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Is this one of your BMs?

TheAccidentalSM's picture

This woman is deluded.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/sep/11/problem-solved-annal...

I think too much coparenting lunches must be hugely confusing for the child. They may hold onto the fantasy that mommy and daddy might get back together for longer.

Comments

moeilijk's picture

They were really nice to the BM, probably too nice because I got the impression that lady was committed to her own viewpoint.

And it was weird how they switched from referring to the dad as "your ex" and "your husband."

Sootica's picture

Thank-you for posting this -I really needed a good laugh today! This BM is sooo deluded it's hilarious! There is no "our family" the SD has a family with mom & a family with dad but mum,dad & daughter are no longer a family unit.It might be helpful if this was explained loud and clear when people got divorced.People appear to conveniently forget this.

The lunches-really?Give me strength! What is the purpose of these lunches other than for BM to re-assure herself that the ex DH's balls are still firmly on her keychain?? Surely after 5 years there is some sort of parenting agreement / visitation plan in place??Yes I know that things crop up all the time with kids buts that's why there is email & text messages / phones in place. Meeting for family lunches is completely unnecessary but yet again this ex couple seems to not grasp what being truly split up means.

The funniest part was how allegedly they use to parent with no problems until the GF came along read "I use to get my way all the time and ex DH was a complete push over" the problem is now it's stopped.Wonder if GF will end up on Steptalk?!

Pity it wasn't explained to the BM she has all the requirements to be part of the golden uterus club immediately as she that is what she obviously is. Glad it was explained how they both haven't let go due to their pathetic behaviour.The woman needs a serious reality check!

Snowflake's picture

I think the only thing she got right was when this:

"Sometimes when couples split, they forge a new semi-relationship where they are still involved, but are not “together”. This works until one of them moves on. I think, if you are honest with yourself, this is what has happened."

This is what happens and it's a change for everyone. The bm usually thinks that everything is going to remain the same because right after the divorce the father isn't yet in a relationship and of course wants to make everything work for the kids.

But then when a new woman comes into the picture of course it is going to change. In my opinion I think the bm feels more angry that she her thoughts and feelings on everything are no longer wanted and she is regulate to status of ex instead of as sacred golden uterus who dropped a child.

But it is bound to happen. If I could give advice to a newly divorce woman, it is boundaries boundaries bounderies. For your own emotional health

momof3smof2's picture

This is pretty close to the relationship I had with my kid's dad before he started dating the psycho.

There were no delusions from anyone. Including my kid's.

notasm3's picture

As an adult woman I have the right to determine who I have in my life. If I don't want to include BM there' s no reason to do so. I'd speak to her and be cordial if our paths crossed but I did not even want to be FB friends

I choose not to be with a man who is dating others. I do not think either of those is controlling.

Maxwell09's picture

I have a couple of things:
Weekly dinners together? So basically he's dating his ex with his child in tow as an excuse. Vomit.
Why are BMs so obsessed with "meeting" the new girlfriend, oh I know! It's a power play and to size up her "replacement". Nothing good ever comes of sit down with BM and this I know for sure.
Is the BM married? There was mention of her husband in the article but I couldn't tell if it was referring to her ex that she treats as her husband still or if maybe she had a husband. And if she did then why the heck is he okay with some Ex of hers taking her to dinner once a week to play house with their love child....(this make me think it was referencing her EX because what man would allow that)

z3girl's picture

I think the advice given was pretty good. The relationship between the ex's couldn't stay like that if they intended to move on. They were really too close to allow another person into either of their lives. The BM has to learn to just let go. She is not with her daughter's father, and while the changes may be scary because of the unknown, it is what it is.

WalkOnBy's picture

I hate that whole "we are still a family" bullshit.

No you're not. You were not a family when you get divorced. Nothing irritates me more than this ridiculous delusion. When I divorced ass hat, he was no longer my family. He was my children's family, but he was not my family.

Oh these women!!

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Sorry to have posted and run yesterday. Had IRL things that needed doing. All your comments on the article are really thoughtful.