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Step dog *updated*

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

My DH lives apart from me most of the time. At the beginning of summer I sent our dogs to live with him. He wanted them originally and I was tired of the barking and the mess and that I couldn't freely travel because I babysat. I have cats. 3 mostly polite, well adjusted cats.

Somehow he went full crazy and adopted a 3rd giant slobbery GSD puppy. Without asking me. He brought all 3 with him when he came home for December and the two older dogs are ok. I spent time training them and teaching them acceptable boundaries. I call these my bio dogs. The third dog is my "bonus dog". She is ill trained, has no boundaries and chews everything up she can get her meaty man paws on. She chewed up 2 pairs of BD6's underwear, a box holding one of MY gifts, some mail that I didn't immediately put out of reach and now my favorite pair of vintage adidas. She also decided to chase one of my cats at 4AM and half jumped on the bed to get to the fleeing feline. She landed in my fanned out hair, suddenly jerking my head back while I was sleeping. I went from nice dreams to pure adrenaline in milliseconds. Did I mention she chewed up a pair of shoes that are no longer made anymore? DH's reaction "do you even wear them?". I do but does it fking matter? I valued these shoes enough to keep them with me for the last 15 years. I upgraded the laces and kept the leather conditioned. They were in the front of my closet for easy access. And now they are trash. "Did you tell her what she did wrong?" I shouldn't have to. This is his dog, he didn't teach her shit and now I have to show her a shoe and chastise her? I'm not her mother.

Manpaws broke into my daughter's room, chewed up 2 pairs of boots and a mermaid doll that we made together. She also tore up a gift that was sitting on a shelf. She is up to 170 some odd dollars of damage just today. DH is acting like I'm the asshole because I expect her to be crated if he is not actively watching her. He actually tried to hide the damage from me. She's like a feral skid that he will literally implode our marriage to protect.


princessmofo's picture

It sounds like DH could stand some "obedience" training as well. LOL Wink Bitter apple spray, or a spray bottle of water. You could spray it at DH next time he makes an asinine comment to you about the "bonus dog" or his lack of training it.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Oh I've employed thebspray bottle already. The two older dogs know when to get out of the kitchen. Manpaws puts her feet on the counter like a wild animal.

I would hose her down til the bottle is empty if I caught her in the act. She knows she shouldn't do it, that's why she's sneaky.

My first GSD did stuff like this but he was predictable. Abything at all that smelled like my perfume he would nuzzle and cuddle and chew on. He LOVED smelling me. I lost my favorite hoodie, a nice pillowcase, part of a book and a cell phone that way. I think I'm so angry this time because I didn't choose to have another dog. Manpaws is like the surprise stepkid that your husband drags home because he slept with his highschool gf 15 years ago or had an affair. She pretended I don't exist for the first few days.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

After the advice im getting on here, it is. DH is getting shown my shoes and getting sprayed when he gets home tonight.

lieutenant_dad's picture

I feel bad for the puppy who just met you and probably just wants to love you, and doesn't understand why you're upset with her. I mean, you have every right to be upset (I'd lose my marbles, too). Your DH is a parent, though, to allow this to happen.

Train her to behave at your house. My pup knows she can get away with more with DH and I than she can with my mom and SF. It takes her a bit to remember, but she catches on. Manpaws will, too.

Also, turn that spray bottle on your DH every time Manpaws does something wrong. He clearly needs to be house trained, too.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

I feel bad for her too. She was adopted into the "satellite" house and never had any idea that it was playland and not real life. She never met me before she was brought to my home. I am a stranger and she's not really comfortable with me. She doesn't understand why DH is suddenly setting boundaries and telling her to keep off the furniture. If he doesn't take her back and continue teaching her boundaries at "his" house, she's always going to have this divide in her mind of "fun" house and "rules" house. My own personal stepdog with a Disney daddy.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

I am actually an excellent animal trainer. My dogs are obedient and can do neat tricks. I am a firm believer that a well trained animal is a happy animal. They understand the rules and are comfortable, DH likes to be buddies with the dogs and Manpaws has always lived with him. She's technically a rescue since she was living in someone's backyard and was heading for the pound. I applaud his amazingly large heart but I don't think he was prepared for a third dog from scratch. I don't think he understand the incredible amount of work it took for me to get the two older dogs to this point. I know she makes him happy but I'm not willing to take on this project. When he leaves again, I'm keeping my oldest dog and he has to take the younger two to train them better. Otherwise Manpaws can't come back. This is a hard line for me and I feel like a real jerk for saying no to a puppy face.

Aniki's picture

I SO agree with you about a well-trained animal being a happy animal!! It pushes my buttons to see people get PO'd at an animal who doesn't understand what they want because they're using ONE word for TWO different things. For example, DOWN is their command for the dog to lie down on the floor/ground AND to get OFF of someone they're jumping on.

My niece-in-law recently asked me to take her youngest daughter's puppy. The moron lives in a place that doesn't allow pets. Who does that?? I simply cannot take him. My heart is still too raw and broken up from losing my darling Mr. P this summer.

Aniki's picture

No, Blonde, I do not. The thought of a new dog in our home puts me on the verge of throwing up. I simply cannot stand the idea of another dog being in places where Mr. P was: in the kitchen eating, lying by my recliner, lying by the foot of the bed, coming into the bathroom (thank you for teaching him that, DH!) to see what I'm doing... Not to mention another dog's smell taking over the lingering Mr. P smells that still cling to his many beds. :O

I simply would not be a good furbaby mom right now. I'm still mourning my canine soul mate. Sad

Aniki's picture

People who think they are "just animals" should not have them, IMHO. Every furbaby I've had has a distinct personality.
clingy Momma's boy
Daddy's haughty princess
kitty who thought he was a dog and who looooooved everyone

DH has raised/trained dogs all of his life (his grandfather trained him lol) and said he has never seen such a connection between dog and human like I had with Mr. P. It will be a long time before the wound in my heart stops bleeding.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Hugs!!! Aniki I understand! I lost my mama's girl a little while ago. I was HEARTBROKEN (still am... I cried yesterday...) If it hadn't been for my other one SUPER missing her too and getting really clingy with me (he's gone into some separation issues... If I lock him in the kitchen at bedtime like I used to he's started crying at night, whereas if he sleeps with me he's dead silent and doesn't move an inch the whole night) I don't think I would have wanted much to do with another fur baby for a long time too.

My girl started loving me as a new born (I bottle-fed all of them, mom stopped feeding them and I wasn't going to let 10 puppies go hungry) She just wanted to cuddle and followed me around every where clear until the day I lost her. I was trying to pick out the picture for her paw-print display yesterday and was a complete mess, I'm tearing up a bit here already... Losing your fur soulmate is super hard!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

It's personality too.

My boxer was basically a puppy his ENTIRE life, where as I have a lab/shepherd mix that's calm as they come. Takes life COMPLETELY SLOW. I also have a shepherd/husky that just wants to play ALL the time and won't leave my side. lol And my former heeler/lab that had TONS of energy and personality to him too.

All of them are/were well trained. So even the spazzes knew from a VERY young age what was and was not acceptable.