SS got supended.
DH just texted me and told me that BM texted him and told him that OSS got suspended from school for fighting.
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DH just texted me and told me that BM texted him and told him that OSS got suspended from school for fighting.
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SHOCKER!
SHOCKER!
Yikes. How is DH going to
Yikes.
How is DH going to handle it?
He is going to try to talk to
He is going to try to talk to him and find out exactly what happened when he picks the skids up on 12/28. BM has them for Christmas. I told DH to go up to the school and try to find out but I doubt he will.
Well finding out what
Well finding out what happened is kind of a given.
I meant about consequences... is DH going to let BM deal with it? Is he planning on just having a conversation?
Is he telling you to let you know, or is he telling you because he wants your help in dealing with it?
consequences=extra large ice
consequences=extra large ice cream sundae
I think he is going to let BM
I think he is going to let BM deal with it. I mean it's like BM will keep him in the loop about the consequences or what happened DH will have to find out for himself. I think he was telling me because he wants me to help him deal with it.
His best bet is to call the
His best bet is to call the school, like you said.
Whatever the reasons, I hope DH doesn't put his blinders on. If he wants your help, he won't make excuses for the behavior. Test the waters before you dive in.
Ask him what is the poor
Ask him what is the poor CODs favorite movie and flavor of ice cream.....get a jump on the “punishment “ your DH will give him.
By the time he finds out it's
By the time he finds out it's really too late to do anything. You can't wait a week plus to punish a kid for something and it actual have a positive impact.
BM has to handle this one on her own if she doesn't coparent with him. Or he needs to get the kid on the phone and deal with it now.
lol, sure he can. Talk on
lol, sure he can. Talk on phone. extra short visit.
If the kid can have two of everything good like birthday parties, christmas, beds because he is a child of divorce and has two homes, he can most certainly have two of every punishment as well because he has two parents.
precisely - consequences need
precisely - consequences need to be given in close proximity to the event bringing them about, not 10 days later when dad sees kid.
Oy vey...
Well BM won't co-parent with
Well BM won't co-parent with she will leave it up to her beta DH so what can my DH do at this point?
I remember these days. BM2
I remember these days.
BM2 would call DH to tell him that SS got arrested for shoplifting, got caught stealing cigs, got in a fight, got suspended, was MIA at age 14 all night at some drinking party... you name it. So DH would have a talk, or yell, or whatever he thought appropriate with SS... one time he made him stack wood, one time he made him clean old chicken shit out of our barn.... but EVERY time???? SS would run home to BM and tattle that DH was being "mean" and BM2 would call DH up and bitch about his "parenting" skills and remind him that he was a shitty father and could do no right and we'd wait til the next time SS acted up and repeat the whole stupid process.
SS19 is now a high school drop out who spends his days playing video games, sleeping and smoking dope. BM should be proud!
I get what you are all are
I get what you are all are saying. I mean I remember when I was grounded for making a D in algebra. Nothing will happen to OSS he will probably get coddled by BM and then she will buy him a new video game. I think DH should be involved in things like this however, BM will do what she can to make sure he's not. Like I said the only thing that he can do is call the school and speak with them.
DH could set up a meeting
DH could set up a meeting with the principle and with OSS and ask that BM not be included as she is on a path of alienating him from the kids lives. At that point DH could put the fear of god in the kid and let the school know that from here on out if there are any issues he gets a phone call as well as BM. But he won't because Disneyland is more fun.
I am sure it’s not SS fault.
I am sure it’s not SS fault. Other kid must of been picking on SS and it’s was a matter of Fate that the fight started.
Thank Goodness that SS saved the world.
Frankly, it sounds like your
Frankly, it sounds like your DH is happy to let his EX deal with stuff regarding the kids. It's no wonder she feels in total control over everything that concerns them. Your husband set up this dynamic by not getting involved and just letting her take the ball and run with it.
Number one, your DH needs to get the kid's school information and become involved and aware of what is happening. Number two, your husband should be calling the school to get the details on the fight. Maybe it was SS's fault, maybe he was just fighting back (and these days "everyone" involved gets a punishment... zero tolerance).
No matter what the case is, he needs to discuss this with his child as soon as possible. Even if just over the phone. And.. if needed, dad can give him a consequence though I seem to remember knowing my parents were disappointed in me was pretty big punishment for me.
Even if it was a case of SS being picked on, your DH needs to explain the fact that schools aren't going to try to sort out blame and that he will get in just as much trouble so he needs to work on his self control and avoiding conflict situations. If the school says he is the aggressor, then dad should be meting out a punishment as well. Perhaps he could write a short essay to explain how he knows what he did was wrong etc...? I know that isn't the beating you would prefer..lol... but your DH needs to get more involved in his kid's lives. It sounds like he is happy to let his ex do it all.. that sounds lazy though maybe it's conflict avoidance. Either way, not doing the boys any good.