I kept the kids away from her from time to time because of this. All the while, she was still taking potshots at my dad. Again, I shut her down at every turn.

My daughter got married last year and she and her husband split holidays with each family. Pretty standard stuff when an adult child gets married, but not for MY mom. Oh, no. She is outraged every year because DD24 “has” to spend either Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve with her in-laws. And, I mean outraged. Says things like, “why do THEY get to see you and I don’t?” and “it’s not fair that THEY get to spend time with my granddaughter and I don’t.” My daughter knows who her grandmother is and responds accordingly, typically with something like, “grandma, stop it.” I guess I raised her right – lol!!

Asshat, his wife and their kids moved to Boston about 25 seconds after Thing1 and Thing2 graduated from high school back in 2013. Both Things are in college. Last year, both Things were home for Thanksgiving, and each went to Boston for some time over their Christmas break. Thing2 was actually in Boston for Christmas, while Thing1 was home. My mom hit the roof!! “Why does ASSHAT get them on Christmas and you don’t?” Uh – because they are adults, I see them all the time and Asshat doesn’t, they miss their little brothers and sisters, they want to see their dad and SM and a million other reasons. I always support when they want to go see their dad and tell my mom to lay off all the time, but she doesn’t. The Things respond accordingly, typically with “grandma, stop it.” Guess I raised them right, too – lol!!

This year is the year that DD24 spends Thanksgiving with her in-laws. In an effort to accommodate my mom, DD24 suggested that we do Thanksgiving on the day after this year. I would have told my mom “see ya next year, Grandma” but my daughter is far more thoughtful than I Smile My mom agreed to Thanksgiving on Friday.

Just got word from the Things that they are going to Boston for Thanksgiving this year. Do I care? Nope – they haven’t seen their dad, SM and siblings in almost a year and I totally get that they want to go. No big deal at all, right? Yeah – I have a feeling that when my mom learns this, she is going to HIT THE ROOF!!
The Things have plans to tell her this weekend. Apparently, Thing2 is driving from his college town to Thing1’s college town and my mom is meeting them there.

At least they have the courtesy to tell her in person – LOL!!!

Comments

notasm3's picture

Time to tell your mother to STFU or else you will not include her period. Being old is no excuse for being an ass.

WalkOnBy's picture

She's not that old. She's 71 but still works full time. She has MS but has had it for years, and it's fairly mild.

She is just bitter and takes her anger at my dad out on Asshat and anyone else who she thinks deserves it.

I am over it.

WalkOnBy's picture

When I lived in Chicago, it was sooooo easy to do that.

I will say that I won't miss this bullshit at ALL once my mom leaves this earth...

There were some years when my kids were younger and with Asshat that I went out of town with my boyfriend jsut to avoid hearing my mom bitch and whine and moan - lol

WalkOnBy's picture

I told you that we were sisters from another mister!!

The Things and my DD24 probably see her out of guilt - not the best motive, I know.

WalkOnBy's picture

who knows? I just know that both of our moms sit around being bitter Betties and trying to make everyone around them as bitter as they are.

UGH!!!

PS - gonna be in your neck of the woods next month Smile

WalkOnBy's picture

I taught the kids to handle her. We are good.

My kids are all adults now and they can manage their own relationships.

She tries to interfere but we all see who we want when we want.

notsobad's picture

This is our BM. SS(24) has moved to the same city as his GF and told us he will be spending Xmas with her & her family. It's fine with us, we'll see him on the 26th or 27th, SD(26) was upset, Mom will not like this! SS said Mom will just have to deal.
He still hasn't told BM because he doesn't want 2 months of bitching and whining.
We know he hasn't told BM because SD hasn't gotten a tear filled call from BM yet.

The sad thing is that SD will parrot BM with the same things your Mom says. "Why is he moving to her?, Why does she get to choose where they live? She should be following him, etc."