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My Tongue has a BITE MARK scar!

thinkthrice's picture

we were at a local eatery (side note:  we have been watching our diet pretty well... Chef's down 12 lbs has significantly reduced his booze intake and is much more pleasant to deal with)  and a server comes up to us who LOOKS.ALOT.LIKE.THE.GIRHIPPO (except for the Gir's massive height)

I told Chef that she looked quite a bit like the Girhippo and he immediately retorted "NAH!!!"

And then I caught myself ALMOST saying "she is a lot BETTER looking than the Gir, though"

I'm sure somehow, some way, he thought that the Girhippo was MUCH more attractive than our server. 


Anyway she had the same hair, same features, same colouring, same body type and would break out in somewhat pitchy singing to the music in the background... which would be something the Gir would do as she thinks she can sing.

Almost put me off my salad!


Simpleton21's picture

I think it is hard for men to admit that their exes aren't attractive, lol, it reflects poorly on their decision making Wink

tog redux's picture

DH fully admits BM is gross and he finds her repulsive now. But I've seen pictures of her when she was younger and she looked much, much better. She hasn't aged well. 

Ispofacto's picture

I'm better looking now at 49 than Voldemort was at 19.  I saw a polaroid of her wearing a corset on her wedding day and almost hurled.  DH made me throw the photo away.  Objectively, she was so hideous, like a killer clown.  And she's 10x grosser now, morbidly obese.  What was he thinking??  He shudders at the mere mention of her name now.


thinkthrice's picture

pm me

Iamwoman's picture

Hahahaha! I love this post and all of the comments!

DH feels physically nauseated at the thought of HCBM. He has admitted that he had low self esteem at the time, and when she pressured him into marrying her, he acquiesced as a measure of societal expectations. He felt that at his age, he should be marrying. He left her several times before marriage and several times during. She manipulated him through both threats of suicide, and through using his children as pawns against him. In retrospect, he wishes he had just let her kill herself as “the world would be a better place without her constant pity parties and sucking up more than her fair share of resources.”

That may sound harsh to an un-weathered observer, but he is not a harsh man. He is the warmest, kindest man. She was/is actually worse than can be summarized in a comment of respectable length.

On the other hand, I am just as embarrassed/ashamed of my previous choice in a man. Low self esteem can lead to life-destroying decisions.

Jcksjj's picture

BM here isnt repulsive but she is...odd looking. Unusual features that dont really go together. She kind of looks like one of those scrambled pictures where they put  a bunch of different peoples features together and it just looks weird. Also she has dark brown hair and eyes but white blonde eyebrows and eyelashes so it looks like back in the day when women used to shave off their eyebrows. DH has never seemed to think she was anything other than embarrassing and never defended her being odd looking despite the fact that SD is nearly identical. 

Also that's hilarious that she thinks she can sing because BM is also super proud of her singing ability and posts videos of her trying way too hard at it on Instagram and also was on some site where strangers sing to eachother and rate their abilities. 

Jcksjj's picture

Also silly me was wondering who's crazy skid attacked them and somehow managed to bite their tongue when I read the title. Nothing would surprise me anymore.