Just a rant because I have anxiety...

So OSS tells BM everything down to even our finances. We don't talk about anything personal in front of OSS. He cannot be trusted to be left alone in our house at all either. It's totally pathetic that we have to make sure that no personal information or bills are laying around when OSS comes over. I feel this kid is a loss cause. He is a pathological liar and dedicated to mommy dearest to taking my DH down. I get the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach when he gets ready to come over. Am I a terrible SM for feeling this way? I want to encourage my DH to try to have a good relationship with his son even after he is 18 but, I don't think that is going to happen. Honestly, I could care less if OSS isn't around after CS ends.

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Leave some innocuous

Leave some innocuous financial paperwork out. Put a mouse trap under it. Pour a glass of wine and pop some popcorn.

Lol. That's one way to handle

Lol. That's one way to handle it.

Lol. That's one way to handle

Lol. That's one way to handle it.

This is my specialty

This is my specialty lol.....

get some sonar pics from the internet, put it in an envelope and stick a typed address to your self on it, make it look like it's from a doctor...
sonar pic must be of triplets......

Do a fake will and testament and leave everything to him.....

or to RSPCA and no person, better yet, DH should leave everything to BM to hand to them when they turn 21, imagine the war starting then...

Make a fake will where some distant bachelor uncle left you millions of dollars...

All off these things you hide, in the usual spots he snoops.....

you can have so much fun with this lol, I did it for years with the brat and eventually SO told her to stop making up shit he's tired off it, cause every time she confronted him about our wedding he had no clue what she was talking about.... I played stupid of course and she could not do anything cause then she would have to admit to Daddy she's going through my cupboards which where off limit... making me right and her the liar...

Play with this and enjoy every moment of it hahahahah

Damn these are good ideas.

Damn these are good ideas. Thank you guys. I like the sonogram picture idea.

If he is spying for BM and

If he is spying for BM and telling her everything, you are not terrible for feeling that way. That is an awful feeling, to have someone like that in your home.

We did not leave my SD in our home alone, either. I refused to lock everything up in my own home and did not trust her not to snoop in my filing cabinets. When we bought our house, she was 10, and she asked us how much we paid for it. I know that came from BM, we told her $100.00.

The loyalty to BM, and the outright disloyalty to DH, got worse as she got older. I was actually glad when she stopped coming over, after trying to get DH to hit her. At that point, there was not much to be done about her relationship with DH, BM had completely diminished him to SD and SD was willing to go along with all of BM's shenanigans. That is when I stopped caring about my SD and became indifferent.

While our SD's weren't

While our SD's weren't actively snooping around for information, on more than one occasion, a conversation we had in front of them ended up prompting a later call by BM.

Honestly, I am not so sure BM was pumping them for information or that they were trying to get anyone in trouble.. they both.. especially the younger one.. just didn't have much filter when they talked.

We also heard about the conflicts between BM and her BF or when BM lost her job or had some other issue. We weren't pumping them for information.. it just came out of their mouths.

Eventually, we were able to get them to understand that while we aren't telling them to keep secrets from their mother that everyone has a right to privacy and just because they know something or hear something at one parent's house... it doesn't need to be repeated at the other.

But, in the end, we were fairly cagey about discussing hot topics when the kids were around...especially when they involved purchases of money since that would be a money grab motivator from BM.

OSS doesn't talk about mommy

OSS doesn't talk about mommy or his stepdad ever but asks us tons of questions even my own family. He is curt with us about anything personal. He won't tell DH anything unless he is trying to get something out of him.

That's a pain. But, since

That's a pain. But, since you know the deal, you can be prepared. No discussions of any importance in front of the kids and keep personal papers out of reach.

Yeah, we manage information

Yeah, we manage information pretty tightly when the skids are around. BM pumps the skids for information *and* they have no filter, so if I want any privacy at all, we have to keep things organized and quiet.

I'm fortunate in that they aren't very sophisticated in their snooping--and SS is terrible in his reporting--but we take all precautions. For example, we didn't even tell them we bought a new house until we had to notify their mother that we were moving. And when we did the notification, the first thing BM did was pump the skids for information (that they didn't have!).

My SD didn't know we bought a

My SD didn't know we bought a house until DH brought her home for her weekend. Partly because we wanted to surprise her, partly because we knew she would blab to BM. I knew that 10 year old SD did not care how much we paid for our house (like the number would have meant anything to her, anyway), but BM sure wanted to know!

Yeah, talk about one

Yeah, talk about one sided....

Try having the skid live with

Try having the skid live with you full time. We had SD live with us for 7 years, in that time I like to think that DH and I learned how to live in such a manner that even the FBI and CIA would be impressed.

We learned to communicate via text and even that was in shorthand so if she snooped his phone it wouldn't make any sense. Our computer history was wiped once we logged off and she never had the password to log on. All our bills and finances were kept under lock and key. Any trips we planned were done at work and not talked about until we were leaving to go on them...yeah our kids got used to alot of "surprise" trips.

The best part was we knew it was working because one time when SD was having a fit at DH she let slip that she's sick of us keeping everything from her because she feels like we are "hiding" our lives from her. DH asked her what she meant by that and she just yelled that he didn't want her to know anything because he was selfish!