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I'll just dump my bucket here

TheWicked's picture

Double rant! Yesterday I scrubbed the house down. Biggest issues were boogers and poop on walls and the floors. We live in the desert where the spring wind blows super fine dust everywhere. And I understand with several people in the house the floors are going to get dirty but UGH!

Skids got home at 4pm. At 4:20 I walk down very short hallway to bathroom. Huge black smudge all down one wall, leaves, dirty shoe prints, candy wrappers, a pencil are all over the floor. And it looks like someone stood in the hallway and ripped all the pages out of a spiral bound notebook and shook the paper droppings all over the floor. I wanted to scream!

Lately everyone keeps telling me to find things to fill my emotional bucket. That doing that will help me deal with skids better. Well. One of my biggest bucket fillers used to be Sundays. We had no electronics before church and the rule was a quieter day. We talked quieter and took things slow. I woke up in a house that was STILL clean from Saturday's scrubbing. We ate on the back porch and watched the birds. We had conversations about kiddos lives and the future and what they thought. We went to church then came home and napped and made yummy snacks and watched AFV. We played board games and were silly together. It was always such a great day. A real relief from the work week and fun time together. Kiddos got along and I felt rested for the next week.

Now Sundays start with me stumbling down the hallway listening to skids scream/cackle/fight about Minecraft while they run in and out of each other's rooms slamming the doors. There is always a HUGE blow up about going to church. One skid always looks like he pulled his clothes out of a dumpster and then rolled around the dog park. After church the rest of the day is filled with the kitchen being trashed every 30 mins and Skype with the BM for HOURS. And she has to call DH during Skype bitching about this, that, and the other thing.

I just medicate myself on Sundays now and pray for Monday to arrive.


NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Have you ever read that Stephen King book called The Regulators? Its really good. I highly recommend it. The main character's name is Audry Wyler. This demonic creature from the desert has inhabited her autistic nephew and this creature has taken over the neighborhood. Anyways, Audry goes to this place in her mind. It's a field of wildflowers on a mountain. It's a special place on a spaecial day from twenty years ago that she visited with a friend from college and when things go crazy hell in the book she retreats to this place in her mind. When I'm knee deep in the trenches of stephell I think of that book and of that passage. I think I need to find that special place in my mind and I'll just sit here with my mouth ajar and my eyes all glazed over while the stepkids play endless vine videos on their iphones for daddy to watch.