Is there any real solution for this problem?
This blog was inspired by some recent blogs which I feel cut to the heart of the dissatisfaction and resentment that many STalkers feel. The SM has made her husband her first priority. He on the other hand, puts her last place behind his kids, BM, and any grandkids that are born. When it is your skids that take, take, and take without giving anything back you can disengage.
What do you do when you realize that it is your husband who sees you as a servant and ATM to everyone else? Is there any point? If leaving your husband is not an option, how do you find your own happiness in such a situation?
I have a feeling that some men make their daughters mini-wives because they enjoy the feeling of two women fighting over them. Instead of getting jealous and playing into the evil sm stereotype, is it possible to play the game better than your DH/SD.
- stepinafrica's blog
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shaZAM - i see what u did
shaZAM - i see what u did there!!!!
I am so happy that I don't
I am so happy that I don't have stepdaughters. It would have made my situation all that much harder at the beginning.
" STOP" just stop doing what
" STOP" just stop doing what your doing. That was what worked for me. Stop being the ATM , stop catering to everyones needs if it is not your responsibility. If your Dh is expecting you to cover for him when he makes promises to others that he is not in a position to keep, let him deal with the embarrassment . Stop tying to win their approval.
Definitely stop being a
Definitely stop being a servant and an ATM.
Find your voice and tell your DH what's what. Start putting yourself first, before him, and live your own life. See how he likes that. Stop giving him the feeling that he has women fighting over him.
It's always possible to play the game better, if you want your marriage to be a game.
To be honest, I've never had this problem, my DH has always put us first. Had I not been certain that that would be the case, I wouldn't have gotten serious with him in the first place.
Both DH and I put each other
Both DH and I put each other first.
The kids could play games, manipulate and abuse us to try and say "you put him/her before me" or get nasty messages from the ex "your kids don't want to see you anymore because of her/him"
But in the end, why did the first marriage fail?
Because the ex was "too busy with the kids? Too busy with work? cheating?" The list could go on and on, but the underlying issue is that they didn't put THE MARRIAGE FIRST!
Skip the "blended family websites" for advice on how to have a lasting marriage, check out the regular sites that all say "take time away from the kids for just the two of you & put you husband and wife first.
Could you ever stop loving your child? No
Could your child stop loving you? No
So putting MORE effort into your relationship with your child than your spouse makes no logical sence!
Ok, I'm off my soapbox now.lol
As do I.
As do I.
Your posts reads like my old
Your posts reads like my old ones. I did leave. The divorce will be final next week. I was dead last and sick if their usary crap. There was no way I was living the rest of my life like that. He was not worth it.
I bought a house. Moved out with my kids. Peace ensued and when he came back to ask me to try to work on things, I reluctantly agreed (shouldn't have) and found out he was never going to change and I wasn't putting up with their crap. Living with an adult SD lazy ass mini wife. And he had been rude to my son. He told me a week ago that he had the right to make rules and enforce them on my kids. Uh no. Your house is filthy and disgusting. And your kids are useless punk assed kids. So NO. I have great kids. Smart. Funny. Sweet. Not perfect but they help me out around our house.
Leaving was the best option for me. Can't speak for you but I'm not living with that crap and their drama.
This is the truth. All the
This is the truth. All the way.