Nothing makes me more mad then being inconsistent....
So I get up and get ready for work and YSS is sleeping on the couch again and the TV was on all night. DH just got done telling him last week that he needs to start sleeping in his own bed then this week he is right back doing what he wants. I told DH this morning that he should be consistent with what he says and not let YSS get away with that. I also don't think it's fair that just because YSS doesn't have a cable box in his room that he uses that as an excuse to sleep on the couch. OSS didn't have a TV in his room for a long time however, he still has always slept in his own bed in his room. I told DH that I am going to start taking the remotes from the living room every time YSS comes over and taking the couch cushions until he learns to stop being disrespectful and thinking that he can do whatever he wants. DH just looked at me with this blank stare. He says that YSS listens to him. I said yeah right then why do you tell him to do something and then he is right back to doing the opposite the next week. So when I said DH is getting better at not being a disney dad I guess I was wrong!!!
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This sleeping on the couch
This sleeping on the couch with the TV on all night seems to be an issue that your DH doesn’t have a problem with - only you.
Getting up in arms with DH is going to cause a lot of strife between the two of you. I guess you need to decide if it’s worth it.
And I get that this is a sucky situation, but you’re not at odds with only YSS over this, but DH too.
I just worry what will happen
I just worry what will happen later when when this kid thinks that he can do what he wants. I mean it's our house so I feel like I shouldn't let these kids run over adults in our house. Am I making too big of a deal about this?
I don’t think you’re making
I don’t think you’re making too big of a deal about it, but dang, DH needs to equally care and be ‘the voice’ of discipline with his child. Because it’s his child.
Sleeping on the couch is a
Sleeping on the couch is a hot button issue for me too. I don't know why it makes me bananas other than the fact that I am an early riser and I feel like I can't do what I want to in my home if someone is sleeping on the couch.
Honestly, if I was you I would invest in the cable box or a ROKU or fire stick for his room. At least he can have Netflix, Hulu or Amazon TV if you have prime in there with the ROKU or Firestick. It would be worth my sanity of a $35-$40 investment to have my house feel normal to me.
I am going to take the TV
I am going to take the TV plug and couch cushions until he learns. Not investing in any more money to make these kids happy. LOL
You can go that route but it
You can go that route but it will make you the bad guy. It is pretty passive aggressive and will probably piss your DH off. Do what your household can handle. I refuse to ever live in a step-war zone like that again.
So I guess I am the only one
So I guess I am the only one that has a problem with this kid do what he wants. I mean how pathetic is this.
I'm inclined to agree. If a
I'm inclined to agree. If a $35 device will get me what I want (kid off the couch), that's a lot easier than having to remove the cord and the couch cushions every time the kid comes. Some fights are just not worth having. (Of course, that's if it's all about the tv. If it's really a power struggle, with the kid sleeping out there because you told him not to, then it's a different issue).
It's the fact that my DH is
It's the fact that my DH is inconsistent with his kids. He put his foot down and then they are doing it again the next week to me what was the point if they are just going to do it again any way. I think DH is the problem so I need to either convince DH to be consistent or just leave.
This is the best advice so
This is the best advice so far! And you had it in you all along. I think this nails it.
Today it's sleeping on the couch. In 10 years it's snorting Adderall, or whatever kids do these days.
That's a different issue.
That's a different issue. And it probably manifests itself in many ways other than sleeping on the couch. You can fix the couch issue with a $35 stick, but that won't do a thing for the inconsistent DH issue. It sounds like the sleeping on the couch thing doesn't bother your DH near as much as it bothers you; is he consistent with the skids on things HE cares about, or is his inconsistency a constant problem?
He is inconsistent when he
He is inconsistent when he comes to his kids. He will put his foot down one week then the next week they are right back to doing the same crap over again. I don't get it at all. It seems more like he wants to make the his kid's visit as comfortable as possible by letting them do what they want. It really affects my marriage because I let it. Do you think he put his kids before me?
If your DH is inconsistent,
If your DH is inconsistent, you can't fix that. If a cable box gets you what you want, which is a kid off your couch, you can fix that.
It comes to what you want to accomplish in your household: Being right, or being at peace.
And just for the record, I don't condone your DH being inconsistent, but it's up to you to determine how much of that you're willing to handle. You can't change him.
So I guess I should just be
So I guess I should just be the bad guy and make it uncomfortable for SS to sleep on the couch.
If you want to fight, yep. Be
If you want to fight, yep. Be the bad guy. Or tell your DH enough is enough and leave. Or buy a cable box for SS's room. You have choices here. You just have to decide which you want to choose.
Exactly- It is all about the
Exactly- It is all about the fights you are willing to pick. For me, like I said, the couch is a hot button thing for me. Is is worth a fight in my household and being passive aggressive and being labeled the jerk?? NOPE. $35 fixes my issues and the world in my home is at peace. If it is a fight you want to have, if this is your line in the sand, more power to you. It just wouldn't be for me.
You aren't a jerk for feeling like you do. You just have to figure out the best solution that will make everyone as happy as possible without causing major damage. Kids wanting to watch TV and falling asleep doing so may or may not be a fight worth having.
No need for SS to be in the
No need for SS to be in the living room all night. This to stop any alone time with SO. This to controll what going on in the house. He has to be in the middle of everything, instead of being in bed room not controlling anything. Yes this would be a hill to died on. Get him a fire stick and make shore he sleeps in his room. Not only that he should have a bed time, a time where he has to be in bed.
EDITED: I'd get a cable box,
EDITED: I'd get a cable box, make my SO pay for it and take my living room back.
Didn't YSS get a computer
Didn't YSS get a computer from H as a bargain to stop?
No. He got a Smart TV in his
No. He got a Smart TV in his room.
"fall asleep" on the couch...
"fall asleep" on the couch... so when SS comes in to get comfy, you're there, and he has to go back to bed.
My son loves sleeping on the
My son loves sleeping on the couch. He has been doing it on and off for 6 years. No one in our house cares. The tv is set up to turn off automatically.
Everyone has thier “Hill” to die on. I am glad my hubby was fine with it.
We will always be bad guys-
We will always be bad guys- dh would set rules here, then get frustrated that i would follow through on HIS RULE!!!
Its a joke an effing joke no matter what the issue is... couch, food, chores, schedules, asking for respect...effing joke.
Sorry im in a very bitter place right now.
Id get a fog horn and wake him up!!
Or some pots and pans if your going to be the bad guy be a loud one!!
Why is it so hard for your dh
Why is it so hard for your dh to make his kid go to sleep in his own bed???????? OMG, I'm so damn sick of hearing about these lame 'fathers' who have no damn backbone when it comes to their DARLING kids!!!
UGH!! Obviously I'm in a f'ing PISSY mood right now. But seriously, I JUST DON't GET IT!!
Edited by moderator
I don't allow the kids to
I don't allow the kids to have electronics in their rooms. No tvs, phones, tablets. The only thing they can have is CD players. I feel that bedrooms are for quiet contemplation and relaxing. They can read, draw, listen to music, indulge in hobbies. They have screen time all day at school and for homework, the bedroom should be calm and replenishing. I disagree that the skid should be bribed with more privileged electronics to follow a house rule.