You are here

Hell and there after....

tankh21's picture

So a week ago DH and me got into a huge fight about this beach trip that I planned because he wanted to bring the skids and MIL and I canceled the trip altogether.  Fast foward to this afternoon....I get a text message from DH saying that MIL still wants to go on the beach trip.  I told DH that I was not changing my mind and that the trip was still canceled.  He then blows up at me and tells me that I hate the skids and MIL and that if it was my family it would be a different story.  Then he said that I am cheating on him.  LOL  Where that came from I have no idea.  Maybe he is the one cheating who knows.  It will come out sooner or later if he is. 

But, mind you this crap was over and done with a week ago and now he is bringing it up again.  I asked him why he would want to be with someone who hates his kids and mother and someone that he cannot trust.  I looked at me with this blank stare and said that he didn't know and then walked off.  I think honestly he wants me to be the bad guy and he doesn't have the balls to tell me it's over and he is trying to drive to say it's over.  Well I asked him to give me an answer about what he wants and he couldn't.  I just ignored me and told me to leave him alone.  I will do just that.  Then when he comes running back it will be too late.  

Comments

Harry's picture

That his kids and mother is not getting a vacation that payed by your family.  Your main problem is this is not going to go away.  He wants a happy family even though his wife is not going to be happy.   Can’t you do a vacation by yourself and another vacation at another time with SK. ? He own you a vacation by yourselfs. I am sure he went on vacation with BM before the kids.  You should get the same 

StepUltimate's picture

I am sorry you are being treated like that TankH21. I have been reading your blogs and sad to hear he's choosing this way.

Powerfamily's picture

I asked him why he would want to be with someone who hates his kids and mother and someone that he cannot trust.  Why are you so determined to stay in this relationship.

SM12's picture

sounds like maybe your DH didn’t fess up to MIl that the trip was cancelled and instead of spilling the beans he is trying to bully and guilt you into moving forward with the trip.   If it was my money paying for the trip and my DH invited the skids or anyone without my knowledge or agreement, I would cancel too.   At this point your DH is really pushing his luck.  Plan a trip for yourself...tell him his becAuse has him uninvited also.  And he can take the skids and mil on their own trip if he’s so concerned about it.  Maybe mil will offer to pay 

SM12's picture

sounds like maybe your DH didn’t fess up to MIl that the trip was cancelled and instead of spilling the beans he is trying to bully and guilt you into moving forward with the trip.   If it was my money paying for the trip and my DH invited the skids or anyone without my knowledge or agreement, I would cancel too.   At this point your DH is really pushing his luck.  Plan a trip for yourself...tell him he is uninvited also.  And he can take the skids and mil on their own trip if he’s so concerned about it.  Maybe mil will offer to pay 

hereiam's picture

Wait, he told his mother about the trip that you were planning for just the two of you (and then had to cancel)? Why would he even tell her?

I find it funny that she "still" wants to go, when you had not invited her in the first place. Your husband can take her, then.

I think honestly he wants me to be the bad guy and he doesn't have the balls to tell me it's over and he is trying to drive to say it's over. 

Even if you are the one to say, "it's over", it doesn't make you the bad guy. Of course, that won't stop him from being the victim.

Iamwoman's picture

Tankh - you don't deserve any of this!

I mean seriously??!! All you did was demand to be treated as any decent human being would treat another! You weren't asking for anything special or "extra" at all. Grrrr.

So, in my experience, when a man accuses a woman of cheating on him (unless she actually is, which I never have, so my experience is limited to being accused of cheating when I have not), it is because the man is cheating. I do believe your first reaction to his accusatory statement is correct. A thief thinks everyone steals is the phrase  - which can be translated to a cheater thinks everyone cheats.

It seems it is time to create your exit strategy. Make sure you get everything you can that is yours, and some of his too for having to put up with his bullcrap (I call this the garbage exit fee).

thinkthrice's picture

2nd husband used to accuse me of this all.the.time.   Turns out he was the one that was cheating.

Pure Projection

Siemprematahari's picture

Tank~Glad you are remaining firm with not going to the beach. If MIL wants to go so bad she can take the step kids and have a great time. I would have canceled it also, afterall how could you consider that a vacation with those pain in the @sses around.....

Do what makes you happy!

CLove's picture

If my husband accused me of cheating, I would wonder about him myself!

I am at the point that I see several other Steps -not really wanting to go on a vacation with skids. SAme now with Munchkin SD12. She complains about everything, thinks nothing of telling you how bored she is, and then doesnt seem very appreciative after all is said and done.

Last weekend, we took a 2 hour drive to get to a festival that I was really excited about. Got everyone out of the house and then hear complaints when we got there that "she didnt get anything!" Well do you have money? No? Well I brought enough for me to get some stuff I liked and then paid for gas and some refreshments. So, pouts and attitude. And "well you got something and I only got this!!!!"

I have bought her plenty along the years...plenty. Her father is always buying stuff for her so she now expects it. Just so many reasons that I dont really want to take SD out anywhere or go anywhere as a family.

Doesnt sound like fun to hang out with this for more than a day away. And that was just a small taste.

tankh21's picture

Thank you guys so much for your support.  I do not know what I would do without you guys and this website.  It is a god send that there is people out there who know what I am going through and how I feel.