I wouldn't take the things SS6 asked and your BF's answers to them to heart. Kids that age are really curious about how people connect together. Your BF had appropriate responses -- if he had started bad-talking BM then that would be innappropriate. I try really hard to make it so that it doesn't seem TABOO to talk about BM in our house. I mean just random mentionings, not talk bad! I think that if you make it no big deal then they can't ever make drama out of it.

You say your only fights with BF are about BM, and that when they were together she ran the show. There are a TON of guys like this. If you are upset about something BM does (like overstepping boundaries) try as hard as you can to not be emotional about it...but be logical and come up with solutions. Guys like solutions. Give him an idea for a way he can respond to BM.

When I first started dating my fiance and he would tell me conversations/arguments he and BM had about the kids, I started to recognize that she was manipulating him. Thankfully, I've dealt with a master manipulator in my life and the book "In Sheep's Clothing" helped me SO MUCH. I gave it to DF. I outlined a few things in it (the tactics manipulators use and how to combat them). Specificially, BM always beats around the bush and doesn't answer a question he asks her. She is a master at changing the subject and then DF never gets his answer. So I told him he needs to focus on what his question was, keep asking it until she answers it. Their conversations are sooooo much better now.

Just give him logical solutions/ideas for dealing with BM so you can all reach appropriate boundaries.

I love it when BF's now 7 year old princess talks about BM and how wonderful something is. BF just squirms because he despises that cheating hose bag so badly. I don't really care if I have to hear how wonderful she is because he is biting his tongue and I find it pretty amusing. }:) }:) }:)

I wouldn't worry about the questions. My skids & DH talk about BM. It's annoying, but I have to remember that she IS their mother.

They will tell DH they love Mom, but on the same note they will tell him they love me, too. I could also see DH telling skids that BM is pretty, because obviously he thought so when they met & as a Daddy I don't think that he would want to tell the spawn of himself and another woman that one party is ugly.

One thing my skids do (mind you they are little) is say "... like momma's!". It could be a song on the radio, a shirt that I have in my closet, or a fingernail polish bottle. "That's like momma's!" or, "That's like at momma's house!". I usually just say something automatic.. "Oh, really? Cool!" or, "Really? I like this song too!". Gotta deal with it. I'm not saying it's not ANNOYING! Trust me, I don't give a shit about what momma has at her house, or that you hear this song driving in her vehicle. It's aggrivating, but it's not their fault. They don't understand, & in your case, maybe he's just curious!