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Unappreciative brat and going to try my hardest not to give into DH anymore!!

tankh21's picture

For the most part I have tried to disengage from the skids however, last night I gave in because my DH wasn't feeling well which was a big mistake and now I realize I cannot give in anymore because things are never going to change. So DH wanted to go lay down last night and I had been at work all day and YSS wanted barbeque ribs for dinner.

DH asked me if I would put them in the oven and take them out when they were done. I told him ok I will this one time since you aren't feeling well. Well I put the ribs in the oven and took them out 30 minutes later SS was hover over me in the kitchen because he was so hungry he said.

After that I left to go to the store when I get back the plate was on the counter so I thought wow SS ate everything on his plate. But when I went to throw something away in the trash I saw a paper towel with barbeque sauce all over it and guess what it had under it?! It was the wasted ribs and SS has tried to hide them in the trash under the paper towel. DH was sleeping of course.

So today I am going to tell him that he needs to get off his lazy a** and starting taking care of this brats because I am no longer doing regardless of how he feels. I am sick of wasting my time and money for unappreciative brats. If SS wants any special food from now on DH can buy it with his own money because I am not doing it anymore.

Comments

LittleBoPeep's picture

Did he eat any of them? Or did he just throw the entire plate away?  If I were you, for this month that they are with you I would only buy cheap stuff that you know will be eaten (hot dogs, mac and cheese, bread and meat for sandwiches).  I would be livid if I was the one paying for this food and people were wasting it.

Did your DH address it with the kid at all?

tankh21's picture

DH was asleep I am going to talk to him about it today when I get home from work. I left to go to the store and I found them in the trash when I got home so I do not know if SS just threw them away or ate a little bit and then threw it away but, I know that I will not be any kind of specific expensive food like that anymore just for one person.

ESMOD's picture

Were the ribs already cooked?  30 minutes is nowhere near long enough to cook ribs.  That may have been why he didn't eat them.. they were not done and too tough to eat? 

BUT.. I thought they were told to not throw out uneaten food... if that was the case you could have recooked them longer or fed them to your DH or something instead.

 

tankh21's picture

Yes they were cooked I them in the middle but yes both kids have been told to leave any food that they don't want on the counter instead he tried to hide it in the trash once again.

beebeel's picture

Those ribs would be his next meal and the next one after that, and after that...until they were eaten.

And start calling BS on your "D"H. Not feeling well my ass. More like didn't feel like dealing with his kids.

tankh21's picture

Yeah SS would've left them on the counter then yes we could've just told them that he has to eat them. Yeah I should not have given in.

beebeel's picture

No. I would have pulled them out of the garbage. Give them a quick rinse and tell him kids around the world would LOVE to find a rack of ribs at the dump where they forage.

Disneyfan's picture

That's disgusting.

This is only a good idea you want to give BM and husband a reason to go off on you.  You don't give kids(or anyone else for that matter) food that has been tossed in the garbage.

 

tankh21's picture

LOL There is two sides to this I think. #1 BM and DH can go off all they want because maybe they should teach their kids better and actually be parents. #2 I might have made the kid dig the ribs out of the garbage and told him what the consequences will be next time he throws food in the trash when he has been told several times already not to throw food in the trash and try to hide it. Next time video games and TV go bye bye for a whole day!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Good. For. You.

That's really it. I hate food wasting too... It's expensive and entitled imho.

I hope you got to enjoy some ribs too! (I just asusemd they were pre-cooked? I have a ribs recipe that literally takes 2 days... lol)

ESMOD's picture

Even beef short ribs need to be cooked a fairly long time to be any good.  Technically "done to temperature" My recipe takes 3 hours..

I am not trying to give SS any excuse but 30 minute short ribs would be close to inedible.... not enough time for the connective tissue to breakdown.  If you were just RE-heating ribs that had been previously cooked for hours.. that is different.

tankh21's picture

DH just called me and I told him what SS did yesterday and he asked him why he threw away the ribs. He said they had too much fat on them! I told DH I am not buying them anymore end of story.

Mrs Fireball's picture

Wow. Fat is what makes ribs taste so good! But you have said he's lazy so it may be too much work for him to pull off the fat. 

I made some hot beef sandwiches from a chuck roast and YSS took one bite and threw away his sandwich. Roast is expensive! Then he ate an ice cream sandwich 30 minutes later. So maddening. 

Last year MSS and YSS pulled a similar stunt. I smoked the ribs for 6+ hours in our smoker and made potato salad from scratch. They both refused to even try either one. So I will not be cooking that anymore when they're around. They actually sat at the table and pouted and refused to eat it. 

tankh21's picture

It's the parents fault though I mean I wasn't allowed to pull this kind of crap when I was a kid. If I put something on my plate and I didnt eat it then it would be wrapped up and put in the fridge for me to eat whenever I got hungry again.

ESMOD's picture

Ribs cooked for a long time generally the fat is part of what renders away.. not tryiing to be contrary... just giving you some cooking tips:)  Low and slow is the way to go with ribs!

But of course, he may have just wanted to ask for them just to throw them away.. but then again, if they weren't to his liking and he didn't want to get flak for complaining.. he tried to hide that he didn't eat them.

 

tankh21's picture

I have cooked them before for 30 minutes and they were done every time and he has eaten them before. They did have some fat on them. There is several issues here though. #1 He specifically asked for them and I went out of my way to make them and he just threw them away. #2 He totally tried to hide the ribs in the trash and thought he was going to get away with it #3 He has been told several times if he doesn't want the food not throw it in the trash and just put it on the counter. I know that he is a kid and he probably thought that it would've been easier to just throw it away because he thought he was going to get in trouble for it but that is not the case. DH and me have both told these kids that they won't get in trouble if they are honest about things and if they aren't honest there will be consequences. Both of the kids are also old enough to listen and to be able to follow directions like these.

I love dogs's picture

So because the ribs were too "fatty" there is no punishment for throwing away food that could've been preserved or cooked for longer, even though this is the house rule?

twoviewpoints's picture

While maybe so, the kid has still been told to leave uneaten/unwanted food on the counter. 

If all the ribs may have needed was a bit more cooking time, that could have easily been done when OP returned. Cooked a while longer and eaten for lunch today.

Instead kid, which has been repeatedly told do to do so, pitched the food in the trash and tried to hide the fact he did. 

I think it's more the kid once again just shook his fanny at the food request 'rule' and tossed the food then actually not having ate the food. 

ESMOD's picture

Maybe or the kid knew that he would get in trouble for complaining about her cooking...which has happened before. In a way, the kid really can't win...rock and a hard place.  Tank really just needs to insist that her husband deal with the kids because almost anything they do is wrong for her. 

hereiam's picture

Regardless of WHY he didn't eat the ribs, he had no business throwing them away.

I would've never, in a million years, made beef short ribs just for my SD.

Stop wasting your time and your money on these kids. Lots of parents have to take care of their kids when they are not feeling well. That's what sandwiches are for. And these kids are not toddlers.

Your husband does nothing to ensure that you are respected in your own home, stop doing him favors when it comes to his kids.

tankh21's picture

I have stopped doing things for them besides buying things at the store. I made a mistake in cooking for SS which I told DH I will not make again. I told DH no more making something just because one kid wants it unless he wants to buy it and cook it. You guys are right and it was my fault for giving in and doing anything for DH that involves his kids.

Harry's picture

reading your blogs, it’s like Groundhog Day,  The same thing different day or everyday.  Unless you change something nothing is going to change.  Your wordless DH should be at Mc Donald’s cooking hamburger instead of sitting home living off of you,  Understand he is looking for a real job  but he should be doing something.  SK are never going to change, BM is never going to change, DH is never going to change.  It your choice to join the circus, or leave.  I can’t see how you can be treated this way and you think it’s love.  1. Remember BM left your DH.  DH is still in love with BM, he try’s to play games with her because he’s hurt, being left for someone else has to hurt. But still in love.  2. When he is against the wall, and want to take off pressure he attack's you, as in the car game.  Telling you you are cheating. Can’t have a men in your car ?  Will not tell his kids that, but will tell you.  Really think it’s time to leave. 

PS unless you are a step parent people should not talk.  Being a SP has different rules.  As Bio parents can’t see how you can hate a kid  but SP can see it. 

Disneyfan's picture

Just because he left her, doesn't mean he wasn't in love with her.  Had she not cheated, chances are they would still be together.

I left my exDF because I found out he was cheating.  I loved him.  He was great to me.  He was not afraid to check his crazy BM when she got out of line.  When I went off on her, he would laugh and back me up.  He didn't allow his kids to pull any of the crap posted about here.  When I got on his kids, he backed me up.

He was a perfect mate UNTIL I found out about the cheating. I was in love with him when I ended the relationship.  There are things that I still love and miss about him.  

Moving onto a new relationship doesn't always mean you are completely over the last one.  Harry's comments are spot on.  Your husband still has a connection to BM that makes him behave the way that he does.

tankh21's picture

So you think that he still loves BM? He tries to ignore her at all costs not please her? Then he lied to me if he is not over her!

Ispofacto's picture

My XH used to pull the "I don't feel well" crap every time he was too lazy to do anything.  He even did it when we brought our first child home from the hospital.  He stayed home from work and wanted me to take care of him and the baby.  After our divorce, he was diagnosed with NPD, HPD, and OCPD.  HPDs typically fake illnesses to get others to "take care of them".  NPDs are lazy as fack.