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Possible child support or maybe supervised/father scheduled visits

Alapheria's picture
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In all my other posts, in talking about how horrible BM is to my SD's 7&4. She doesn't properly take care of them, not regular with her visits, causes problems between us and skids and us and her in-laws ( DHs high school buddy "BM's new husband" and family). She pays NOTHING towards the upbringing of the girls, no medical expenses (not even cough meds from the dollar store) or even proper school supplies. Turns out everything she gets for the girls is given to her through her city charity or friends, discounted clothes that the girls will never wear and they told her they hated, or just crap she has laying around. But with her son with her new hubby, she buys him brand new everything, takes care of him like he's the new baby Jesus. Her and her husband has a job, but she can't be bothered to take care of the girls. She manipulated the girls into lying to, disrespecting and even verbally hurting me and DH. They live with us full time but it seems all the work we put into raising them goes up in flames during the few hours she gets the girls when she decides it's convenient for her to get them. We are starting to financially struggle especially with the kids doctor bills and medications from always getting sick from going over there and even the head lice they get from BMs house. 
 

Is there a way we can take her back to court and ask for child support or at least try to put more limitations so we're not struggling day by day while she causes problems but doesn't contribute anything towards HER KIDS?

i can't work because of severe carpal tunnel, tendinitis and severe nerve damage plus I stay home with the girls and our 2yo son so my husbands income is all we have. We have our own house, 2 vehicles and lots of medical bills while BM has 2 incomes (hers and her husband's), living rent free on her in laws property in a shed, government insurance (WellCare) so she pays nothing for medical bills (she lies about income). 

tog redux's picture

Yes, of course you can take her back to court. Has the court ordered DH to have full custody or did BM just hand it over? 

Alapheria's picture

She handed it over since she didn't want the responsibility. Court was going to give him custody anyways because he was the only one with a stable job, stable income, stable home and she only has family who are druggies and sex offenders

Thumper's picture

What work does bm do?

Yes, you can take her back to court. Question I have is, what does current court order say about child support and MOMs visitation AND is she required to pay part of medical?

 

 

Alapheria's picture

CO says no child support is required and she's not responsible for any expenses. She told DH and his lawyer, "I'll give you the kids without a fight if you make me not responsible for any finances and I get the Hyundai" she only gets EOWE visitation which she's being flakey on and not holding her CO visitation times 

tog redux's picture

Consult an attorney. Original orders get overturned all the time. If a woman wanted CS over an original order, they'd give it to her in a hot minute.

BUT - what has changed? He agreed to take the kids without any financial support from her (AND he gave her the car?) - so the court will want to know why he now needs money (if he were a woman trying to get CS, they wouldn't question that, but with a man, they will, most likely).

Alapheria's picture

When they divorced, they were buying a house with his parents. DH was splitting the bills 50/50 with his parents. Now we have our own house, paying fully ourselves and we had our son so there's another member of our household. We have 2 vehicles, one we're still making payments on, the 2 girls are in school which brings more financial payout for supplies, doctor visits, clothes and school activities and any extra curricular activities. There's a lot more coming out now than there was when they were together, because we're actually making a life for us and our family whereas they weren't doing much on their own since she was very unstable in their relationship with all the cheating and walking out on him every chance she got. 

thinker's picture

I believe the child support belongs to the child, not the parent, in the eyes of the law, and is always modifiable within certain perameters, and is based on a state statute that cannot be contracted around, so if some time has passed and you can prove that she owes child support using the state calculator, then it will be awarded. 

ESMOD's picture

BM has "one income" not two.. when it comes to the calculations of what she might owe for Support.

I know she gets the benefit of her husband's salary.. but in no way shape or form should his income be taken into account when deciding what she pays.

You say she lies to get the medical insurance.. don't they have a way of confirming that through reported records.. tax records?I would think she would have to admit to what her employer reports.

Now, if she is working under the table.. well.. unless you really want to go the extra mile to have that proved by hiring a detective.. etc.. I am guessing the net end game is that she will never end up making enough to pay support.

So.. you can take her to court but it's blood from a stone time.  If she is a bottom feeding , low/no income earner.. it is unlikely your SO (who must make more money) will get anything ordered for CS.  It's a tough pill to swallow, but he had kids with someone that is a dependent leech on society.. so he is going to have to pay the full burden himself.

Alapheria's picture

I know her income decides child support. She works full time at Walmart and her husband is on his 5th job in 3 or 4 years doing I'm not sure what. He's actually paid under the table so she claims on taxes and government assistance that her husband is unemployed and she's the only income.  

Rags's picture

SP income certainly should not be considered and rarely is    considered for CS calculation..... depending on the state.

Though the court insisted my income could not be considered for setting the SpermIdiot's CS obligation for my SS I was required to provide that info to the court . I refused and was threatened with contempt if I did not provide it.  Logic was not the Judge's strong suit since he had just told me that I was not a party  to the case.  He did not appreciate my stance that if I was not a party to the case then my financial information was not required.

Long story as short as possible, the SpetmIdiot was given an income reduction credit of -$1000/mo (the maximum allowed) due to my income.  This reduced his CS by $50/mo.   I was livid that the POS got any benefit from my income.  The judge insisted that my income had no impact on CS when he just awarded the income reduction credit because"(BioDad) should not be punished by having to contribute to an artificial standard of living for the child due to StepDad's high income."  I would not let that idiot perspective go unchallenged and kept demanding the judge explain how my income could be used in establishing CS when the State rules clearly stated SP income was not used in establishing CS.   I had the Judge stammering and slamming his Fisher-Price wooden hammer on his desk while threatening me with contempt if I didn't shut up.

So, depending on your State, SParent income can be considered.

Alapheria's picture

I'll look into that since that could help us since their "family" has 2 incomes and our household only has 1 and can only have one until I get approved for surgery to try and fix it or they put me on disability. If she refuses to pay any sort of child support, which I'm sure she'll find a way to, DH and I want to have the possibility to limit or even revoke any visitation she has.

Rags's picture

Nope.

Visitation and CS are not connected.  It is the extremely rare court that will end visitation over non payment of CS.

As infuriating as a non supporting deadbeat parent may be, the kid should not be punished and kept from that parent for their idiot parent not paying CS.

The courts will  not care about one income households Vs two income households or additional children that you and DH may have.  However, they do tend to require that both BioParents participate in the support of their children.  Sadly the courts also are highly biased in favor of BMs and against BioDads so a custodial BioDad can certainly experience far more difficulty in obtaining CS from an NCP BM than a CP BM experiences in getting courts to take CS from an NCP BioDad.

Alapheria's picture

The girls hate going to her anyways. They always come home complaining about how horrible they're treated with BM and say they never want to go back over there. 

Rags's picture

It is sad that is the case.  Though without notable abuse or neglect the courts are not likely to terminate visitations rights for the NCP.  Just because kids do not like visiting the NCP does not usually result in the courts ruling for no visitation.  

Certainly if the NCP does not take their visitation they cannot be forced to take it, but if they insist on taking their COd visitation it can be extremely painful on the CP to deny COd visitation.

Be careful.

still learning's picture

DH and I want to have the possibility to limit or even revoke any visitation she has.

Unless it is proven that BM is a threat to her children, this will never happen.  Rags is right, CS and visitation are not connected. If anything a judge would award BM custody if DH is trying to block her access to the kids.  

ndc's picture

Have you run your state's child support calculator?  CS is something you can go to court without a lawyer for, as it's usually a set calculation.  As previously pointed out, BM's husband's income doesn't count, nor does the fact that they get free housing with the in-laws.  If you run the calculator and it turns out BM should be paying CS, then your husband should file for it.

Alapheria's picture

I just did. It says anywhere from 605-750. That's basing her income off what the pay at Walmart is times how many hours she says she works a week.

Rags's picture

The CS calculator also probably factors in parenting time.  Was there a field for entering the parenting time for both your DH and BM?

Rags's picture

Interesting.   I have not run into a State CS calculator that does not include a parenting time component. But... I have only dealt with 2.

still learning's picture

Wow, that's a lot of CS for someone who works at Walmart.  Good luck with that.  

EveryoneLies's picture

I doubt that's the monthly amount? I'm guessing it's more like an annual amount. But event 10% of visitation can reduce that too, so...