You are here

OT Just got flamed on a legal advice board

step off already's picture

Was asking Qs about going after our worthless BM for child support and nailing her for breaking the Restraining Order.

I got a BUNCH of responses stating that this was not my issue, have DH ask his own questions, not my problem.

I was like WOW!

I know it is NOT my legal issue but I'm obviously the one who handles our legal matters in our home, prepare paperwork, etc AND I have to deal with the results of this woman's craziness and her NOT paying any child support but ALWAYS having money to take SS13 to the movies, buy him crap that doesn't fit, buy him video games, etc - but when we ask her for $ for school supplies, she'll say "If you can afford private school, I'm sure you can afford school supplies. I'm low income" YUK>

I guess I won't be straying from ST much anymore...

Comments

step off already's picture

LOL. Clearly and obviously, that was my first thought.

Glad I'm not the only one thinking that way.

mommyof1girl1boyangel's picture

see, i can't say i agree witht the whole "not my kid not my problem" ESPECIALLY with legal matters simply because you are MARRIED! (in most cases) no step parents may not have the legal authority in eyes of court but it affects them just the same and it IS their problem. if they dont' want it to be, there are deeper issues.

the vows are usually "for better/worse richer/poorer sickness/health" not "i'll do me, you do you, we are merely married fuck buddies that live in teh same house and call eachother husband and wife.

ok rant over

step off already's picture

I agree. I can not go out of my way for skid, but I can't totally disengage. I have children of my own and WE have one on the way. Skid lives with us full time. I manage the household. Period.

We are a family and we each have roles and a big part of mine involves running the finances and running the children.

step off already's picture

I know. I got the idea it was a bunch of man-haters on there wondering what the new wife was up to and why she was being so involved and mean to the poor, poor ex wife who can't seem to catch a break.

tryingmom's picture

Has the Man Haters Club branched out to legal advice blogs now too?? Wow...they are taking over the world. SMDH. BM is the treasurer of her local chapter, they have no money, cry broke and expect someone to pay for all their mistakes, but I think that is in the bylaws. }:)

Ex4life's picture

Let me guess; Freelegaladvice.com?

They are hard on anyone who asks a question that does not pertain to them. Stepparents are hit especially hard and told that they are over-stepping.

In one aspect I can agree that we may not always have the correct information or all of the information, but on the other hand a lot of times it DOES pertain to us in the end. They say they are strictly a LEGAl advice site, but they can get pretty personal. They advice you get there though is usually spot on though when you get to court.

step off already's picture

There were two attorneys responding, a GAL that was also an attorney and then just some people with personal experience. The attorney and the Gal/ attorney was definitely reprimanding me for asking a question that did not apply to ME but rather than DH.

It wasn't avvo, but it was a similar site.

whatwasithinkin's picture

LOL I know that sight they are brutal to Step parents. its not your business have your husband log in for answers. yep been there and done that ...a holes

Kilgore SMom's picture

Who gives a sh** who ask the question all that was needed was a answer? That just goes to show SMs are stereo typed. Bm use to rule the world but that is slowly changing. The fathers are getting more rights every day. Just not fast enough to help while we're raising our Skids.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Oh come on, didn't you ladies all get the memo?
We are simply in our DHs lives as decoration and as helpers. We are there to facilitate babysitting, cleaning, cooking, financial advice, half of the household income, half of all vacations, half of the household duties. We are NOT allowed, under ANY circumstances, to have an opinion, or a life or GOD FORBID, EVER have any type of input as far as the BMs and their spawn go. I JUST had this conversation with someone yesterday when they said that SS20s mother's side of the family were all up in arms because I had the NERVE to insist SS20 get his shit together or get the FUCK out of our home. WHO AM I BITCHES? I am just a zero on the left as far as they are concerned. Lucky for them, their opinion means jack diddly squat to me.

hereiam's picture

My husband's business is my business and I will stick my nose in it whenever I see fit.

Besides, he will be the first one to tell you that he would be lost without me. Wink

step off already's picture

Word!

Lalena75's picture

I pose all legal questions on those sites as if I'm SO, I learned my lesson the first time and my question was relevant to me and BM's threats towards me. I'm the one writing things out, holding SO's hands, researching, and getting advice per his request to do so.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

DH would have gotten RAKED OVER THE COALS in his last court case if it hadn't been for me. It IS my issue because we're partners, and we live together. We share finances and raise children together.

When I'm helping shoulder the responsibilities, you can bet your ass I'll be helping make the decisions in our house.

Him asking his own questions and handling his own business is how he ended up with 3 children by 3 different women to start with. Gimme a freaking break.

RedWingsFan's picture

I once posted stepdevil issues on another parenting board. They tarred, feathered and roasted me alive. According to them, kids are all precious gifts from God that have to be worshipped as such, given everything they ever ask for and treated as the little princes and princesses they are.

You'd have thought I slowly tortured baby kittens in front of them or something. I was the EVIL wicked stepmother because I actually asked how to get my DH and SD talking to each other again. I was told to stay out of their lives. One woman even told me to move out (a month after we were married) and let him and precious princess live together until she was 18, then I could pick up where we left off!

RedWingsFan's picture

Yeah it was crazy. I was floored. I actually took what they said to heart at first and told DH and he goes "Are you nuts? They've never met us, have no idea what our situation is or what goes on here and you're gonna listen to them?"

I got snapped back into reality and then found this site and was home sweet home!

RedWingsFan's picture

LOL you're funny! I couldn't give baby kittens vodka but they could have as much cake as they wanted!

RedWingsFan's picture

DH pointed to a photo of like 25 kittens on someone's couch and said "That would be you if we weren't together"!!!!!!!!!!! I can't lie, I love the little kitties!

RedWingsFan's picture

It was quite dark and scary there with all those HOLIER THAN THOU parents. I heard, "She's JUST a little kid, she didn't ask for her parents to divorce" and "She doesn't lie to hurt you, she's just confused".

After I was basically roasted over an open pit, I escaped before they could turn me over!