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Surprise Custody

Patricks82's picture

My husband and I have been together since 2004 married since 2007. Throughout our relationship we have been fighting both his ex and mine for custody, court ordered visitation etc. recently his ex has started divorce proceedings with her 3rd husband. So this last spring she started calling my husband at random offering to let him see his son. Every time she offered he went even if I had to go to work for him no big deal.
The 1st Tuesday of November she called and asked if she could come to the house to talk about SS we of course agreed. She showed up at 3 pm with SS in tow, came inside and basically said she couldn't handle him anymore. He was getting in trouble at school, minor vandalism at a local store, plus her new "roommates" don't like him and had been locking him out of the house despite it being winter. Which resulted in neighbors calling troopers. She said either we take him or she was going to have the store press charges. This was a no brainer we of course said yes she said ok goodbye walked out the door and left. Kid had a backpack with diapers, wipes, dirty clothes "1 outfit", snow boots "too big", jacket "xxxl". She didn't bring any of his belongings, clothes, didn't even tell us what school or time it started. We knew almost nothing about his medical history, had no custody paperwork, nothing.
So I spent the next 2 hours calling my family to find out what school and what pick up and drop off times were. Then made a trip to store for clothes, to my mom & sister for incontinence supplies. Get him fed, bathed and put to bed in the empty room. Tell the 21 year old to wake husband and I up for work at 11pm. Go to sleep only to wake up because SS is screaming bloody murder "don't touch me" took me hours to calm him down. When hubby or FS went in the room to try to calm him down the screaming/nightmare got worse.
Went to work came home woke him up made him shower, eat and get ready for school. Then drive him an hour and a half to school because husband is still working. Go home take a nap, get up take the drive out to school to pick him up. Only to have a teacher escort him out and demand a meeting in her office. At this point I find out he is in special ed classes and is supposed to take medication for ADHD. Also find out he has no school supplies, gym shoes, snowpants, incontinence supplies or spare clothes. Also owes the office $50 because he ordered pizza without permission or money.
Get home wake husband fill him in he drives out to BM house only to find she moved out. So he goes to her sisters house and tells her that we need medication and incontinence supplies.

Comments

KittyKatMomma's picture

Did anybody consider .....GOING TO COURT TO FILE FOR EMERGENCY CUSTODY?!
Getting him to a dr to see what the extent of his health problems are?

Perhaps the child would be better off in a SN school where they are more equipped to handle children like your SS.

And just how old is this child that he needs diapers and incontinence supplies?
Is it a medically issue or is he just too lazy to use the bathroom properly?

twoviewpoints's picture

She only mentions one SS in profile. I'm clueless on the who and why of the 21,20 and 30 yr old housemates/foster kids thing.

Maybe OP will give backstory. I was surprised the teenage forum link (which I read first) was the same OP as the one over on this side when I started reading blogs.

The pizza bit may be simple lunch food kid wasn't suppose to order situation (ordered instead of sack lunch?) but yeah, I'm confused even after reading three of OP's postings.

Livingoutloud's picture

If this child is very delayed as it appears to. he clearly has more than ADHD and it was not caused by "nurture"- as you mentioned in other posts. Take this child to a pediatrician asap. Meet with school officials and ask for a copy of his IEP. Read his diagnosis/spec ed certification. Meet with his case manager at the school. If you dont know who is the case manager go see school counselor and ask who is the case manager.

This child has serious needs.

Livingoutloud's picture

So all of this happened in the past? He has been in the hospital since December? I was replying with suggestions thinking that what happened at the school is recent.

mommadukes2015's picture

File for emergency custody on grounds of abandonment. Find out how soon you can take FMLA leave. Get that kid to a doctor and request a psychological eval. Ask for a CSE meeting and get briefings from his teachers regarding this school year. Ask the school social worker what kinds of services are availibke to your family-each state has a state run agency.you need a social worker like yesterday.