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Disney Stepdad

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

DH is on my last raw nerve. My BS18 is a complete butthead right now. He's rude, obstinate, lazy, refuses to take his meds, find a new therapist or go to orthodontist appointments. He got banned from his high school campus the last few weeks and then kicked out of the trade school he got into. I told him he either plays by my rules or he's on his own. He told me to go f*ck myself. He's at a homeless shelter now, refused to find a job for the month we paid his rent. Now my DH wants to get him a freaking car and keeps giving him money and has talked to the union reps on his job site to get the little jerk a job. THEN he filled out the paperwork for BS to be an apprentice. WHAT THE F*CK??? 

I keep telling DH to knock it off and he keeps saying it's my kid and don't I want him to be set up for success? I do! I've tried! The kid deliberately sabatoges everything we do for him to prove that he doesn't need us or anything. *shrug*


SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Whoa! That’s a new one! A Disney STEPDad?! :O

Why doesn’t he back off and let you deal with your adult son?!

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

kid won't talk to me. Only talks to my DH because he molly coddles the little reprobate. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

What a bizarre twist. Time for a “Come To Jesus Meeting” with your DH?

Want2's picture

I am sorry your son has sabotaged your efforts like this. If he continues the pattern with the newest opportunity I hope your enabling DH finally sees the light. But maybe just maybe the kid will do better this time. He’s had a chance to see what skid row feels like so maybe you actually scared him straight this time.

But giving him an opportunity and giving him money are two different things and I think the latter needs to stop completely! Unless DH is trying to help him become a beggar Sad

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Not sure who you are asking about but no, none of this behavior is new. DH is a super Disney dad to all 4 of our kids. BS has always been difficult but was a little more manageable before he lived with DH exclusively for a year. Disney Dad taught him he didn't have to listen to me and there are no real consequences for crap behavior. I usually turn a blind eye to Disney behavior unless I feel it encroaches on my authority. DH is definitely going to start feeing discomfort for undermining me with my own dang kid. It's bad enough the skids are playing by the COD playbook.

GrabitAndGo's picture

I get what your DH is saying and doing about wanting to set up BS for success, BUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT it sounds like the kid is determined to eff up his life in some bizarre attempt to spite you.  The proverbial cutting off his own nose off thing.  Someone like that has to find their own rock bottom before they're going to cooperate with people trying to help them.

I understand those homeless shelters can be pretty scary places.  Maybe, just maybe that will start the wake-up call for this kid.  

Notup4it's picture

My DH totally babies my DD too. He is ALWAYS the parent who caves... she knows this, so usually goes to him when she really wants something and knows her other parents won’t be on board. 

She is much younger and not similar issues but she has totally figured out he is the weak link in the family. Thing is with him is that even when we all say no he will totally fight her cause for her. I have had talks with him about it, but I know he just always has her back.  It is sort of a blessing in some ways,big curse in others. 

Other people encourage him in a sense as well because it is always “awe, it is so sweet how close you two are” and “she is so lucky to have such an amazing SD who loves her so much” - but not so fun when you are trying  to be a hard ass and you feel undermined.