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I can’t stand BM

strugglingSM's picture

BM fills me with an irrational hatred. She is manipulative, spiteful, juvenile, and entitled. Well, maybe it’s a rational hatred when I consider all she’s done.

This week she sent DH a text saying SS12 has “burnt his back very badly” by leaning on a lit fireplace and DH needed to be sure it didn’t get infected. She did not take SS to the doctor, only sent him with gauze pads, bacitracin, and hydrogen peroxide. This is the same women who sent DH no fewer than 7 texts when he would not take SS12 to the hospital when he was with us after he called BM convinced he had a concussion, even though he barely played in his football game and took no hits. DH has had concussions, so he asked SS what he was feeling and felt confident that he didn’t have one (also because SS took no hits and made no hits in his football game). After calling BM on the phone, crying to her, and having her assure him that she would call and reprimand DH, SS12 was fine, because really he just wanted his dad to get scolded by his mother. However, the texts kept coming. She also sent DH five angry texts when SS12 got a stomach virus two days after staying with us. She told DH that because he had pneumonia, he gave SS12 a stomach virus, even though no one in our house had a stomach virus. She told DH that she had to take SS to the doctor and it was all his fault. But of course, the kid totally burns himself on her watch and acts like it’s no big deal. She even had the nerve to say to DH “boys hurt themselves.” The witch would have called the cops if the same thing had happened at our house. Also, when this same SS was 3, he fell and hurt himself while DH was watching (not badly). BM hitl DH repeatedly and called him an a-hole while he was holding the crying child.

The thing that really bugs me is that she’s passing on all her bad behaviors to SSs. They are never required to do anything (the other SS has switched teachers three times this year because he was getting Cs and BM was sure that it wasn’t his fault - now she wants to medicate him because she says he has OCD). They also both have temper tantrums like she does, even though they are in middle school. Last summer, one of them cried, screamed, and threw things for 90 minutes because we told him he had to stop using his tablet at 10:30pm (he was 11 at the time). 

DH likes to tell me that I should love his children because they are “half him”, but they’re also half BM (both look like her and both act like her) and I find her detestable, so sometimes, it’s really difficult to even like my SSs.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

" “burnt his back very badly”

this could mean just about anything as to severity. Burns are not something to play with. I'd have DH go get his kid and take him to at least the prompt care clinic to have the back and burns looked at (for a professional opinion, but a BM guess). If BM refused to allow Dh I'd call CPS to do a home visit. 

Infection is a real possibility. 

 

Harry's picture

Take him to some medical place ASSP. So you get it on record it came from BM.  Before she tried to pin it on you or DH.  That it happen on your watch 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I was going to say what they're saying above. boys may "hurt themselves" but something like a burn isn't something to mess with. I have two mongo scars on my arms that are only getting better after YEARS of scar cream after they got infected and I refused to go to a doctor in high school... I wouldn't play with it... Infections hurt, and it's never fun to deal with bloody and pussy infected burns until you finally admit something is wrong and fix it, but then there are scars by then.

As for the tantrums, i jsut want you to know you have my sympathy... BM throws them too... She tries to call it "anxiety." *eye roll* but there's a VERy distinct difference in the two issues, and hers is definitley tantrums.

strugglingSM's picture

Ah yes, the BM in my life tries to blame her "anxiety" for her irrational behavior. Really, I think she has a personality disorder and is just a detestable person. Claiming anxiety is good for getting her sympathy from others, however, like MIL. 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Well if you call your tantrum anxiety then everyone is going to fawn over you... Right?... *gag*