I've never came to an online group before for advice nor do I normally talk to strangers about my business but here we are.... I thank you all in advanced.
A little background: my step daughter is 14. I've been in her life for a little over 2 years now. We get along great (considering the raging hormones) and infact, she tells me more than both parents. I also see her more than either of them do due to the fact I work from home.
I can appreciate the "things kids do/don't do" but I've been struggling with a few things and I need advice on how I can do better or better guide her.
The current issue is personal hygiene - specifically mensutal related hygiene. I am not a clean freak but I do have certain standards.
Once the 3 of us started living together the bad habits started to become noticeable. - I had to teach her the habit of washing her hands after using the bathroom (#1 & #2) I hit my breaking point when she used the bathroom, changed her pad, did not wash her hands (you can easily hear the skin) and then put her hands in a communal bag of popcorn... then denied it despite actively chewing popcorn.
The other menstrual related issue is accidents.... I've lost count of how many bloody pairs of underwear I have found on her bathroom floor, blood on our newly installed carpet, as well as accidents on her bedding. I've shown her the proper way to clean her clothes should she have an accident and let her know I am here should she need help but I just found 3 pairs of bloody unders in her bathroom so all of my efforts this far haven't resolved anything. Her father had talked to her and he's also asked her mother to talk to her about these things a few times but it just so happens to work out that she's always on her period when she's at our house so her mother's response is "we don't have those issues at my house". She is really no help as she does her best to try to make living with her more appealing to try and sway the daughter to living with her full time.
I am tired of being the nag. It's not fun for either of us and her father doesn't like to get into it and now thinks I should check her bathroom daily and whenever it happens that she's to scrub her bathroom floor. I'm not sure what this will achieve except for resentment towards us for making her clean...